Death is not the end
by Tinkalinka
Summary: About three things I was absolutely positive. First, the man was a fragile human being. Second, there was a part of me - and I didn't know how potent that part might be – that craved him. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably attracted to him. ...oOo... A Jasper and Edward vampire love story. ...oOo...EPOV. M/M
1. Prologue

**A/N**

I hope there are still J/E-readers out there. Please join me in Edward's path to true love.

Eventually, there'll be m/m action in the story, so if that's not your thing or you're not 18+ - please look for your entertainment elsewhere.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

Some parts of this story will be close to the original story (as the lines from the summary suggest) – other parts will diverge. If needed be, I'll add a few facts on my profile page along the way.

I've worked on this story for a year and the last couple of months I've edited. The story is completed, and I'll update regularly – once a week. Probably on Fridays.

English is not my first language. However, the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli has been my lifesaver. She has pre-read, betaed, but more importantly mentored me. - Sweetie, I couldn't have done this without you. I'm forever grateful for your guidance and patience. Thank you.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Prologue**

EPOV

I'd never given much thought to how I would die, being immortal as I was. There were only a few ways for my kind to depart this life, and by one's own hand, simply wasn't one of them. However, dying in a fight with a favorite prey of mine was indeed possible, and seemed an obvious choice.

…oOo…

I went to the place in the forest, where I had often spotted and teased a lone female cougar. More than once, I had devoured the feline's sought prey right in front of it. I could never read its mind, but every feeling that I picked up on suggested, the animal shared nothing but grudge against me. Giving myself over to _that_ hunter was my only aim – a mission that would not end in my favor.

I found a good spot and waited patiently for my destiny. After twenty minutes, I heard the breathing of the animal and smelled her delicious musky scent as she prowled in my direction. I made sure she knew prey was around by ruffling leafs and twisting branches. Within a few minutes, she was visible and slowly approaching me.

This was my killer. This feline was definitely worthy, I thought while her familiar muscular form moved closer still. The pumping beat of the animal's heart got louder as it crept up on me, and the swoosh of blood coursing through its veins, called to me, as it always had. I could hear the ruffle of its thick fur as its pads softly advanced. The cougar glanced at me as if she knew something was up. Why would a deadly predator as myself, look like I was waiting to be attacked? I stared right back at her. Into her screwed yellow eyes, and she took my boldness as an invite to pounce.

Easily, I moved out of her way. When she realized I'd changed position in time to avoid her deadly assault, she bared her sharp teeth and roared at me. Then she snarled before she attacked once more. This time she managed to knock me down, but I punched her in the jaw and raised myself from the ground. Even though my solemn purpose was to surrender, I wouldn't do it without a last fight.

For outsiders, this must have looked like something from another world, and in a way, it was. My world had always been different, even amongst my own kind.

The feline licked its wound before it attacked one more time, and this time I didn't fight back. Her big paws pinned me to the ground as she leaned closer to inhale my scent. A look of bliss crossed her features. Maybe I was her favorite brand of heroin too.

The cougar roared victoriously toward the sky before I sensed the pain of ripping teeth at my throat. A blurred image of a devastated Carlisle entered my vision. I knew nothing would ever take away the pain he would feel about having his first 'blood-child' ending his own life, but I hoped he would be able to forgive me.

Right before I felt the impact of the killer's vigorous paw across my face, I whispered, "Sorry Carlisle," and sighed, as images of my long happy life passed by.

Then everything turned black.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

Fear not, dear readers. As the title suggests _it's not the end._

I'll post Chapter 1 on Sunday.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N**

Welcome back and hello to new readers.

I'm grateful for the reviews, fav's, and alerts. Thank you.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

My thanks go to the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli. My pre-reader, beta, but more importantly mentor.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter One**

 **2014**

EPOV

"Another, please." I heard the man, sitting at the bar, call to the bartender, while pointing to his empty glass on the counter in front of him. There was quite a distance between the bar and the corner table I was occupying, but being a vampire had its advantages - exceptional hearing being one of them.

It was the fourth night in a row that I frequented the fine establishment owned by Sam Uley. It was the third night in a row the man at the bar was here too, and he was the reason why I kept coming back.

He was still as breathtaking as when I first encountered him, a few nights ago.

…oOo…

 _The first night_

The bar was almost full, and there was a lively traffic of guests going in and out of the doors to inhale their favorite kind of nicotine. I still hadn't decided whether it was a blessing or a curse, that smoking was no longer allowed in bars or anywhere else this last decade. Not that I'd ever smoked myself, but the smoke-filled public places helped to disguise the human scents, and therefore lowered my temptation for their blood.

I looked around the bar to see if there was anyone worthy of my attention.

Besides exceptional hearing, I also possessed the ability to read people's minds. I could read every single mind in this bar, but one – the mind belonged to a man sitting alone at the counter.

He looked about as tall as me, lean yet muscular in a sinewy way. His hair was jaw length and golden, as far as I could tell from the dim light. He wore faded jeans, a tartan fleece shirt and combat boots. He fitted right in with the main male population of Port Angeles and looked the complete opposite of my usual type of prey – arrogant and well-groomed businessmen from major cities around the world.

I figured he was waiting for someone. However, that someone never showed. He kept to himself all night, even though, more than one woman tried to catch his attention. Intrigued by his lack of interest in the flirting women, I started wondering if he was here to drown love ache, or if he might be gay, like myself.

He was a mystery to me. In my one-hundred years of existence as a vampire, I had never come across a mind I couldn't read.

I hadn't yet decided if I wanted to feed on him or take the risk of making him cry out in ecstasy, as we had sex at his place, over and over.

It had been years since I last fed on a human being and even longer since, I had been sexually involved with another man. The last feed and eventually kill, had been a pedophile priest in Ireland and the last sexual encounter had been with another vampire in Florence. I rarely involved myself with human beings sexually, although I craved their warm bodies. I was always afraid I might accidentally end up killing them in the middle of the act, due to my overwhelming desire for blood when aroused.

The man signaled for the bartender and paid his tab while I finished the last of my whiskey. He had been sitting in the same position all night, so I hadn't had the opportunity to see him from the front. That changed the moment I saw him climb off the chair and turn around slowly.

Jesus… he was gorgeous.

He had a distinguished jawline hidden behind the golden locks of hair and a full mouth with luscious lips. Yet, the most significant feature was his piercing blue eyes. Eyes that for a few seconds locked with mine, before he turned around and left. His walk was sensual, almost feline, and when he exited the door, the incoming wind blew his scent in my direction. A scent more potent, sweet yet musky and delicious than I had ever come across as a vampire. All my previous plans vaporized… I could not feast on this beautiful man, nor could I have sex him. It would be the death of him. I was sure I would not be able to control myself and stop, if I were to drink his blood, or his more intimate fluids.

Instead of following him as I had planned, I remained at my table in the corner and calmed myself by counting all the times I had tampered with my identity. I came up with twenty. Some of the changes were in order to hide my real age – others where alter egos for artistic use. I smiled when I recalled some of the rather unfortunate ones, like my flamenco guitarist, Eduardo Cuello.

However, I could no longer evade the intrusive thoughts in the back of my mind.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, the man was a fragile human being. Second, there was a part of me - and I didn't know how potent that part might be – that craved him. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably attracted to him.

When the bar closed, I left and ran back home to Forks. It was quite a distance, but vampire speed made it bearable.

It was not my home per se, but Carlisle and Esme welcomed me back last month after the decades I had spent abroad in Europe, sowing my wild oats, so to speak.

…oOo…

Being a single vampire during daytime was easy. I went to the library, the movies, occasionally I borrowed Carlisle's Volvo and drove to Seattle, and then I went hunting. It was all myth and old superstition about vampires not being able to sustain daylight; we only needed to make sure we didn't draw too much attention, as our skin tended to sparkle after too much sun expose.

The nights were worse. I got reckless, as I didn't sleep… at all. I didn't have a mate to make passionately love to - like Carlisle had Esme. I had read all the classics twice. Although, there were some excellent new vampire-TV shows on the cable net, I longed for company and meaningfulness in my so-called life.

Carlisle had told me, there were other vampire covens in this part of the US and I hoped to run into some sooner rather than later. That was why I went to Sam's bar. Carlisle had mentioned several vampires were regulars at the bar. Maybe I would be able to find a mate or some company in general.

...oOo...

* * *

 **A/N**

Another short chapter. They will be longer as the story progress.

See you on Tuesday where I'll post Chapter 2. Then it's back to Friday updates.

Hit the button below and leave me some love, if this story is your new personal brand of heroin.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N**

Thank you for reading and reviewing. Much appreciated. I reply to all reviews if possible.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

My thanks go to the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli. My pre-reader, beta, but more importantly mentor.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter Two**

 _The second night_

When I saw the man the following night, he came right after I had arrived at Sam's bar. I wondered if he was going to be alone all night once more, or if he would be joined by a friend or lover later on.

Almost exactly, the same thing happened as on the previous night. Women flirted, and he turned them all down. Even a rather attractive man hit on him and received the same cold shoulder. My mysterious man sat alone and motionless in the same position all night, as he slowly and deliberately drank three shots of bourbon.

When I concentrated and inhaled deeply, I could smell his scent all the way, to where I was sitting in the corner under cover of darkness. His intoxicating scent had the same effect on me as yesterday. It calmed me and aroused me at the same time. It enthralled me and called to me - as if it was my personal brand of heroin.

He paid and prepared to leave around 3 am – same as the night before. I began to wonder if he always had drinks after a regular late night shift, or if he suffered from insomnia since he frequented bars alone during the night.

When he exited the door, I rose from my chair, paid my bill and slowly followed him. I kept a distance, even though he would hardly be able to hear my footsteps – another vampire advantage.  
He went to the parking lot close by and unlocked an old red truck. I had never seen a car in such a terrible condition and decided I'd better make sure he arrived home safely. He had also had a few drinks, though it was half an hour since he bottomed the last one.

Soon the engine roared, and the truck started rolling.

At first, I ran behind the truck but made sure he wouldn't be able to catch a glimpse of me in the rear mirrors. When he turned off the main road and drove down an unpaved road in the forest, I boarded the body of his truck. I could tell from the way he checked the rear mirrors that he'd noticed the noise my jump made. However, he wore it off as bumps on the road and continued his driving.

After a quarter of a mile, I finally saw a house situated in a small clearing in the forest. He parked up and turned off the engine while I remained in my hiding spot.

When he'd entered his house and turned on several lights, I ventured closer. His sweet scent hung like a thick fog in the air, and I let myself indulge in it… it was simply mouthwatering. I wondered if he stuck to a particular diet or if it was his natural odor.

I walked around the house until I found the front door. On the letterbox, I saw the man's name: Jasper Whitlock. What an unusual name. I thought it suited him well.

Plastered against the wall, I slyly peeked through a window to make sure he was safe before I took off.

…oOo…

Jasper Whitlock's house was suited between Port Angeles and Forks, so the remaining part of my journey home was fast. I was also eager to see what I could find out about him.

When I arrived home, I was surprised but pleased, to find Carlisle in the library instead of working night shifts pro bono at the hospital, as he often did. Maybe he could enlighten me with facts about Jasper.

"Jasper Whitlock? Yes, I know who he is, but I've never actually met him in person. He keeps to himself most of the time. Charlie Swan mentioned he moved down here some months ago. Before that, he lived in Alaska. He's a writer as far as I know. Why do you ask, Edward?" Carlisle enquired.

"I went to Sam's bar, and he was there… I'm just curious, that's all," I replied, trying to hide my enthusiasm as best I could.

"Uh huh… just curious?" Carlisle asked with a mischievous smile.

After our small conversation, I went to my room and sat at my grand piano. I had been stuck at the same place in my composition for days, but suddenly I was inspired and after three hours of nonstop playing, I had composed the love theme for the movie I was currently scoring.

The sun had risen, and I decided to go hunting. I always came across more humane when well fed, and my chances when approaching Jasper later would, therefore, increase, I assumed.

Carlisle occasionally came hunting with me, but this morning he and Esme were having _intimate_ time.

I changed into an old pair of jeans and a hoodie before I left the house alone.

…oOo…

Scientifically, I could go weeks, even months, without feeding, but I rarely did. It made me edgy and unpleasant company. Human blood was an exception nowadays, and killings had been getting fewer by the year, in favor of animals instead. Living in a forest like this, was like having a live pantry within reach. Washington had a great variety of bears, wolves, deer and smaller animals like beavers, foxes, and rabbits. Moreover, my favorite prey – felines. My mouth watered already, thinking about their delicious and tasteful blood.

…oOo…

Carlisle had on a previous hunt, showed me an area deep in the forest where I was bound to find plenty of deer and maybe even a mountain lion. I climbed a tree and waited patiently for one or the other to enter my radius.

I was about to change location when I sniffed the odor of a male deer. It was musky, and my instinct as a predator overtook me. I crept up on my prey, but mere seconds before my deadly attack, another predator surpassed me. Why hadn't I heard or at least smelled the now deer feasting mountain lion? It wasn't like me to be taken by surprise.

The mountain lion lifted its head, glared my way, hissed and then dragged its prey into the bushes, away from my vision. For a short moment, I considered attacking it, but changed my mind. This superior feline deserved to feast on its prey. Today I had to settle on another animal, but maybe I would catch the mountain lion itself, in the future.

I ferreted and fed on a smaller deer some minutes later, but somehow felt unsatisfied, although, its warm blood still pumped through my veins. I decided this morsel would have to do for now, as I was anxious to go home and prepare myself for another night at Sam's bar, where I hoped to see and maybe even encounter Jasper Whitlock.

I discarded my dirty, bloody clothes and took a long hot shower. I didn't need to shower, as my vampire skin sort of cleansed itself, but I did enjoy the feeling of hot, cascading water on my back and other more intimate parts of my physique, now and then.

Tonight's shower was also a preparation for what I hoped for, later in the night.

My vampire scent lured prey to me, but if I washed myself and disguised some of my natural scent with soap, it was less intoxicating for my victims. I hoped Jasper would choose to be with me because he liked me, and not because I lured him in.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

See you on Friday


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N**

Thank you all for reading. Happy to see some FF readers still like J&E stories.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

My thanks go to the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli - my lifesaver.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter Three**

The bartender had poured him his third drink - usually the last one before he left. If I wanted to make a move, I had to do it now.

For a brief moment, I feared he was already leaving the bar, but noticed he just picked a coin from his pocket and went to the jukebox instead of the door. I wondered what song he would choose. Not that it mattered. I could hear the machine work and mere seconds later the familiar first notes of 'Sympathy for the devil' filled the room. He chose one of my all-time favorites – at least we had something in common. I doubted there would be anything else, but I planned to find out.

The stool next to him was still empty, as he had discarded all offers as the previous nights. I took the seat. Jasper didn't pay any attention to my close presence, and that was strange. Maybe the soap did the trick after all. Usually, when close enough, humans were drawn to me like magnets, as the scent of a vampire was more alluring than any aftershave.

"Took your time," he suddenly said without even turning around to face me, and only loud enough for me to hear.

Had he been playing me all night and the previous nights? Had he turned all the other offers down because he had been waiting for me to approach him? I would not keep him waiting any longer…

"Hello, my name is Edward Cullen," I said, hoping he would turn around. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last night. You must be Jasper Whitlock?" I continued.

"That is correct. May I enquire to how you know my name?" he asked as he turned his torso toward me.

"Oh, I have my wicked ways." I raised an eyebrow when I stared into his blue eyes. If only he knew how wicked my ways often were.

"I know you have… can I buy you a drink, or is this _liquor_ not you kind of brand?" He sounded mighty sure of himself when he pointed to the empty bourbon glass in front of him.

"I'd like a whiskey, neat," I told the bartender when he headed toward us.

"So, Edward. What are you doing in an establishment like this at 2.30 am?" Jasper asked as the bartender placed my drink in front of me.

"I could ask you the very same, Jasper?" While I lifted my glass, I took the opportunity to study him; he was even more stunning up close.

"Guess I'm just a night owl, seeking the company of other loners," he mumbled and nipped his bourbon.

"Well, I haven't exactly seen you accepting any of the offered company. You must have high standards… a few of the women were rather good-looking," I fished.

"Maybe, I didn't notice." Instead of turning toward me, he was fidgeting with his drink.

I liked his reply. Once again, I considered whether he preferred men as opposed to women, but deep down I hoped he actually _liked_ me and wanted me to keep him company - and eventually more.

Mick Jagger continued whining about being 'Pleased to meet you', so I took the opportunity to continue our conversation and nodded toward the jukebox. "So, The Stones? I would have picked you for a more contemporary-song-kind-of-guy."

"Nah… nothing beats the old classics. This particular song is very appropriate for the situation, don't you agree?"

Whatever did he mean? Being mere inches from him hadn't strengthened my connection to him either. I caught none of his thoughts. Did he possess a special gift I'd never heard of? Not being able to read his mind was a pain in the ass, but also interesting. This had to be what it was like to be an ordinary human or an ungifted vampire, for that matter. You had no idea whether your flirting was effective or not.

At least I didn't scare him, and he wasn't repulsed by my presence – otherwise I presumed he would have told me to leave him alone.

The Stones faded out, and a young girl picked Nirvana's 'Smells like teen spirit' for the next song. Not a bad choice. Jasper did smell young and alive… very much so.

"Well, it was nice meeting you Edward, but I have to go home now," he said when I realized he was about to offer me his hand. I couldn't shake his hand without him noticing how cold mine was. Even though, I wanted nothing more than to feel his warm hand in mine, I buried my hands deep in my pockets and gave him a nod instead.

He hesitated for a few seconds as he read my body language, and gave me a nod in return. I could feel his stare on my pocket-hidden hands as he put on his jacket.

"Will you be here tomorrow night, Jasper?"

Jasper contemplated something for a minute before he fixed his gaze on my face. "I have nowhere else to be, so I might as well, Edward. Maybe we could grab a bite to eat before the drinks. Sam's wife, Emily, is an excellent cook. Around 9 pm?" He looked at me with anticipation.

"9 pm it is. Drive home safely," I said before he left and walked straight to the door, without turning around.

Jesus, he had a fine ass.

I followed him out the door and watched him as he entered his truck, but tonight I let him drive home without following.

…oOo…

The journey back to Forks was liberating. I couldn't believe I finally had a date. A date with the most beautiful, sexy, and mysterious man I had ever met. As I ran, insecurities started playing in my mind when I recalled his reaction to my lack of a handshake. He'd seemed confused, maybe even bewildered when he noticed my pocket-buried hands. Had he taken me for being rude or had my actions confirmed what he'd already suspected - that I wasn't an ordinary man. Was tomorrow's suggested date only a pretense - an excuse to leave early and escape me?

All sorts of questions kept popping up. It was actually rather exhausting and confusing, being attracted to someone. How was it not possible for me to read his mind, why did he come across sullen, and why did he smell like heaven?

I would have to wait patiently for another eighteen hours before hopefully, I found out.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

And so they talked...

If you hit the button below and leave me some love, I might take them out to play on Tuesday.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N**

This Tuesday chapter is very short. The chapters will get longer as the story progress.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

My thanks go to the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli. My pre-reader, beta, but more importantly mentor. **You rock my world**.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter Four**

Back home, I did some research on Jasper - my new favorite subject.

I was born in a time when, if research was the order of the day, one had to go to the library or local archives. I often sent my thanks to the people who invented the World Wide Web. They made my life so much more entertaining.

I opened my browser and typed 'Jasper Whitlock' in the search engine. I got a few odd hits, but I reckoned there should be more if he was a writer like Carlisle had said. The links I followed didn't lead to the Jasper I was looking for. Either he wasn't that famous or he used a pseudonym. I was inclined to believe the later if writing was his livelihood. I expanded my search to writers living in the Olympic Peninsula, but the results weren't any better.

If only I knew what kind of writer, he was. Carlisle never told me if he wrote novels or non-fiction. Unfortunately, Carlisle was at the hospital, so I couldn't ask him.

Frustrated, and getting nowhere, I logged on to my email account and found four unread messages. Three of them were from my agent Mr. Jenks urging me to return his calls regarding the score I was currently working on. The other one was from my brother Emmett. We were not blood related, or maybe that was exactly what we were; Carlisle changed the both of us. Me, he saved from the Spanish flu when I was twenty-five. Emmett he saved some decades later from the deathly wounds caused by a grizzly bear. Last, but not least Carlisle changed Emmett's wife, Rose. Her story was entirely different from ours.

As always, there was no subject line to Emmett's email. It annoyed the hell out of me; he couldn't even be bothered to highlight the essence of his messages. However, that was the way he was - a living-in-the-moment-kind-of-guy.

 _Yo, what's up bro'… Long time no see! Carlisle told me U back from Europe, so how's good old Forks treating U – or should I say how do U treat Forks?_

I hated it when he tried to sound like a hip-hop gangster from Bronx. He was far from it. He might have had the right build, but when it came to his character – he was the absolute opposite.

 _No need to spill – Rose'n'me will be joining U all soon. C U later alligator… (damn! That was a fine tune). Speaking of animals… have you seen my old grizzly around the forest of Forks? Don't you dare kill him before I arrive._

 _Later Em. Rose sends her love_

…oOo…

I replied to the emails from Jenks; informing him about the progress of my composition. He had been my agent for more than thirty years and was the only human who knew my real identity. That made him so much more than the ordinary artist agent. There had been other agents before him, but they were all dead and gone now.

I scheduled a meeting with Jenks in Seattle for next week, as I figured I would have finished the entire score by then. I only needed to complete the closing credit song. The movie producers had already picked a young upcoming artist to sing it, and I had made myself familiar with her previous work and voice these last weeks. I knew what a teenage audience liked, so all I had to do was evolve the love theme I composed the other day into a catchy pop song. I could do that - I had three Oscars and some Grammy awards to prove it!

…oOo…

The day dragged on. I wished I had the ability to sleep… even for a few hours. Then I could at least have dreamed of Jasper. I had only faint memories of being human, but dreaming was one of them. Sometimes reading people's minds, reminded me of the blurred visions of a dream.

I watched a few episodes of the newest vampire-show. It sucked – and not in a good way. There wasn't enough blood for my taste. I was sure I could have written a better and more vampire-realistic plot. I even considered writing and sending a script to the producers, anonymously of course.

In the afternoon, I hunted with Esme. We stayed close to the house and settled for the odd fox and a few squirrels.

It was finally time for me to make myself ready for tonight's date. I took a shower and chose a more formal outfit of black slacks, a thin, light gray cashmere sweater, and a charcoal blazer since we were having dinner. I tried to tame my hair. Shaving was superfluous; my facial hair never grew.

Carlisle had returned from his shift at the hospital, and he and Esme wished me good luck. In addition, Carlisle told me, Jasper wrote some sort of medieval fantasy novels. I gathered they were in the same category as 'Lord of the Rings' and 'A Song of Fire and Ice'. Well, he was an artist like myself. It looked like we did have something in common other than great taste in music and being up late.

I borrowed Carlisle's car. I needed to have a transport alibi if, as I hoped, Jasper and I decided to leave Sam's bar together. And it was raining. I wouldn't want to arrive all drenched for my first date in decades.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

See you on Friday.

All your reviews and comments make my day. Please keep them coming - including the anonymous ones. I reply to them all if possible.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N**

Thank you for the reviews.

Here's a long chapter for you. It's dating time...

Enjoy.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

My thanks go to the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli. My pre-reader, beta, but more importantly mentor.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter Five**

I arrived at Sam's sooner than planned; broke a speed limit or two on the way. I scanned the bar to see if Jasper had already arrived, but there was no sign of him. I went to the table I had occupied the previous nights and grabbed a menu card on my way – not that I was going to eat anything. But I had to order something for appearance sake, so I took a closer look at what they had to offer. Salmon, steaks, burgers, salads and other vegetarian dishes. I could always order a steak and pretend it was over cooked.

I looked at my watch every five minutes, and when the time was 9.25 pm, and there was still no sign of Jasper, I started to worry.

Did something happen on his way over here, or did he decide not to show, after all. I went to the parking lot to see if his truck was outside, but unless he had driven another vehicle, he was not here.

I passed the bar on the way back to my table and ordered a whiskey. I asked Sam if Jasper had made a call – saying he was going to be late.

Sam hadn't heard from him, and when I read his facial expression it portrayed the thoughts he was having. Why would Jasper involve himself with a _person_ like me? I'd heard of the unique gifts some of the Native Americans in this area of the US possessed, but I had never come across one who could read me this fast.

I took my whiskey and walked back to my secluded table.

People came and went, but there was still no sign of Jasper.

Much later, when Sam called for the last round, I paid my tab and left. I looked for Jasper's truck one more time, but only saw the same five cars I did a few hours ago when I checked.

Frustrated and disappointed, I sat in the Volvo and smashed my fists against the steering wheel a few times, and shouted, "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"

I should have known… the date was too good to be true after all!

…oOo…

On my ride back to Forks, I passed the road leading to Jasper's house.

Out of nowhere, a thought struck me; what if he hadn't stood me up on purpose – what if something bad _had_ happened to him. He could be lying hurt in his remote house or worse, wounded outside. I turned the car around and drove down the unpaved road. What would I say if I found him unharmed inside his house, and he didn't want to see me? I pondered the dilemma for a moment before deciding I'd have to cross that bridge if necessary. My primary concern was to make sure he was all right.

I found his truck parked up front, and there were lights in several of the rooms in his house. I exited my car and slowly walked toward one of the windows. I neither saw him nor heard his breathing. His fragrance was nowhere near as potent compared to the other night – it was barely lingering in the air. However, the scent of a mountain lion was dominant enough to overpower my senses. Oh my God, I hoped an animal hadn't harmed him in any way.

After I'd established he wasn't inside, I used the old credit-card-trick and opened his front door.

Once inside, Jasper's fragrance hit me like a hammer. It was intense and undisturbed by surrounding odors.

After I had indulged myself in his heady scent for a little while, I looked around his home. It was warm and welcoming; filled with all kinds of old, well-crafted furniture and original art on the walls. There was a huge fireplace with a rocking chair in front and books everywhere - on shelves, tables, and the floor. I spotted one in the chair; presumably, the one he was currently reading - 'Legends and mysteries: old and new ones'. I picked it up and studied some of the drawings inside. Werewolves, fairies, dragons … and vampires.

Had he figured out I was a vampire?  
Probably not.  
It was more likely; he didn't like me and had made other plans for tonight. Someone could have picked him up, and he'd left the lights on to make it look like he was at home.

I knew I should leave, but now that I was here, I took my time studying his house a little bit more. The book collection ranged from Shakespeare to Tolkien and Comic books to dictionaries. There was a rather large selection of thick colorful paperbacks on a bookcase near the fireplace. I moved closer and noticed, they had been written by four different authors.

Curious, I grabbed a couple of volumes and turned a few pages. The oldest books were from the seventies, and the latest was from this year. Could this recent book and maybe more, be by Jasper's hand? I turned it over and studied the back cover. There was a short plot description, but hardly any facts about the writer, Jason Whitman. The author had the same initials as Jasper Whitlock.

I examined the other books and found males with the initials 'J. W.' had written them all. How odd. Must be a coincidence. Even if Jasper looked younger than his actual age, he couldn't be more than thirty. He wasn't even born, when some of these books were written.

I stored the names in my memory for later investigation and took the first book by Jason Whitman with me to Jasper's couch. I read seven chapters, and decided to buy it when I returned home. I was enamored with the alternative universe Jasper had created – _if_ he was the writer.

Making sure I replaced the book correctly, I continued to look around his living room. At the opposite end of the fireplace, there was an open kitchen. It was clean and nothing gave away how long he had been absent. I opened his fridge, but only found the usual cartoons of milk, cans of beer and vegetables. On the table, there was a big bowl holding all kind of fruits. At least I knew he was a vegetarian. Could be the reason why he smelled different from most men.

I walked down a small hall to another room. This had to be where he wrote the books. There was a brand new Mac, and handwritten notes lay on the desk. I picked one up, and two words caught my eyes, _Vlad,_ and _Dracula_. I concluded the book I'd found in his chair, was probably research for his next novel – a novel about vampires.

Okay, maybe he _had_ figured me out.  
What was it he'd said when 'Sympathy for the devil' played? _This particular song is very appropriate for the situation, don't you agree._

Well, I wouldn't let Carlisle, Esme or myself be exposed. I didn't want to be part of his research, either. There was only one solution - I had to wipe him from my memory and move on. Before I did, there was one more thing I needed to do, though.

I opened the closed door at the end of the small hall and entered his bedroom. In here, his fragrance was overwhelming, as I'd figured. I picked up one of his pillows from the made bed and inhaled. Aahhhhh. The man himself I had to forget, but now that I had it memorized, I would always treasure his scent.

I made sure to place the pillow exactly the way I'd found it, and closed the door to his bedroom. Before I left his house, I took one last look around to establish, I hadn't overlooked any signs of where he might be or left any trails of my own.

…oOo…

When I returned to the Volvo, the sun was about to rise, and even though I wasn't particularly hungry, I decided to go hunting. I wanted to have some success before I made my way back to Forks. I parked the car near the area where I'd stumbled upon the mountain lion the other day, and continued the rest of the way by foot.

The forest was quiet this early in the morning. The only sounds were whistles from a few birds and noises made by the small animals in the bushes. There were no signs of bigger prey like deer or a feline. I was about to give in when I heard a weak whimper not far from where I stood. It sounded like a wounded animal. I knew the hunters placed traps for rabbits and other small rodents in the forest, but these whines sounded like they came from a larger animal. If I was not mistaken, it could be a large feline – maybe even a mountain lion.

I looked around but didn't see any traps on the ground or catch-nets hanging from trees. Strange. Even though, the whimpers were weakening, I could tell I was getting closer to my target. I followed the sound a bit further, and beneath a heap of branches and fallen leaves, I detected a trapping pit. At the bottom, a mountain lion was entrapped and hurt.

It hissed when it saw me, hoping to scare me away. But, due to fatigue and injuries from the fall, it was far from successful. Instead, it resigned and curled up, licking a nasty looking wound.

It was such an easy target - defenseless and hurt as it lay there. The smell of blood from its injury hit my nostrils. The rusty smell made me want to finish the lion off and wallow in its warm, delicious blood.

I jumped into the hole with the surrendered predator, and when I was about to crash my teeth into its pulsing neck, turning it out of its misery, it directed its head toward me. It looked without a doubt like the animal from the other day, and when big pleading blue eyes met mine, I hesitated for a second. Mountain lions were born blue-eyed, but they outgrew the color… but not this one. These two pools of blue dragged me in. Sucked all the killer instinct out of me.

Cursing myself for being an easy emotional target, I lifted the limp animal up from the hole. Placed on my shoulders, I carried it to the parked Volvo.

There was a throw on the rear seat, and I wrapped it around the cold, weak and injured animal. I hoped Carlisle wasn't playing the Good Samaritan at Fork's general hospital, as I broke all speeding records on my way back home.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

Oh no, Jasper didn't show. I wonder why...

Rest assured - they will meet again. There is plenty of time (21 chapters and an epilogue) for the boys to get dirty.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N**

Thank you for reviewing - your comments make my day.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

My thanks go to the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli. My pre-reader, beta, but more importantly mentor.

She made Carlisle a better doctor in this chapter.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter Six**

"Carlisle!" I shouted the second I exited the car and reached for the mountain lion on the rear seat.

His other car - parked in its usual place - indicated he was at home, thank God. With a surprised look on his standard calm face, Carlisle met me on the stairs to our house.

"Edward, what on earth are you doing? Are you bringing your pantry back home with you now? What if you-"

I'd interrupted before he got any further. "Carlisle, I need your help. This animal is hurt. I think its shoulder might be broken from a severe fall. Can you please look at it?" I urged him, as I rearranged the hold I had of the limp feline in my arms.

"Edward, first of all, I'm not a vet, second, why do you even want to rescue this animal – it's generally your favorite meal. You kill mountain lions for their tasteful blood _and_ for fun."

"I'll tell you later. Can you fix him? He has lost a lot of blood." I begged.

Carlisle seemed confused, but sighed, "Okay. You'd better take the animal inside then, and I'll see what I can do… I'll sedate him even though he's already passed out," he explained as he helped me carry the wounded predator inside our home and down to the basement.

…oOo…

An hour had passed before I went back to the basement. Carlisle walked into the temporary operating theater he had established, wiping his recently ungloved, sterilized hands and beckoned me to follow. "I think he'll be out of it for a few hours. I haven't sedated a feline before." He gestured toward the bandaged, sedated feline, and I was relieved to see everything apparently went well. Fearing the tempting, concentrated smell of the lion's blood, had kept me away during the surgery.

"Thank you, Carlisle. I know this seems like an odd favor to ask, but I can't really explain it… I … well, I felt sorry for the animal, I guess. This may sound strange, but somehow I feel like there is a connection between the lion and me. Like he's a reincarnated lost friend." I sighed, as the realization hit me.

Carlisle looked serious but nodded. "I don't know for how long he'll remain calm when he awakes, but he'll not be fit to return to nature for a couple of days, so I found an old cage. I think we'll lock him in there until we see how well he responds to his new surroundings." Carlisle pointed to a large cage on the floor. A cage I had never seen before and I wondered what its real purpose was.

While Carlisle cleaned up, I ran my fingers through the sedated animal's thick, warm, and dry fur. It was soft as silk. Even more golden than the general mountain lion fur color. I usually didn't take my time to praise this excellent predator; I only killed it for its warm addictive blood. When it lay here, pacified, I could closely study its beautiful features.

Before we left the basement, Carlisle and I placed the animal in the cage and made sure there were water and some raw meat for it to eat when, it came back to life. We would be able to hear when it awoke from upstairs, so there was no point staying down here.

…oOo…

Instead, I returned to my room, where I wandered restlessly around thinking about Jasper. I knew I should stop thinking about him, but I simply couldn't.

Suddenly, I recalled the names of the writers in Jasper's house, and eagerly logged on to my computer. I typed the most recent author - Jason Whitman - first. Bingo! There were more than a million hits. Wow… I never knew how popular these fantasy writers were. I found wikis, fan sites, reviews, library entrances and the main page from Whitman's publishing house Twilight. I figured _that_ was a good place to look for more personal information regarding the writer.

The web page looked like the covers from the books – very colorful and mysterious. There were guides to the characters, maps to the universe, reviews, and the same short author biography I'd found on the back cover of the books. I had hoped to find out more about him here.

I tried a few of the fan sites, but they had mainly copy pasted the bio from Twilight's Web page.

Not finding what I was looking for, I scrolled down the list of search results, hoping for alternative Web pages. It suddenly dawned on me; there were no links to live interviews, only a very limited amount of written interviews on fan sites. Seemed odd to such a famous writer.

Still not satisfied with my results, I searched for some of the other authors with the initials J.W. I got fewer hits, and the lack of information was almost the same. Different publishers, but still no personal information nor live interviews. Two hours later, I was none the wiser as to whether Jason Whitman or any of the other writers were the one and only Jasper Whitlock.

…oOo…

Disappointed by my poor detective skills, I left my room and met Carlisle and Esme in the living room. We talked about the mountain lion and I let them in on my disastrous date with Jasper – or more correctly, lack of date. I told them I went to Jasper's empty but lit house; I did withhold the part of me _entering_ his house, going through his stuff, sniffing his pillow and discovering the subject for his next novel. I didn't want them to find me creepy, and I certainly didn't want to alarm them.

They both seemed sorry for me; knowing how much I was looking forward to my date.

"You will meet the right one – your mate for life, Edward. I am absolutely confident." Esme comforted me.

"I know. Somehow, I thought that Jasper was the one. Apparently, he doesn't feel the same way. He would have turned up if he did, wouldn't he?"

"Maybe something got in the way. He doesn't have your phone number, right? Why don't you go to his place one more time Edward? Maybe he is home by now," Carlisle encouraged.

"What about our patient downstairs? He'll be waking up soon, won't he?" I asked, not sure if I wanted the animal to wake up in this strange place without a familiar face in sight. Wait… did I just count myself as a familiar face to a mountain lion?

"He's still sound asleep, possibly from exhaustion, or maybe the sedative was a tad too much. I used one suitable for humans and animals, but I had to guess his weight. If he wakes while you're gone, we'll be able to handle the situation. He's in a cage, and we are capable of fighting back, should it be necessary." Carlisle calmed me.

…oOo…

I knew I would not be able to rest until I'd established where Jasper was, so I planned to go to his house after I had checked in on our newest resident. The feline was still unconscious when I entered the basement, but I detected he was anxious or restless, as he stirred in his sleep. I sat down on the floor next to the cage and reached my hand through the bars. I stroked him between his ears, as one would do with a normal sized cat. Must have been my imagination, but I thought I heard a low purr and noticed the stirs slowly disappearing.

"I'll be gone for a little while; I have to check in on a friend of mine. Well, I hope he will be more than a friend… my mate actually. Guess you probably have a mate too, maybe even a litter of cubs. We'll have you ready to return to the forest in no time."

I never had a pet growing up, and the life I was currently leading, didn't facilitate having one either. However, I was surprised how calming I found talking to and petting this particular animal. Maybe, getting a pet or remain acquainted with this one, if possible, could be an option. We did seem to have a bond when I rescued him from his entrapment.

…oOo…

I borrowed the Volvo one more time and decided right there, I needed to get a car of my own.

I drove the familiar way to Jasper's home, parked some distance from his house, and walked the remaining part. Nothing had changed since I was here some hours ago; his truck was parked in the same spot, and the lights inside were still lit. The only difference was the strange odor hitting my nostrils as I ventured closer to his front door. I knew the smell of death and decay – that was not what I picked up now. No, this odor reminded me of the unpleasant stench of wet dog, and it hadn't been around when I left Jasper's house this morning.

Someone or something had been here between then and now.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

 _Someone or something had been here between then and now_. Any ideas?


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N**

I'll not not be able to post a chapter tomorrow, so you get one today. It's a short one. The next one will be posted on Sunday.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

My thanks go to the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli. My pre-reader, beta, but more importantly mentor.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter Seven**

Once more, I used my credit

card to open Jasper's front door. As soon as I passed the threshold, the stench told me someone had been inside his house as well. The action suggested it was a person and not an animal leaving trails behind. I recalled Sam Uley's rather unusual and animalistic odor when I talked to him at the bar the other night. Was it _his_ scent, clinging to Jasper's living room – nearly drowning Jasper's fragrance? Maybe Sam had made sure Jasper was okay after last night's nonappearance at the bar. There was only one way to find out. I ran to the parked car, started the engine and drove toward Port Angeles and Sam's bar.

It was too early for the bar to be open when I arrived, but I knocked on the closed door until Emily opened. She was dressed in an apron and with a cutting knife in her hand.

"Sorry, but we're not open yet." Her voice was firm, and her big black eyes looked me over.

"I need to speak with Sam, is he around?" I snarled. She didn't look scared, as one would expect from my threatening behavior. Instead, she looked like she was trying to figure me out.

"Okay, you'd better come inside then, but I warn you – don't mess with us. We know what you _are_ , and we're not afraid."

I followed her slim figure inside, and she told me to wait by the counter while she got Sam.

The place looked different in daylight. For the first time, I spotted some of the wall carvings above the counter. It was Native American symbols. If I wasn't mistaken, one of the symbols meant 'changing wolf'.

Sam came from the kitchen while I still studied the well-crafted carvings. He didn't announce himself, but I could smell his odor and hear him whipping his hands on a towel, the second he appeared. He went behind the counter and poured my regular brand of whiskey. "So what can I do for you, Edward?"

"You can start by telling me where Jasper is and what you were doing at his place today," I hissed and picked up the drink.

Sam poured himself a drink, "Funny that's your question to me; it's exactly the same I would like to ask you, Edward."

"I know what you are, Sam. I can smell you from miles," I snapped and clenched my fists hard.

"We know what _you_ are, Edward. We can smell your sweet sickening odor from miles."

"When you say _we_ , do you mean Jasper as well?"

"I'm not sure about Jasper's senses. He's different from us."

"What do you mean by different?"

"That's not my story to tell. Listen, Edward… Jasper is a friend of mine. I would never harm him in any way. Nevertheless, I fear something bad has happened to him. It's not like him not saying if he was going out of town. First, I thought you could have harmed him, and when I found your odor at his place this morning, it actually confirmed my suspicion. However, you wouldn't turn up here asking about him if you already knew where he was."

"So you have no idea where he is or if he is actually avoiding me?"

"Jasper has been here almost every night for a month; you're the first one he has ever talked to apart from the bartenders and myself. So I can't figure out why he would be avoiding you, unless… " Sam stopped midsentence and we both knew what he was referring too.

"Unless, he found out what I am." I finished.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I don't know where he is. If I knew, I'm not sure I would tell you, though. Your kind don't belong here and you sure as hell don't mix well with our kind."

What did he mean by _our kind_? Jasper was not a wolf in disguise… I would have known that instantly. The only inhuman feature I had detected was his ability to protect himself from my mind reading.

"We'll be searching for Jasper as well. Tonight some of the men from the reservation will help me. We have our own ways to track him down if he's still around. Consider yourself and your family warned, Edward; we wouldn't want the ordinary people in Forks to realize some of the tales are actually true, do we?"

I almost growled at his threat, but collected myself and left without saying another word.

…oOo…

Venom made its appearance at the back of my throat, and I needed to find a way to calm myself before I placed myself behind the wheel and drove back home.

A movie. An hour and a half of pure nonsense would calm my nerves. I looked at the posters in front of the movie theater I had found downtown Port Angeles, and bought a ticket for the latest blockbuster.

I turned off my cell phone and found a remote seat in the almost empty theater. There was an exaggerating smell of popcorn inside, and it disguised the smell of the otherwise tempting audience.

Almost two hours later, I was relaxed and capable of driving back to Forks. I made a small detour checking if Jasper had returned to his house, but there was still no sign of him having been back. Only a more concentrated stench of wet dog.

...oOo...

* * *

 **A/N**

Soon all will be revealed - stay tuned.


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N**

It's Sunday, it's update time. I guess I'll be posting twice or thrice a week.

Thank you for your lovely comments. They make my day.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related. I just borrow and mix.

As always, my deepest thanks go to the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter Eight**

It was dark when I parked in our driveway, and the minute I exited the Volvo, an eager looking Carlisle met me.

"Not now, Carlisle!" I snarled as I passed him in the doorway, heading straight for my room. I needed time alone to calm myself, and process all the information I had regarding Jasper's disappearance.

Carlisle was persistent and followed me up the stairs, "Haven't you seen my texts?"

"No, I shut my phone off. I have been to the movies. What is it? I'm not really in the mood to talk," I barked upon entering my room and discarding my jacket.

"I need you to calm down, Edward. I have something important and rather strange to inform you. It's about the mountain lion." Carlisle instantly had my full attention.

Damn, I'd nearly forgotten all about the animal locked inside a cage down in our basement. Suddenly I got anxious. While I was away, did something bad happen to it. Where was Esme by the way? Dear God, I hoped it hadn't hurt her. I would never forgive myself if the predator I brought inside harmed my family in any way. "Esme, where is she, Carlisle? Is she all right?"

"She's fine, Edward. She's actually cooking downstairs. Can't you smell it? Lasagna, I think it's called." Carlisle smiled and inhaled the aroma of oregano and cheese ascending my room.

"Cooking, why would she be cooking? Are we expecting someone?" During the time I'd been back, we hadn't had any visitors, and apart from Chief Swan, I didn't recall seeing anyone else over the years.

"We aren't expecting anyone else, but we do already have a guest in the house."

I wasn't in the mood for a round of Q&A and wanted to be left alone. "As far as I know, mountain lions don't eat prepared food – they eat raw meat. Will you please tell me what's going on, or just leave me alone so I can drown my sorrows."

Rather than letting my unfriendly behavior get to him, Carlisle remained calm and appeared speculative. "I gather you didn't have any luck finding Jasper then?"

"No, I _did_ not!" I hissed. "However, I did have an informative conversation with Sam Uley. Turns out, he is a part-time wolf and knows about our kind. Did you know he knows about us?"

"Yes, I know. We have an arrangement – we keep to ourselves. Sometimes our paths cross, but there haven't been any disputes in many years and I hope you haven't caused trouble by threatening Sam?" Carlisle asked, sounding worried.

"No, I went to Sam's bar to see if he knew where Jasper could be. It's all so very strange. He hasn't been home for some time now, and Sam hasn't heard from him either. Sam also referred to Jasper as _his kind_ , what does that mean? I can guarantee you; Jasper is not a fucking dog or wolf. I would know."

"Well, Sam is sort of right about the being-one-of-their-kind-thing. Jasper is not a dog or wolf, but he is a shifter. He just changes into another kind of animal. Somehow, I can't believe you haven't figured it out, Edward."

"Figured what out?" What was he talking about? Jasper - a shifter? Was that the reason why I couldn't read his mind? No, I could read Sam's mind. I must have looked all bewildered because Carlisle grabbed my arm and guided me toward a chair. Once seated, he said something I had never heard him say.

"For once, Edward, please read my mind."

Decades ago, I chose to block the ability to read the minds of my family members'. It was too awkward knowing what went on inside their heads - the good _and_ the bad, especially the more intimate thoughts. When Rose was turned, and Emmett finally had his mate; I had to move away for a while. I couldn't stand being invaded by their lustful thoughts all the time.

Carlisle kneeled in front of me. "Read, Edward. Let the images in my mind guide you."

Hesitatingly, I locked eyes with Carlisle, and all I saw was honesty and kindness. He was my closest and dearest friend, and I trusted him completely. His hands were outstretched, and I took them to intensify our connection.

I had to concentrate to make years of mind blocking disappear, and I was about to give in when suddenly I caught a glimpse of Jasper. He looked slightly different, but there was no doubt it was Jasper. It occurred to me; Carlisle had never met Jasper - so how did he know what Jasper looked like?

"Keep on looking, Edward. Your answer is there," Carlisle encouraged me, as our hands remained locked.

Years of visions bombarded me. It was overwhelming, but I swiped through them, as one would do searching an encyclopedia for a particular word until I found the day of my arrival a month ago. I witnessed the joy Carlisle had felt upon having me back in the family, and it warmed my heart. But, I couldn't linger… I needed to get to the most recent events. Next, I caught glimpses of a worried Esme. The visions were from the previous day, and her concerns regarded me. Further, I needed to go further.

There, there was Jasper. Oh no, he was hurt.

Carlisle's firm hold of my hands withheld me from jumping out of the chair. Where was Jasper and who did this to him? I continued my search for answers in Carlisle's vivid memories, and the next image I got, confused me more than any of the others had. Jasper was lying in a familiar bed with Esme sitting by his side, cooling his feverish forehead with a damp cloth.

"He is here. Jasper has been here all the time, Edward," Carlisle informed me when he noticed my shocked expression.

It didn't make any sense. Did Carlisle or Esme unintentionally hurt Jasper while they hunted the other day? Did they bring him back home with them to nurse him better? Why hadn't they told me? It was more likely, they had found him in the woods, already harmed, and then brought him back to our house.

I couldn't make head or tail of the glimpses I'd caught in Carlisle's mind. "Why did you bring Jasper back here, Carlisle?"

"We didn't, keep looking." Carlisle eagerly encouraged.

Why had Jasper come here on his own account? He didn't know my family, and he hardly knew me. He should more likely avoid us like the plague, if he was a shifter as Carlisle had suggested.

The following visions were from _this_ morning. I quickly passed the private moments Carlisle shared with Esme, flinched and moved on until I saw Carlisle's memories from the moment the Volvo entered the driveway to our home.

"I don't under-"

Carlisle interrupted me before I finished my sentence. "You brought Jasper into this house, Edward. _You._ "

Oh my God!

Suddenly every piece of the puzzle fell into its rightful place.

Jasper's addictive fragrance and feline walk. His attempt to avoid me, and trying to hide his identity. Even the wounded mountain lion's pleading blue eyes made sense now.

About three things I was sure.

First, Jasper was a shifter, my mountain lion to be exact.

Second, he was lying wounded in our guestroom.

And third, I couldn't get there fast enough - even with vampire speed.

...oOo...

* * *

 **A/N**

I know some of you'd already guessed Jasper was the mountain lion. So, this is a vampire/shifter story (with a twist), and I hope you'll stay tuned.

The photo for the story is actually how I picture Jasper in his feline form.

Next time Edward will face Jasper in one of my favorite chapters of the story.

Take care and please leave the boyz and me some love.

See you on Tuesday.

Tink


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N**

Thank you for the wonderful reviews.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

The talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli helped me with this story. I'm forever greatful.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter Nine**

When I rushed from the chair, I nearly knocked Carlisle over. I ran to the guest room further down the hall but stayed outside the closed door for a few seconds - calming and indulging myself in Jasper's intoxicating fragrance. Why hadn't I noticed his scent the minute I returned? It was everywhere and as mouthwatering as expected.

How was it, Jasper's scent didn't affect Carlisle and Esme? Maybe he was _my_ personal brand of heroin and no one else's.

Softly, I knocked on the door, and Esme bid me inside.

Nervously, but excited I turned the door handle and entered the dark room. Only a small lamp was lit, and if it wasn't for my vampire night vision, I would hardly have been able to see Jasper. However, I did see him; his golden curls lay spread on a pillow, and I noticed pearls of cold sweat on his forehead. A sheet covered most of his body, but I saw his bandaged shoulder above it.

"His shoulder and collarbone are broken several places, and we had to change the bandage. Somehow, it didn't quite fit after he…. changed," Carlisle explained as he stood next to me by the bed, looking at Jasper's restless and feverish body.

"Did you see it – the shifting, I mean?"

"No. We heard some weird noises coming from the basement an hour ago. Imagine our surprise, when we found a man instead of a feline inside the cage. That's why I sent all the texts to you."

I cursed myself for turning my phone off, and for going to the movie theater in the first place.

"We figured it was Jasper as he matched your description and called your name." Carlisle watched me carefully, and I nodded, still astonished by all of it. "I took his temperature before you arrived, and it was over 104 F. I googled the temperature of mountain lions, and their body temperature is higher than what humans have. Either way, he has a fever and a minor infection. Before I give him any more drugs, I would like to see if his temperature drops to normal."

"Okay, you're the doctor. Do you think he's in pain?" I asked, fearing the answer.

"He might be. When he wakes up, we will ask him. I'll prepare a syringe with a sedative if he wants it. I'm not sure he will ask for it, though. He could think we were trying to poison him. Esme had to hold him while I gave him a mild tranquilizer in the cage."

I sent them both a reproachful look.

"We had to make sure he was calm while we freed him from his prison, Edward," Esme explained.

"I know. I'm sorry. Sorry, I brought this on you both. I had no idea Jasper was a shifter."

Carlisle placed a comforting arm on my shoulder, "Don't be sorry, Edward. I truly believe you have found your mate. This is not some weird coincidence – this has got to be fate."

Esme gave me a motherly kiss on my check and headed for the door. "Now we have to wait for Jasper to wake up, and hear his version of this incredible story. We will leave the two of you alone for now. Call if you need anything, Edward."

As a vampire, I had never nursed or even taken care of a sick human being before. I had helped Carlisle when Emmett and Rose went through their excruciating transformations, but only peripheral. This was different. There, right in front of me lay the man I craved – hurt, defenseless and delicious. What, if I wouldn't be able to control myself? "Carlisle, maybe you should stay while-"

"You can do this son. I know you won't hurt him."

"Not intentionally. But what if my urge for his blood suddenly overcomes me?"

"Edward, you love this man. Trust me, no matter what, you will never hurt him. He means everything to you now." Carlisle calmed me with his gentle, mature voice.

Esme and Carlisle left me alone to tend to the feverish Jasper, and I had never been more nervous or afraid in my life as human or vampire. Up close, the smell of dried blood from his scratches was tempting, and I had to stop breathing while I was in the same room as him. I wouldn't let the urge of tasting him for real, overpower me.

Esme had left the bowl with cold water and the cloth on the nightstand. I refreshed it before gently dabbing his forehead and dry lips with the moist cotton. When I touched his heated check with the back of my hand, he sighed contently. I did it again, this time with the other check and received the same reaction. I became bolder and traced my index finger over his lips. They were dry from the fever, and I dipped my fingers into the bowl before I repeated the action. As I moistened his dry lips, I wondered what it would be like to kiss his luscious mouth. I hoped I would know some day.

When we'd said goodbye at Sam's bar the other night, I didn't want Jasper to feel the coldness of my palms; now he seemed to crave the coolness they had to offer. I wiped his face with the back of my hand, and the high temperature he was having, seemed to drop.

I wondered if my cold body temperature could make his fever drop altogether, and went to the empty side of the bed. Upon losing our physical contact for a minute, I noticed Jasper's body stirred as if he craved my presence as well. I lay down next to him, and moved as closely as possible to his sheeted, feverish form. The left side of my body aligned with his right side. Jasper heaved a deep content sigh, and his breathing normalized. The widest smile I had produced in years, spread across my face. I was like his personal cooling machine. I hoped it wasn't only the cooling, soothing effect he desired, but me in general.

…oOo…

Minutes turned into hours, and soon the sun would rise. Jasper's temperature had dropped, and he was sound asleep. I tried to understand all the strange things I had experienced these last days and imagined how Jasper's and my life would be if ever we were able to share it.

"You're here? What time is it?" Jasper's raspy voice took me by surprise, and I nearly knocked him out with my elbow.

"Hi, um… you're awake. That's good. Maybe I should fetch Carlisle – he's a doctor, you know," I mumbled while I got off the bed.

He looked confused and winced with pain as he reached out for my hand, "Please don't leave; I have to tell you something before the sun rises. How long do we have?"

"Four to five minutes, I think. Please, Jasper, you don't have to explain anything. You're weak; you need to save your strength, in order to get better."

"I need to tell you something, Edward. I guess you now know the basics. Yes, I am a shifter… part human, part feline. However, I'm not like the ordinary shifters if you're even familiar with their ways. I have no control over my changes… nature has. I change with the sun. When the sun's up, I am the mountain lion you met in the forest. When it's down, I'm the man Jasper you met at the bar. In a few minutes, I will shift into a deadly predator, and-"

"That explains some things, but I doubt you'll harm me in any way, Jasper, even as the predator. I'm not exactly without strength myself. However, I didn't harm you even though I had plenty of opportunity with you being unconscious, I trust you'll neither harm me in any way. Besides, you're still too weak from your injuries. You broke your collarbone and lost plenty of blood."

As Jasper angled his face toward me, he squirmed. Straining his neck further looked like pure agony, so I turned and leaned forward in order for him to see me better. He looked grave and squeezed my hand. "If I _do_ try to attack you or your family, you have my acceptance to tranquilize me. Promise me you'll not let me harm you, Edward?"

Gently, I reached toward his beautiful face and removed locks of damp curls from his forehead. Why did this beautiful man have to leave me already? I knew he'd return, but that would be hours away if what he'd told about the sun was true. My throat tightened, and my voice trembled as I promised I wouldn't let him harm me. "The sun will be up shortly. I'll stay with you while you shift and afterward. We have so much talking to do, Jasper." The stubble on his face tingled the tips of my fingers, as I followed the line of his masculine jaw.

"I know," he gasped and closed his eyes.

"Does it hurt… the change, I mean?"

"No, normally not. But, it hurt like shit when I changed last time due to the injury, so it probably will again. Maybe if you loosen the bandage a little it might not restrain me."

"Sure." I helped Jasper to a sitting position, and he leaned toward my chest for balance. Intoxicated, I indulged myself in his delicious fragrance one more time. I'd better hold my breath during the procedure I was about to perform. My fingers moved swiftly over the bandages, loosening the tape on his shoulder. Each layer removed, revealed the bruised and heated skin of his otherwise flawless torso. Finally, I put the bloody bandage aside, and gently guided Jasper back to the pillows behind his head.

"See you in a little while, sweet Jasper," I softly said, seconds before the changing began.

I had seen my share of werewolf movies, but their transitions had nothing to do with the way Jasper transformed. The first change I noticed was his skin; it slowly turned into a golden fur and soon after his whole body changed into the shape of a feline. It barely took seconds. It was only due to my vampire sight that I was capable of following it. A normal human being wouldn't notice the transformation itself. For them, he'd be a man and the second after a full-grown mountain lion.

It was one of the most beautiful things I had ever witnessed.

Instead of the incredibly sexy Jasper wrapped in a damp sheet, a predator now occupied the bed of our guest room.

I bandaged the lion's broken shoulder the best I could but figured Carlisle had better do it properly… in a little while. Right now, I wanted to have a private moment with Jasper's other form.

He purred when I stroked him from his head, along his spine to his powerful tail with the palm of my hand. "You like that don't you," I chuckled as I continuously stroked him.

"I think we need to find a name for your alter ego. How does Jay sound, huh? You need all the rest you can get. I will ask Carlisle to look at you. You can trust him completely; he knows how important you are to me."

Jay lifted his head and licked the palm of my hand in what I took as an acceptance. The roughness of his tongue would have peeled off my skin if I were not a vampire.

…oOo…

I found Carlisle downstairs in the kitchen with Esme, who was cooking food for an entire army.  
"How's he doing, Edward – did the fever break and is he awake?" Carlisle asked when he heard me approaching.

"Yes, I managed to break his fever with my own body temperature. He also woke, but we hardly talked. Um… he sort of shifted back to the feline form." My statement sounded more like a question. Probably because I still found it hard to believe, Jasper was a shifter.

Esme turned around from the pots and pans on the kitchen stove, "He what? Oh no. Why did he do that?"

"Well, he didn't do it on purpose. Actually, he can't control his shifting. He changes along with the rhythm of the sun. When it's up, he is the mountain lion. When it goes down, he becomes the man. Depending on the season, the time he is human varies."

"Oh. I have never heard of such circumstances before. Did he tell you more?" Carlisle enthusiastically enquired. Once a science lover, always a science lover.

"No. We only had a few minutes before he changed. Fortunately, it is October, so the sun will go down in about eleven hours. By the way, I need you to make sure the bandage fits his current form, Carlisle."

"Sure. I will meet you upstairs in a few. I don't think he'll be hungry for all the food Esme is preparing then? He'll probably want some raw meat instead when he awakes."

"When Jasper is human, I think he might be a vegetarian…" I divulged, "The raw food diet. You know - raw vegetables and fruits."

"Oh, dear!" The bundle of spaghetti in Esme's hand dropped to the kitchen floor like Mikado Sticks.

Carlisle chuckled and hinted to all the food on the kitchen table and stove, "Well, maybe Charlie Swan would like to have his freezer stocked, honey. He hasn't had a decent homemade meal in years. Not since Renée left, anyway."

…oOo…

Carlisle tended to Jay's bandage, and they got along splendidly. I couldn't help but wonder; would it be possible for Jasper and me to have a relationship in the future? It would be the first of its kind, if we succeed, I believed. Patiently, I had to wait until he shifted back to his human form, so I'd be able to ask him all the millions of questions I had.

Before Carlisle left for a short trip to the hospital, stocking our supply with bandages and sedatives, he helped me move Jay. We placed him on a thick quilt in front of the lit fireplace in my room. His new nursing bed seemed to suit him well. He started licking his paws and within minutes, he was sound asleep. I wouldn't disturb him. I needed him to get all the sleep he could get in that form, so when Jasper materialized, _he_ would be rested.

Impatiently and feeling restless, I logged on to my computer and typed 'shapeshifters' into my favorite search engine. I got various results, but a page mentioning Native Americans and their capability to change into wolves, caught my attention. I bookmarked the page after I had read it, as I wanted to ask Carlisle about a few facts when he returned.

…oOo…

Reclined in a lounge chair next to the fireplace, I looked at the wet and green scenery outside my floor-to-ceiling windows. The October rain reminded me: we had passed autumnal equinox - meaning daylight gave way to dusk and nighttime. Still, the nine hours before Jasper would be back, was a long wait. Jay was asleep on the quilt, and I made sure he had a fresh bowl of water, should he wake up.

His feline scent lingered in my room, and where the smell of mountain lions prior made me want to hunt and kill, it now calmed me. Undoubtedly, had I a pounding heart, it would beat synchronal with his. That's how connected I was to this individual, resting at my feet. I could hear the blood pumping through his body, but I no longer had the urge to drink from him. All that mattered was the need to make sure he was safe and getting better.

Inspiration came to me, and I played a few melodies on the piano and read some chapters in a novel, but most of the time, I watched Jay sleep. Carlisle was right, I had found my mate – of that I was sure; why else would our paths have crossed in unprecedented ways like these?

I thought about the dynamics of our budding relationship. How would it work, when half the time – sometimes less, sometimes more, depending on the season – Jasper was in his feline form? I couldn't wait for him to shift and let me in on all the specifics regarding his situation. Moving to and living in places where they had polar twilight, in order for Jasper to stay human, as many hours as possible, would be on the plus side. However, I would settle for minutes in the company of Jasper if that were all I was granted.

Yet, I did not know for sure if it _was_ possible for him to skip shifting cycles, _or_ if he even wanted to share his life with me.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

Finally... the boys are back together. I hope you are pleased.

We'll learn more about Jasper's situation in the chapters to come.


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N**

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related. I just turn things upside down.

My thanks go to the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli. My pre-reader, beta, but more importantly mentor.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter 10**

Ancient books, manuscripts, and papyrus rolls lay scattered on the big wooden table in Carlisle's library. On his laptop, we'd typed many criteria into the search engine which found a myriad of websites on the subject shapeshifters. Still, finding information regarding Jasper's case turned out to be harder than anticipated. Carlisle had even called his old friends in Ireland and Brazil, but they were none the wiser about Jasper's particular situation.

Being a physician, Carlisle was intrigued with the case and promised me he wouldn't give up until he'd found more information related to Jasper's physique. He had already analyzed some of Jasper's blood from the used bandages and said he'd never seen anything like it before. It was a good thing Jasper hadn't been in need of a blood transfusion, as his blood varied from ordinary human blood types.

Discouraged, I wondered if Jasper's specific blood type would make him immune to my venom if ever we were to change him into one of us. One, was it possible to turn a full-time animal or a shifter into a vampire? I had never heard of it. Two, would he even consent if he was presented with the choice? I sincerely hoped he would. I figured his unique blood combination of human and feline cells, was the reason why he smelled different from any man I'd ever come across. A perfect blend of my two favorite scents.

…oOo…

Twilight emerged, and I went back to my room, longing for Jay's change. I found him curled up on the quilt in front of the fireplace. He looked sweet and peaceful and far from a predator. Sitting at my piano, I played the lullaby I had composed while watching him earlier.

The soft music awoke him. I angled my head and gazed his way. He yawned big time, exposing pink gums and sharp teeth. He sent me a lazy stare and began grooming his paws and whiskers; while his luxuriant tail slapped the floor in rhythm with the music, I continued playing.

Restless for Jay to shift to Jasper, I turned my head every minute, staring his way - hoping for signs telling me his transformation was about to begin. I missed the talk and interaction we'd had as men on our night at Sam's bar. I needed to show him how devoted I was and longed to see whether the feeling was mutual.

When darkness finally conquered, I heard faint whimpers and the ripping of bandages from Jay's resting area. I'd forgotten to loosen his bandage, and now it was too late. I was impatient and anxious, and wanted to turn around and watch, but figured Jasper might not want me to see his naked human form yet. Therefore, I played the piano until I felt his warm hand on my shoulder.

My skilled fingers remained on the keys as heat from his body, and his delicious scent embraced me. I needed a few seconds to collect myself before I took him all in. His hand moved to my neck, and he guided my head in his direction. "Hi." His voice, hoarse from sleep, greeted me.

"Hi," I whispered, and smiled. My eyes met his blue ones, but soon found distraction. He was dressed only in the pair of sweat pants I had placed on a chair next to the fireplace while he slept. His torso was naked and a fine line of golden hair, leading downward, gleamed in the fire. I tried to stay focused and noticed the bundle of clothes in his sound arm.

"Think I might need a helping hand." He smiled crookedly and gestured to the sleeveless t-shirt, socks and a hoodie to complete his outfit.

Of course, he needed help getting dressed. What was I thinking? I rose from the piano bench, took the clothes from his hand, and placed it on top of the piano. Having paid attention while Carlisle bandaged Jasper's shoulder, I went for the fresh bandages and told Jasper to sit on the bench. Carefully, I began taping his shoulder. The heat from his breath hit my working hands, and I wondered what it would feel like on other parts of my body – much more intimate parts of my body.

Once Jasper's shoulder was bandaged, I checked my work to make sure Carlisle wouldn't find fault. I'd always been a conscientious student, and was willing to learn all that would enable me to have physical contact with Jasper. One arm at the time, we achieved to dress him in the t-shirt and hoodie. The socks, I managed single-handed. Carefully, I guided Jasper's arm into the sling Carlisle had placed, along with some painkillers, on my desk.

Being this close to, and taking care of Jasper, was heaven! I might have permitted myself to indulge in his manly scent during the act of nursing and dressing. Several parts of my body tingled from the contact with his naked warm skin, and his musky fragrance made a particular body part of mine stir. I hoped he didn't notice the growing bulge in my pants.

"It's been a while since I shaved and washed myself, I hope you don't mind?" Jasper interrupted my thoughts and combed his fingers through his slightly greasy hair. He looked somewhat embarrassed when the body inspection led him to his dirty fingernails. "Maybe I could take a shower before I shift? The shave can wait."

"Of course. But you don't smell bad. Not to me anyway." If only he knew how highly I treasured his scent… even more so when he didn't smell of soap and cologne. Pure and concentrated Jasper. Though, I would have preferred not having his unique bouquet disturbed by the stench of the antiseptic Carlisle had used, to clean his injuries.

And the stubble? The five o'clock shadow he could keep… it suited him well.

…oOo…

While Jasper went to the bathroom to take care of human business, I added a few logs to the burning fire. Upon his return, we eased onto my couch, where Jasper ate some fresh fruit. I handed him a couple of painkillers, and he downed three glasses of water along with them. Being this close to him - without touching him, was excruciating. Slowly, I inched my fingertips closer to his hand. My mind and body relaxed when I felt his warm, soft fingers willingly, interweaving with mine.

"I'm sorry I missed our first date, Edward. Believe me I would have been there if I could. Now you know why I didn't show at Sam's that evening. I didn't stand you up, and I hope you'll let me take you on a proper date when I'm well enough." Jasper looked apologetic, sad and hopeful all at once, and I couldn't keep him in his misery for long.

I gave him a warm smile. "I'd like that. A real date. Now, tell me, what happened in the forest? I rarely find felines trapped."

"Well, I went hunting the morning after our little chat at Sam's, and I must have overlooked the leaf-covered trap. I tried to get up, but the walls were too slippery and with the broken shoulder, I couldn't escape my entrapment in either form. I'm glad you found me the morning after. Maybe you were meant to?"

Coincidence was no longer a part of Jasper's and my story. I had endorsed our destiny, and Jasper seemed willing to accept it too.

"I don't know what this is, Edward," he said and pointed at us, "But I have never experienced anything like it. From the first time, I saw you in the forest weeks ago 'til the evening I noticed you at Sam's bar… I've … I've been drawn to you."

I was puzzled. I had only known about Jasper's existence for a week, and couldn't wait for him to elaborate. "Weeks ago?"

"Yes. I saw you hunting alongside Carlisle last month. I was in my other form; resting on a branch after a kill while the two of you chased a deer. In my feline form, I didn't know what to think of the pull I felt toward a creature like you. My internal alarm bells should have rung. Instead of being repelled by you and what you are, I was enticed watching you. Every sense I had was guiding me in your direction. I hoped to encounter you in another hunt but was anxious as well. Would we end up fighting, perhaps even kill one another? I had almost given up ever seeing you again when I noticed you at Sam's bar weeks later. Instantly, I recognized you from the forest, and I knew you were different - probably even dangerous for me as human. But, I knew I had to meet you… get to know you. I returned over several nights, hoping you'd approach me, but you always hid in the back." He chuckled. "I wonder why? You don't come across like the shy and insecure guy."

"No, I'm not, however you intrigued me," I replied. I needn't explain my identity any further; Jasper had already witnessed what I was, and somehow accepted it. "Being a _vampire_ has its advantages… and disadvantages. First, I didn't know if you were gay. Second, I feared you'd reject me if I approached you, and you'd realize I wasn't human. Not being able to read your mind and know what you were thinking; if you'd be interested, drew me crazy and-"

"Wait a minute," Jasper interrupted, sounding astonished. "Read my mind?"

"Yeah. I haven't come across a mind I couldn't read - until yours." I held his startled stare, hoping he wouldn't find me too freaky.

"Wow. Is there something wrong with me?"

The oddness of our circumstances suddenly hit us, and we laughed aloud until Jasper cringed and coughed as his injured shoulder ached.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

See you on Sunday.

If you're looking for other J&E stories, I'd like to recommend the brand new "The Fallen". You'll find it in my favorites along with other great stories.


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N**

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

Here's a long chapter for you.

The wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli helped me make the emotions and logistics better in this chapter.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter 11**

A soft knock on my door announced Carlisle and Esme's presence. Carlisle examined my taping-finesse and had a conversation with Jasper about his health, while Esme arranged a pot of hot tea, and neatly cut vegetable sticks on a plate. She was humming quietly, and I could tell she enjoyed pampering my friend, my man. Jasper was in for the big treat, as she rarely had the chance of testing her motherly and domestic skills on another person.

They left, and Jasper served a cup of steaming tea. He looked confused when he noticed the single cup on the table in front of us. Surprisingly, the hot brew smelled nice - still it didn't tempt me. Wryly I told Jasper I hardly _drank_ anything, and he nodded knowingly. Since Jasper couldn't join me in a glass of whiskey while he was medicated, I renounced my urge for the golden liquor; the only fluid I drank, beside blood.

My couch was large and soft – big enough for the both of us to sit comfortably. Even though I never needed a blanket to warm my bones, Esme had thrown a beautifully woven one on the armrest to match the interior of my masculine room. Esme's taste was impeccable when it came to colors and materials. My room was warm, welcoming and matched nature's own materials and coloring. She'd managed to blend the dark antique furniture and golden colors with black & white art photographs and raw steel shelves for my books, advanced TV & sound system, and record collection. When Jasper shivered, I wrapped the autumn-colored wool around him, making sure the weight didn't feel uncomfortable against his injured arm.

"Jasper, if you feel like talking, I'd very much like to hear your story." Curiosity and uncertainty were nagging me. I wanted to know about his unusual life. I also hoped his story would give me some hints for further investigation regarding his ability to stay human, or better still – become my true mate.

Jasper savored his tea, then placed his empty cup on the table, and awkwardly readjusted his position under the blanket to face me. He closed his eyes briefly as if he composed himself, and with a low and serious voice, he narrated the story of his life.

" _It was a hot summer. My twin and I had turned seven when our parents took us on a trip. Usually, we rented a cabin by a lake for our summer vacation, but that year we rented canoes. I shared the canoe with my mother, and my sister sat by our father. We were all having fun. Neither of us knew it would be the last time we'd all be together. The last time they'd all be alive."_

Jasper sighed, and sadness covered his face, but he went on.

" _Of course my parents had studied a map of the area; however they'd missed the sign for the advancing danger. Ahead of us, a waterfall roared, but it was too late for us to act upon our newfound fact. Before we could even paddle ashore, a fast stream had taken control of our canoes. They turned over, and we all fell into the whirling water."_

He paused, and I gently squeezed his hand.

" _When I finally managed to drag myself ashore, I collapsed. I wanted to swim back into the river and look for my parents, but most of all I wanted to find and save my sister. But I couldn't. The struggle had taken all my energy. Edward, I swear to you, I tried to get up. I lost count of my attempts to rise and look for her, but every time I moved my stomach lurched and my arms shook, and I'd find myself back on the ground. I managed to make it back to the water's edge before I passed out. In the end, all I could do was hoping she and my parents had made it. Hoped that if they did, they'd come looking for me._

 _It was dark when I came too. I was cold, scared and hungry. I walked along the river, calling for my family. Hours later, there was still no sign of them. Then I thought they might have tried to make it back to the holiday center where we rented the canoes. So, I started through the forest, in what I hoped was the right direction for the lodge._

 _Soon, it appeared someone was watching and following me. I wondered if it was my family approaching, and stopped. But all I heard was the ruffle of leaves and a deep growl. Even though I was frightened of what I might discover, I looked back over my shoulder. Between the lush bushes, I caught signs of movement and glimpses of golden fur. Before I had the chance to run or even cry out for help, a powerful animal, tackled me to the ground. All I noticed were two big green eyes and then the excruciating pain when the beast scratched and bit me."_

Jasper writhed on the couch and removed the blanket. With great effort, he lowered the sweat pants single handed and revealed faded scars covering his left hip. I wished I could take his pain away and turn back the time, so all this unpleasantness hadn't happened to him.

" _Then I passed out. I had no recollection of how I ended in a bed, taken care of by an elderly, generous couple. The woman, Maria, dabbed my feverish forehead and the man, Peter, tended my wounds."_

"Not unlike your kind family." Jasper smiled and continued with his story.

" _Over and over I asked my rescuers about my family, only to be ignored. The only constant was the concern on their faces – that never left. I slept for days and a week later, they told me the dreaded news. Both my parents had drowned, and there was no sign of my beloved sister. I tried to remain positive. With no evidence, to the contrary I hoped she'd survived the accident and that somewhere, someone was taking care of her too._

 _Peter and Charlotte Whitlock cared for me like I was their own son, and if it hadn't been for their kindness, I would have died. During the following weeks, my wound mended, and all I wanted to do was search for my sister. However, another obstacle appeared. I was changing. It started gradually… small signs, but within a week after the first signs, I shifted into my other form during the daytime. Every morning and every night, I transformed. By then I knew, my attacker had been a mountain lion."_

Jasper stopped and addressed me directly. "I was only seven years old, so naturally this new situation was overwhelming and confusing. I'd read fairy tales and seen horror movies with creatures out of this world, and how they were treated and regarded by humans. Turning into _this_ predatorily beast every day, was frightful and unimaginable."

I nodded compassionately. At least I had been a man when I was turned, and granted with a new family. A family with whom I could take guidance from; who were in the same situation. Jasper had not been that fortunate

"If Peter and Charlotte hadn't cared for me, I'd probably have gone insane or completely wild. In order to reassure me, I wasn't a beast or a freak, they told me about some of the strange phenomena, they'd heard of or come across during their years, living in the forest. Apparently, the forests surrounding Forks are out of the ordinary when it comes to housing unlikely creatures."

Jasper's voice became more cheerful. "Whenever Peter and Charlotte referred to tales of the cold ones; they probably meant your family or your kind at least."

"Possibly. We used to live here decades ago," I consented and encouraged him to carry on.

" _Okay… Um, weeks turned into months, and suddenly I'd stayed with the loving couple for more than a year. They fed me, schooled me and taught me how to cope with my new situation, but most importantly – they loved me and gave me their family name._

 _I found the company with others of my own age among some Native boys living close by. Harry and Billy became my best friends even though we only met after the sun went down. One night, when we were camping, something strange happened to Billy. All of a sudden, he turned into a wolf. Harry nearly pissed himself - I was enthralled. Finally, I had found a true friend, an equal. A few nights later, the same thing happened to Harry._

 _Billy's grandfather, Ephraim, told us the tales of their tribe, and the cause of his grandson and friend's sudden change. However, the Quileutes had never heard of a daily shifter like me. Ephraim asked relatives all over the continent but never came across someone with my character."_

"Did you know, the Quileutes are descended from the first Native Americans and are some of the oldest shifters known to men? Even _they_ control their shifts; apparently, not the first time they change and discover what they truly are, like the camping episode. That actually has something to do with your kind."

During my own research, I had come across similar facts. However, the sound of Jasper's melodic voice was becoming my new favorite kind of heroin, only surpassed by his fragrance. Therefore, I appeared astonished and added, "Really?"

"The old Quileute legends, tell about how vampires killed an entire tribe, except for one boy, who hid in a canoe by the river. The boy swore vengeance for all his lost kind and the desire to avenge grew inside him. Finally, when he was a young man, he came across a new gang of vampire travelers. He pursued them, and one day, given his continued proximity to them, the spirits intervened and changed him into a lethal weapon against vampires - a wolf. Ever since that day, whenever Quileutes feel threatened or find themselves surrounded by vampires, their genes turn them into shifters. _Your_ family has caused quite a few turns among the Quileute boys. Even though you don't intend to harm them or humans, their changes are unavoidable."

Jasper stayed quiet for a while, pondering and sipping a fresh cup of tea. He placed the cup on the table in front of us and reached for my hand. Our entwined fingers danced a little dance. "I've never found the reason as to why _I_ shift. Am I the carrier of a special gene, tricked by a bite from the mountain lion? _Or_ , was the lion the special one? I don't think I'll ever know the reason for my condition," Jasper sighed.

I told Jasper about the research Carlisle, and I had already conducted during his brief stay. And how his unique case remained an enigma to us all. Subsequently, I let Jasper in on some of the encounters my family, and I had had with the Quileutes and nomad vampires, traveling through our territories. I also presented Jasper with Carlisle and Sam's renewed arrangement of truce.

Jasper nodded. "Way back, Billy told me about a truce the tribe had with a coven of vampires. Little did I know it involved you and your family. That reminds me - can I borrow a phone? I need to inform Sam I'm alright. He's probably anxious about my whereabouts."

"Sure." I knew he was right. Sam had looked every bit as worried as I'd felt when I visited the bar more than thirty hours ago. It was probably only a matter of time before we'd find him and his pack at our doorstep -demanding an answer to our involvement in Jasper's recent absence. Therefore, I handed him my mobile phone. Jasper dialed Sam's number and let the phone ring for a while, but no one picked up. Awkwardly, he started typing with his sound hand but lost control of the device. Instead, he returned it to me and dictated a short not-to-worry-message for his friend.

"At least they know I'm alright. But I'd better make an appearance soon, or they'll presume I'm fraternizing with the enemy or worse." He sent me a playful smile. I knew _he_ didn't consider me his enemy, but he was probably right about his friends. One thing was fraternizing; turning their friend into one of us was truce breaking.

"Okay… I'll go back to the days of my youth then."

" _Peter and Charlotte educated me from home. They focused on reading and writing as I showed interest and had potential, even at a young age. I read Shakespeare, Homer, Dickens, and Tolkien and used my rather vivid imagination and surreal surroundings to create my own stories and alternate universes. Harry and Billy taught me math and botany, and I learned about geography and history from all the books Peter bought or borrowed from the public library. At the end of every home-taught semester, Charlotte turned our dining room into a private exam room, and from home, she made me take similar tests as my contemporaries."_

He paused and reflected; happy memories seemed to brighten his face.

"I owe Peter and Charlotte more than my life. My love for literature and writing came from their encouragement and enthusiasm for me to learn. They made it possible for me to have a livelihood and a steady income in spite of my erratic nature. Obviously, I never went to high school or the university, but over the years, I've taken some distance education courses in narrative writing and characterization. I don't have a fancy degree or any papers to prove my credibility as a writer… I'm self-educated."

Jasper turned his head and nodded toward the grand piano in my room. "Are you self-taught or did you have piano lessons growing up?"

I had only a few faint memories of my childhood and my parents but knew music had always played a central role in my life. "I took lessons as a kid, but I had a very strict and conservative teacher. He consistently made me practice Beethoven and Schubert. I preferred the lighter touch of Mozart… and later Ragtime, of course. I actually drove poor Mr. Banner nuts with the syncopated rhythms. Eventually, he resigned. My parents never replaced him, and I played what and how I wanted from that day."

Jasper chuckled and made himself more comfortable. "I had a rebellious period as well."

" _For company and guidance; as a teenager, I went to the tribe's version of 'Shifter's Anonymous'. There, I realized all the attendants were capable of controlling their shifts, but me. The Quileute tribe was like family to me, and I found equality and hospitality among them when my foster parents died._

 _Years went by. Billy and Harry both married girls from a neighboring tribe. Soon kids followed, and not a day passed, where I didn't think of my own sister. During winter times, I often went to the public library late in the afternoons. I searched old newspapers for facts about the drowning accident and updates of her possible whereabouts."_

Jasper paused. "You know… I've never accepted the fact that my sister's dead. Growing up, we were so close, and I've always had this feeling… like she's still alive somewhere."

The story of his lost twin was sad and uncommon. Yet, I could have sworn I'd heard it all before. Sure, it had to be mere coincidence. The version I had repeatedly heard took place sixty years ago. Carlisle and I had researched the drowning incident several times, but we never found any signs of the missing boy.

"Edward, in case, you wonder?" Jasper interrupted my thoughts. "The Whitlocks never told anyone apart from the Quileutes about my survival and existence. Living in a remote part of the forest, made it possible for them to keep me away from social services. Without a doubt, _they'd_ have transferred me to a state-approved foster family or worse - an institution. Probably a traveling freak show, if they'd realized what I truly was."

Losing a family the way Jasper had lost his, was horrible. After all, the Whitlocks sounded like the best family a boy with special needs, could have had. I only wished they were still alive. I'd have liked to thank them for taking care of Jasper, and for turning him into this beautiful person.

"There's only a small part of my story left to tell, are you up for it, or shall we continue another night?"

"No, no please, continue."

" _When I was in my twenties, I decided to leave the place I had come to know as home. Harry knew a small-time crook, and he supplied me with papers and a passport for a considerable amount of money. With my new identity documents in hand, I moved to Scandinavia where I hired a remotely situated cabin. That's when I began to write novels. That's also the time I noticed, I hardly aged anymore."_

One fact about Jasper had played in my mind for days. Now was the opening to ask it. "Jasper, how old are you?"

Slowly, he reached forward and stroked a lock of disheveled hair away from my forehead. "I was born in 1947."

Jesus! He was what, sixty-seven years old! Nothing compared to my own actual 120 years. Nevertheless, I was immortal – he was not. The Harry and Billy from his story were actually _the_ Harry and Billy Carlisle had spoken of over the years. They were grandfathers by now. Of course, the story about his lost sister had my mind working overtime, as his real age had been revealed. Before I'd made any final conclusions, Jasper continued with his story.

"I had to move around a lot… every tenth year or so; in order to keep my lack of aging hidden from neighbors, and the few friends I managed to keep. The inhabitants probably saw me as the odd fellow or even the town freak, in some of the places I lived. Prior to my return to Forks, I lived in Alaska for ten years give or take."

"Why did you return to Forks?" I was thrilled he'd moved back. Though, I was sure I'd have eventually found him in Alaska on one of my hunting trips.

"It was time for me to move along. I'm glad to be back where it all began. I feel at home here. Abroad I stayed in touch with Billy, Harry, and their families. Especially Sam and some of the men from his pack. These days, we sometimes hunt or run together. Apart from the Quileutes, the only other person knowing my real identity is my literary agent. He's about to retire in a year or two, and I have to find a suitable replacement. A person I can trust completely. A person who's willing to keep my identity hidden from the public, but still manage to brand my books."

…oOo…

We talked for hours about his authorship and my life as a composer. Carlisle's investments in land and stocks facilitated me with financial means for all eternity. I didn't need to publish my music – it was only a diversion. Jasper told me, the sales of his books were profitable, but he needed to release a novel every other year to maintain a decent living. I hoped that he wouldn't need to worry himself about financial issues henceforward. I hoped he'd become my mate and share everything with me. Still, I'd ask my own agent if he knew about a trustworthy, literary agent, who'd be willing to represent Jasper.

Jasper encouraged me to tell highlights from my own life. I shared dim memories of a happy childhood and young adulthood with him. Told about the day, Carlisle found me dying of the Spanish flu, in a hospital ward abandoned by all nurses and doctors, but himself. I withheld the part of the actual transformation into a vampire, only mentioning the essentials.

Jasper listened affectionately, absorbing my anecdotes. I could tell he wasn't repulsed or prejudiced by the story or my life - only curious and eager to hear more. Upon his request, I went to the shelf where I stored photo albums. When I'd found the one I was looking for, I smiled as I recalled the night when Carlisle and I broke into my family home. Shortly after my transformation, Carlisle had suggested I might want to have a few personal heirlooms; and with the Masen family all deceased, and no one to claim the artifacts – my home and its interior was put up for auction. On the night of our intrusion, I took a few of my favorite records, my father's pocket watch, my mother's wedding ring, and the family photo albums.

"Wow! You look so handsome." With his sound hand, Jasper turned pages in the lap-placed album, and studied each cardboard picture from my time as a human being, "- and still the same." He moved the tips of his fingers to my captured portrait and caressed my nose and jaw. I quivered with anticipation. More than anything, I wanted to feel the gentle touch of his warm fingers against my _real_ face. "Yet, your eyes seem different. It's hard to tell as these photographs are black and white, but…"

I inched closer to him, pretending to study the photographs as well. "My eyes were green back then. When I'm in need of blood, they turn almost black. I can proudly say they haven't been crimson in decades."

"Crimson?" Jasper sounded astonished; lifted his head and studied my real eyes closely. I could feel the warmth of his rapid breath against my cheeks. He was affected by our close proximity too.

"As newborns, our eyes are crimson. If we stick to human blood, they remain crimson."

"Oh, I see. I like the color they have now. They're like liquid amber." He bit the bottom of his lip, and slowly lifted his palm to my face. Gentle warm fingers caressed my cheek, and I sighed when his thumb brushed my quivering lips. Once his finger was gone, my tongue picked the flavors of cucumber and what I reckoned was Jasper's unique aroma. Before he turned his focus back to the album, he wiped the same thumb over his own lips. I readjusted my pants and moaned.

Jasper scooped closer and leaned his head against my shoulder. The album rested between our laps, and I turned the next pages. A series of photographs of me as a vampire followed. Each year at Thanksgiving, Esme took our portraits and a family photo; the present album was one of many and ended in 1958. Jasper chuckled when he saw the later photographs of a more rebellious looking version of me. Elvis was a big influence on my music as well as my looks.

…oOo…

Before dawn, Jasper went to the bathroom to take the shower he desired. I helped him undress - sans the pants, and removed his bandage. I moved a high stool to the shower stall to keep him steady, and I had placed soap and shampoo within his reach. After the cascading water caressed his body in ways I hoped to in the future, fluffy towels and a plush bathrobe awaited him.

For a creature with no need to shower, I sure knew how to make my own baths luxurious.

I heard the water run and Jasper gasping when it met his injuries. Steam and the fragrance of my soap spread from the bathroom to my bedroom. A part of me was sad, for after the shower, Jasper would smell like me – well like the camouflage, for my come-hither scent. I guessed it was for the best, as it would assist in deflecting my animalistic desires.

He returned from the bathroom minutes later, looking delicious and damn good in my fluffy wraparound. His curls were damp, and his cheeks slightly pink. The view of him stopped me in my tracks as desire surged through my loins. It took every ounce of control not to jump him. His bathrobe didn't quite meet in the middle, leaving a triangle of Jasper's chest exposed. I spotted driblets of water make a slow path from his curls over his muscles. Oh, how I wanted to catch the drops with my tongue before they disappeared to places I could not follow – yet.

The sun was only minutes from rising, and I fought to control myself – this was not the time to start an intimate encounter. Jasper seemed nervous, and I wasn't comfortable with the shifting situation either. Once again, we had to say 'goodbye' or more accurate 'see you later,' a daily situation we'd have to accept and learn to deal with if we ever were to live together.

Jasper went to Jay's quilt in front of the fireplace, and I gave him privacy to shift.

Minutes later, Jay acknowledged me by licking the palm of my hand and I taped his injuries. Afterward, I reclined in my lounge chair, where I spent hours comprehending all the information I now had, about the man I deeply loved.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

Well, there you have it – Jasper's unique story… and some sweet moments. I promise there'll be steaming m/m-action in future chapters. This story is M-rated after all.

Take care and I'll see you on Tuesday.

Tink


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N**

Thank you for reading and commenting.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

I send my love to maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli - my beta-extraordinaire.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter 12**

Music came to me like never before. During the day, I had composed a potential top ten hit and a piano concerto. I hadn't written anything classical in decades; not since my alter ego, Edwin Collins, tragically died during WW2. That was when I discovered swing. Of course, the swing king, Edmund Cole, died the day Elvis appeared on TV and so on.

Jasper was more than my unique brand of heroin - he was my personal muse as well.

I smiled as I collected the pages of fresh hand written notes from the sheet holder on the piano. While I placed them in a portfolio for my scheduled meeting with Jenks, I imagined the way he'd respond to my gift; new compositions – free of royalties – and at his disposal. My present alter ego, Ed Cummings, had scored his final movie and invaded the Billboard Charts for the last time. Henceforward, my alter egos, and I would not release any new material. I'd merely compose for my own amusement and the people I loved.

I had to meet my agent later that week even though it pained me to leave Jay behind. I'd rather cancel our lunch meeting, but I owed Jenks the respect of telling him about my retirement, face to face. He had been supportive, loyal, and efficient during the decades we had worked together. Along with the composed music, I would hand him the biggest check he had ever seen. It covered his salary for the next twenty years. I had never appeared publicly as Ed Cummings, and a portrait had never been released. I figured it couldn't be too hard to fabricate a cover story for my sudden retirement. Illness or perhaps rapid deafness seemed plausible solutions for my final absence from the musical scene.

…oOo…

In the afternoon, I reclined in my lounge chair with a new critically acclaimed novel. Despite the book's dramatic storyline, a far more attention-seeking activity, was watching Jay sleep. His golden fur glowed in the gleam from the fireplace, and the little stirring movements his frame made, told me he was dreaming. I hoped it was a good dream; I hoped he dreamed of me.

The sun was about to set and, Jasper was due to wake. I couldn't wait. I'd missed him, even though he had been right next to me all day. However much I loved finally having a pet; I loved the man more.

I removed Jay's bandage and returned to my chair, where I decided to watch him transform from Jay to Jasper. On previous occasions, I'd given him his privacy, but curiosity and the openness of the previous day made me believe Jasper wouldn't object. That being said, if I got any hint Jasper was discomforted by having me see him naked, I'd turn my face away.

The transformation happened fast, and within seconds, a naked man, my man, appeared in front of the fireplace.

"Hey you." Jasper's voice was hoarse from sleep and maybe the shifting as well. He rose from the quilt and stretched his lean, yet muscular and stark naked body. I could hear the sound of tight knots flexing, and contemplated what a tremendous stress factor the daily changes had to be for his human form. I feigned reading my book, but a mischievous smile appeared on Jasper's beautiful face when he unveiled my charade. I knew I was incapable of blushing or even feel the heat rise to my face; yet, when I watched the sublime specimen in front of me, I _did_ feel my blood pumping faster.

I took my time appraising him. He didn't look like he pumped iron; he looked exquisite, and naturally fit. He was broad with strong shoulders, powerful arms, and defined abdominal muscles. I wanted to look at his most intimate body part, but I directed my glance sideways, instead of following the trail of golden hair down south. All in good time. His hips were narrow, and long, athletic legs ended in beautiful feet.

He held my attention before he finally turned around. I moaned when I watched his shoulder blades and ass cheeks flex, as he lifted a pair of boxers from a pile of clothes. A fresh outfit, I had placed on a chair next to the fireplace while he slept.

There was no need to continue pretending to read when he turned around since I naturally devoured his glorious, naked physique. He held my stare in an 'I-dare-you-competition', and slowly my eyes wandered from his piercing blue ones down south. Down to where the V and happy trail guided me. Down to his privates, that were no longer private.

When I finally rested my eyes on his assets, I gasped. Being a vampire, I had no need for oxygen. But, right there, I was far more than a vampire. I was a man. A lustful, love-struck man. The line of hair had led to slightly darker, trimmed golden curls and pure perfection. Venom pooled inside my mouth, but I managed to control myself. I hoped there would soon come a time when I'd be able to see if his skin and body tasted as divine as he smelled and looked.

He didn't seem intimidated or even shy by the way I'd ogled him. I remained paralyzed in my chair, biting my bottom lip in disappoint as my newfound object of desire suddenly vanished. Awkwardly and with difficulty, Jasper had managed to cover his privates in the white boxer briefs, using only his sound arm. Swiftly, I recalled, he needed a new bandage and was hardly capable of fully dressing himself. I snapped out of my paralytic state and rose from the chair.

His shoulder looked better; the swelling had diminished, and the scratches almost vanished. He healed astoundingly quick - faster than ordinary humans did. I taped him up and helped him with the t-shirt and hoodie. As he pulled the zipper, I noticed how he lowered his nose and inhaled the scent of the fabric. His eyes remained closed for a while before he exhaled deeply. Fuck. I had planned to fetch some of his own clothes from his cabin, but if this was the reaction I was getting when he wore and sniffed _my_ clothes – in here, he'd never be wearing anything but my garments or any clothes at all… if I had my way.

"Do you feel better?" I feared his reply. Undoubtedly, I wanted him to get well; but, would he want to return to his own cabin when he no longer needed medical care? I hoped not. Ideas for different activities besides the obligatory tour around the house had repeatedly employed my mind. Some of them were of a more intimate kind. However, I had to remind myself we hadn't even kissed yet.

"Yes, much better. Thanks to Carlisle, I'm healing faster than I anticipated. And I don't underestimate the part you've played in my recovery either."

"Me?" I was puzzled. Had he just complimented me on my expertise in caring and nursing?

Jasper stroked my cheek. "Yes _you,_ Edward. Don't underrate the effect you have on people."

"Are you hungry, thirsty?" I enquired, trying to move the focus from his remark, even though I was flattered.

"A bit." He grabbed an apple from a fruit bowl and took a big and noisy bite. Juice from the fruit ran down his chin, and instantly pictures of an alternate kind of fluid, occupied my corrupted brain. He gave me a dimpled smile and wiped the wetness away with a thumb. "Large, tasty, and juicy… just the way I like them!"

"Can I ask a favor?" Jasper interrupted the slightly sinful thoughts his latest outburst had painted in my mind.

"Sure. Anything"

He discarded the apple core in a bin and ran the palm of his hand over his chin and jawline. "Will you help me get rid of the stubble?"

…oOo…

Shaving supplies weren't essential in our household, as Carlisle and I hadn't any facial hair. Nevertheless, I knew Carlisle had an old-fashioned straight razor and a shave brush in his bathroom - for appearance sake. Of course, when he initially explained the concept of keeping up appearances, I hadn't believed him since no one visited our home and least of all his private bathroom. Regardless, I was thankful he had the equipment and quickly went to borrow it.

Carrying shaver, brush, and a bar of shaving soap, I returned to my room and found Jasper inspecting my generous music collection. I probably owned one of the largest private collections of recorded music. I hadn't embraced the newer digital formats with the same enthusiasm as I valued the sound of good old vinyl. Beside the 45s and 33s, I had a fine selection of shellac records and audio tapes. The CD collection was random, mainly gifts from Emmett. Personally, I went to any length pursuing vinyl records. My visits to Europe had often been productive. I'd frequented music fairs and auctions in order to complete my authentic collection, with the few missing recordings. Obtaining original Deutsche Grammophon records and first pressings from the sixties' British Invasion, was my main hobby.

The collection covered an entire wall in my room. The system I used to file my collection had always bewildered my family. Whenever they came to my room, determined to borrow a particular single or album, they usually left with something else in their hands. Unless I was there to guide them to the right shelf, they settled with what they stumbled upon – generally a better pick than originally planned. Carlisle and Esme were always eager to examine new genres and composers; naturally, they endorsed my ingenious system. Emmett, a more traditional music listener, stuck to the CD collection he'd given me on various occasions.

Jasper searched the section with my collection of psychedelic rock from the late sixties. He handed me a familiar cover and told me he'd like to listen to it _after_ shaving. He had a point. The music would likely make my hand unsteady, not a good thing to have when handling a blade.

Instead, he placed the cover on the floor and lifted the pickup to the record already on the turntable. Debussy softly filled my room.

"'Clair de Lune'?" Jasper asked, sounding surprised.

I cringed. "Do you find me utterly lame?" Of all the cool and extraordinary music I owned – _this_ was what he'd found me listening to, prior to his arrival.

"Not at all. It's actually one of my favorites. Please don't turn it off while you shave me, I think it has the right air for the procedure."

In my cupboard, I found a small bowl and began lathering the soap for Jasper's shave. I had seen enough b/w-movies, in order to prepare an old-fashioned wet shave – I only hoped my lack of experience with the blade, wouldn't lead to a tragic end, like in some of the gangster movies I'd also watched.

My room lacked a suitable barber stool, so I pointed to the piano bench. Confidently, I lathered his jaw and cheeks with the brush and left the foam for five minutes while I checked the blade was sharp. Jasper was right; 'Clair de Lune' did have a calming effect on me. I told him to lean back, and rest his head against me. Suddenly he was remarkably close to my lower torso and crotch. Nevertheless, I managed to concentrate on my task. Stretching his skin and angling the knife, I passed the blade over his cheek with hardly any pressure at all. I repeated the actions with a steady hand until the froth was almost gone from his face. Finally, I shaved his chin and neck. Oh, what a tantalizing neck.

The trust Jasper had shown, upon letting me shave him with a sharp instrument, was beyond amazing. I dabbed his face with a warm, damp cloth and whipped the reminiscence of lather from his skin. It was one of the most intimate experiences I'd ever had.

Jasper smiled when he touched his smooth chin and jawline. "Thanks. I haven't been this clean-shaven since 1968. After that I had a wild period; beard and long hair, you know?" He laughed and pointed to the psychedelic record cover next to the turntable. I exchanged Debussy with Love's masterpiece 'Forever Changes', a first pressing I was particularly proud of, and the familiar music filled the room.

While we listened to the album and other records, our talk moved to preferences in movies and literature, and back to the music. It was likely our paths had crossed previously, as we had probably attended some of the same concerts in Seattle in the 1990s, and later frequented the same clubs in Alaska. On second thought, maybe not on the same nights. If Jasper had been in the same place as me, I was certain I'd have noticed. His heady fragrance was unique – I was sure I'd have no problem noticing it, even in such a large room no matter the other smells masking it.

Amidst our conversation, I glanced at the clock on the wall and relaxed when I saw we still had a few hours until sunrise. However, a sudden yawn made me realize how tired Jasper actually was. Considering we had connected and talked during the evening and night, I knew it couldn't be my company that bored him. A combination of plain human fatigue and the painkillers Carlisle had authorized, likely wore him out.

Jasper apologized for his exhaustion when I supported him toward the bed. I helped him undress and wrapped the duvet around him; within minutes, he was sound asleep. I watched him sleep from a chair right next to him. With his peaceful features and golden curls, Jasper resembled one of the painted angels I'd often passed in Carlisle's library – not the childish cherubs by Botticelli, but a mature angel; the one with the olive branch by Memling.

When the first beams of sunlight entered my room, I removed the duvet from his human form and loosened his bandage before he shifted.

Another incredible night in the company of human Jasper had passed. One of many more to come. Yet, I saddened when I contemplated; we would probably never get an eternity.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

See you on Friday


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N**

Thank you for all your reviews – they made me update early.

And welcome to the new readers – the statistics tell me you are reading. Thank you.

I enjoyed your questions and here's a few facts for you all:

Jasper only sleeps in his human form when his body is healing from injuries – or when Edward wears him out (still to come.) They are creatures of the night and they'll not spend the nights sleeping.

Jasper still ages, but very slowly. By now, he has the physique of a thirty-year-old. When Edward in the last chapter thought _Yet, I saddened when I contemplated; we would probably never get and eternity_ , he was referring to immortality/vampire eternity.

Some of you have requested a JPOV chapter. I haven't written or planned one. However, I'm open for suggestions and I'll consider adding a JPOV outtake once the story is done.

Regarding venom. I consulted the Twilight companion and applied the same rules to my vamp/feline story.  
When venom from a vampire bite enters the bloodstream of a human, it changes each cell and turns the person into a vampire. However, a werewolf is immune to vampire venom – both as human and wolf. Whether Jasper/Jay is immune - you'll have to wait and see.

...oOo...

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

I send my love to maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli – she rocks my world.

Let's get on with the story, shall we...

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter 13**

Jay spent most of the day resting or grooming on his quilt. Slowly, I was getting used to the alternate rhythm of my life. One part spent with the man I desired - the other with my four-legged friend. In order to pass the time while I longed for Jasper's company, I played the piano and searched the Internet for more information regarding his past. Washington Herald's archive became my primary source, and I'd scanned the online articles covering 1954's tragic drowning episode, repeatedly. All my previous doubts was gone; surely, Jasper was the alleged 'little boy lost.'

Around noon, FedEx had delivered a copy of Jasper's latest book - the one I'd started reading in his cabin, and later ordered from Amazon. I was halfway through the fascinating story he'd written when he joined me on the couch. Honorable knights, sword fights, dragons, and dark forces were the main ingredients. I could easily see what the fuss on his fan pages was all about, and I endorsed the hype as well. The noble first knight, Laurant, was by far my favorite character.

We discussed the theme and main characters of Jasper's novel while he snacked on the vegetable plate, Esme served him a while ago. I liked the way Jasper had placed a controversial gay love story in the middle of a male-favored universe of brave ancient heroes. It probably took a gay man to realize all the back-patting between the fictitious knight and his king was a charade for actually courting and more.

Jasper reached for another carrot and acknowledged, "You're actually one of few noticing there's more than loyal friendship between James and Laurant. Most readers think Laurant secretly longs for Queen Victoria, but it's really her husband, James, he lusts for."

…oOo…

Jasper had been our patient and guest for three nights. Apart from the basement where we first brought him, he had only seen the guestroom where he spent the first night, and my room and bathroom. He was feeling better, and it was about time to take him on the grand tour of the preferred home of the Cullen clan.

The house was situated deep in the forest, away from main roads and prying people. The small clearing and surrounding forest had been in Carlisle's possession for almost ninety years. Our present home was built ten years ago when we'd returned to Forks and tore the original, shabby and desolated house down. The building materials were glass and cedar, and the style modern and open, yet warm and personal. Esme oversaw the architectural plans, and she had been in charge of the interior designs. Besides an exquisite collection of modern designer furniture - antiques, paintings from different centuries, and books made it homey. The core of the house was the huge living room overlooking a private lake; a lake Carlisle invited Charlie Swan to fish from whenever he wanted to. We had a big industrial kitchen – which we hardly used, plenty of bedrooms and bathrooms, the library, a fitness room, home cinema, garages, and the basement.

Our tour around the house began upstairs with the bedrooms next to mine. I aired the news about Emmett's forthcoming visit when we entered my brother and sister in law's love shag. I hadn't told Jasper much about my brother, but thought I'd better prepare him for the man he would soon meet. Emmett often seemed intimidating on first introductions, and I still pondered whether I should tell Jasper about the theory I had regarding his lost twin.

On our way down the stairs to the living room and kitchen area, Jasper noticed all the framed and displayed diplomas, gold records, and statuettes; all proofs of my family's contributions to design, medicine, and music.

"Edward… Um… are these Oscars, as in _real_ Oscars?" Jasper looked amazed and pointed toward the line of golden 13½-inch sized men in a wall hung glass cabinet.

I nodded. I knew the golden statuette was supposed to mean a lot to the receiver. However, they never meant that much to me. Maybe because I'd never received the recognition that came with the actual reward, as I'd always sent my present doppelganger to the award shows.

"Who's Edmund Cole, Eddie Cutter, and Elijah Cohen?" Jasper studied the nameplates of the statuettes with a perplexed look on his face.

I smiled. "They're my alter egos. As you have yours, J.W," I teased.

"You know about my pseudonyms besides Whitman?"

"I have a confession to make. I've actually been at your house. I followed you back to your cabin on the second night I saw you – just to make sure you arrived home safely," I calmed him, as he looked bewildered. "The night you didn't turn up for our planned date, I started to worry. I drove to your place, used the old card trick, and entered your cabin. I was afraid something terrible had happened to you, and I wanted to ensure you didn't lay wounded or helpless inside your home. While I was there, I noticed all the books and especially the shelves with all the fantasy series. Back home, I googled the authors, curious to see if there was any relation between them. Connecting the dots was a time-consuming task, but I guessed you were the author behind them all. I must say either your PR agent sucks, or you really want to go unnoticed."

"I guess you already know the answer." Jasper smiled and studied the framed diplomas, some of them faded with age. Excitedly, I elaborated the story behind one of Carlisle's certificates. I'd always admired the urge Carlisle had to make the world a better place and his need to perform medical research.

"You love your family, don't you?"

"With all my heart… or… whatever. Yes, I love them. More than anything." I managed to stop myself before I added the 'besides you'-part. I wanted to say it. I had such an ache inside me, such a yearning for Jasper to be my lover, my mate, my everything. However, it wasn't the right time and certainly not the right place to declare my love and intentions.

Jasper, standing a few steps below me, somehow sensed my hesitation and remained silent. Not once did he take his eyes off mine as he slowly, surely made his way closer to me. On the same step, only half an arm's length away the air between us was palpable. I felt almost human, with the need to breath deeper and I was sure I could feel my heart beating. Jasper inhaled sharply and moved even closer. It was as if I was caught in his heady spell, unable to move. He dragged his thumb along the left side of my cheek, and as it moved lower to my jawline, I felt a tingle in its wake. Warmth from his light touch, sent jolts down my spine, and I was anxiously excited for what I hoped beyond all hope, was about to happen. His hooded eyes searched mine while he parted his lips. It was only a matter of nanoseconds before...

"Edward? Esme has prepared some nutritious… oh, sorry guys."

 _Damn!_

Jasper looked as dissatisfied and frustrated as I felt when Carlisle made himself known below. The man of my dreams exhaled deeply and whispered, "Later." Silently but grinning, we walked down the stairs hand in hand. I hoped the opportunity to share our first kiss would make itself possible later that night. Carlisle greeted us, and the two of them talked about Jasper's injuries before I guided us all to the kitchen. Jasper looked around and raised an approving eyebrow. He probably wondered why a family without the need for food had such a well-equipped room.

Esme was preparing a colorful fruit salad and blending something green for Jasper when we approached her. "I know you're on a special diet Jasper, but please tell me if there's anything in particular you'd like." Esme enthusiastically handed him a glass, and I wrinkled my nose when I got a sniff of the odd-looking substance she called a smoothie. Jasper seemed to like his drink, and who was I to judge? I doubted he found my kind of diet mouthwatering, even though he was a carnivore himself half the time.

I showed Jasper the rest of the house, even the basement where Carlisle had saved his life a few days back. When we entered the garage, Jasper whistled. "Wow. Nice rides!" Jasper pointed to the small car park in front of us. Besides the Volvo and BMW, the garage held three more cars. A red Ferrari, a silver Porsche, and a baby blue Aston Martin.

"I don't recall having seen any of these three babies on the roads around here," Jasper cooed as he ran his hand down the hood of the Ferrari. I wondered what a stroke similar to that would feel like on the backside of my body.

"Nah… we hardly ever ride them. Once or twice, a year we have them transported to a remote place in Canada for a private race. If my brother is here long enough, maybe we could go, and you could join us?"

"I'd like that. However, I'm not so sure _Jay_ would fit inside these cars," Jasper reflected.

"Neither am I. How fortunate for you - we generally race at night." Emmett and I hadn't taken the cars for a spin in ages; maybe it was time to burn some rubber north of the border. Briefly, I saw glimpses of Jasper and me celebrating the victory with passionate love making on the rear seat of my vintage Aston.

…oOo…

We left the basement, and with great enthusiasm, Jasper studied shelf upon shelf in Carlisle's well-equipped library.

"Jasper, I have a lunch meeting with my agent in Seattle tomorrow. I'd rather not go, but I have important news to deliver, and I'll return as soon as I can. Esme and Carlisle will stay at home if you need anything."

Jasper beamed when he turned from his newfound literary haven toward me. He looked like a little boy in a candy store, and I wasn't sure if he'd heard me.

"Sure. I'll be fine. I think I need one more day before I'm ready to return hunting," Jasper stated and moved his fingers from a book cover to his bandaged shoulder.

Jasper was right – he was almost fit to return to his predatory element, and Carlisle had advised him to exercise his arm and shoulder. Jasper's ability to heal faster than any normal human being and appear younger than his actual age gave me hope. He wasn't as fragile as I'd come to fear, and presumably he'd live longer than the average man.

"I'd like you to stay here, but I fully understand if you want to return to your own cabin now that you're healing." _Please stay. Please stay. Please stay._ I hadn't been that expectant since the day Emmett was turned. Carlisle and Esme had saved Em from a grizzly bear's deathly attack in British Columbia an autumn day in 1965. At first, he'd looked like he wasn't going to make it through the transformation, but Carlisle had faith, and on the third day, Emmett awoke. Esme and Carlisle had hoped our new family member would become the mate I'd longed for, but there was no mutual attraction between us whatsoever. Instead, I gained the brother I'd never had in my human life.

Jasper placed his right hand on my shoulder, and his reply calmed me. "Thank you, Edward. I'd love to stay. I need to get a few of my personal belongings from the cabin, though."

…oOo…

Dressed in one of my spare jackets, Jasper followed me to the parked Volvo. I was almost giddy as we drove toward Jasper's cabin to collect items for his stay. Deep down, I hoped it was more than a prolonged visit - I hoped it was permanent! Jasper unlocked his front door, and immediately the stench of wet dog hit my nostrils. No doubt about it - Sam and his pack had been here recently.

Jasper chuckled at my comments about the awful smell lingering to his home. Undoubtedly, the odor clung to the tatty piece of paper lying next to his charging mobile phone - a handwritten note from Sam, urging Jasper to call him back. When Jasper pressed the button to listen to his voicemails, an endless stream of nervous sounding voices bombarded us. Sam's first recorded message was from the morning following Jasper's no-show for our planned date, but prior my investigative visit to the bar. One or two of Jasper's other friends insinuated _I_ probably had something to do with Jasper's sudden absence.

Jasper shrank and cursed himself for worrying his friends, and apologized for their accusations. "I'd better swing by Sam's place on our way back. He and my other Native friends need to _see_ I'm alright. You're welcome to join me, but I can't vouch for them. Being around you might not be their cup of tea right now."

In his bedroom, Jasper found a duffel bag and stuffed it with a variety of clothes, toiletries, a wallet, and other personal looking items. He placed a book, his laptop, and a notebook in a worn messenger bag.

I followed him to the living room, where he picked the book from the chair – the one he was currently reading. "So! I guess your next novel's about vampires?"

"Maybe. I haven't decided yet. Would that be a problem for you?" He placed the book in his messenger bag and dropped it next to the front door.

"No, not if it's fictitious."

In the kitchen, he dumped moldy fruit and sour milk into the trash can, and I took the garbage bag he handed me. Jasper sent me a crooked smile. "I'm a fiction writer, Edward. And who'd even believe me if I said the story was based on real facts. I doubt anyone, but the Quileutes and a few other people around the world even know your kind actually exist." He turned off the lights in his cabin and grabbed his bags.

"Oh, there are quite a few. However, they are sworn to secrecy. They don't mention our existence in order to stay wealthy, powerful, and alive," I replied, with a solemn voice.

"You make your kind sound like the mafia." Jasper laughed as he locked the door, and I got rid of his garbage in the trashcan.

"You're not far from the truth. Not all vampires are like my family and me. We have some friends around the world: a coven in Alaska and some old friends of Carlisle's in Ireland and Brazil. The main contingent of _my kind_ isn't that different from what you imagine vampires to be."

We entered the car and on our way to Sam's bar, Jasper questioned me about my family and the way we chose to live.

"So, you and your family and another vampire coven live on animal blood alone, instead of human blood?"

"Yes. Occasionally, I drank human blood, but I haven't in decades."

"And you can survive on blood from mammals?"

"Yes, we can survive. It satisfies our hunger, but it's not fulfilling if you know what I mean. It wouldn't be like drinking your blood, for instance."

Jasper sighed and stayed quiet for a while. I concentrated on my driving and wondered about the obvious question he probably had; how big a part of me would always crave his blood?

"When you say _my_ blood… do you mean my human blood or my feline blood?" Jasper asked as we reached the parking lot next to Sam's bar.

"Both!" My voice was somber as I parked the car.

"Okay. So the little encounter we had in the woods with the deer… that was you sneaking up on _me_ \- Jay - your next meal?" Jasper turned in his seat, facing me. Even though it was dark inside the car and the parking lot scarcely lit, I could see his puzzled expression.

"No, I was actually going for the deer. However, a more appealing prey turned up." I sent him a wry smile and hoped he'd be able to forgive me. "We all have our favorite prey. Carlisle prefers moose, Esme loves lynx, and Emmett digs grizzly. I favor felines, but often settle with deer."

"No wolves?"

"No. No wolves. Besides their awful stench, Carlisle and the Quileutes made a pact many years ago. We don't kill wolves and they don't interfere with our ways or question the blood-sucked animals in our wake."

"Stench or not, we have to get inside. Before there's no longer a truce between your kinds to withhold, I need Sam to see that I'm alright."

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

Damn it, Carlisle! The boys needed a moment.

Next time they'll make the car windows steamy.

Hit the button below, and let's make it 100 reviews.


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N**

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

Hope all you Americans had a lovely 4th of July weekend.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

My thanks go to the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli. My pre-reader, beta, but more importantly mentor.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter 14**

I noticed the more relaxed and smiling sign of relief on Sam's face the minute Jasper entered the bar, but it faded when he laid his eyes on me. I could tell he'd very much like to lay his hands on me too. Nevertheless, this was a public place - his place - and I doubted he would cause a scene.

Jasper and I took our seats at the bar, and Sam poured whiskey into the glasses he placed on the counter in front of us. "Spill it," he snapped at Jasper. "What's that leechdoing in here?"

"He's with me," Jasper's reply was calm, yet firm. I liked this confident side of him.

Sam and a few of the guest looked suspiciously at us. I reckoned they were pack members as well. Apparently, we had arrived during their midnight snack, and they were all eating steaks like there was no tomorrow. A sense of relief washed over me. At least Jasper was a vegetarian in his human form. Apart from the spinach smoothies, I thought I'd be able to cope with his food intake.

Jasper told Sam the facts about his absence, and his friend asked a few questions along the way.

"We tried to track you down Jasper, but your smell was corrupted by that sickening sweet stench your companion reeks." Sam sent me a disgusted stare. "Your text message was the only thing that stopped us from confronting the Cullens. We actually planned to pay Carlisle a visit later tonight; demanding to know if he or more obvious - that leech - had done anything to you." Sam looked from Jasper to me. I knew very well what he meant by 'done'.

"I'm sorry you were worried, Sam. But there's really no need to be hostile toward Edward or his family. They've taken good care of me." Jasper removed the jacket, lowered the shirt and revealed his bandaged shoulder. "Carlisle taped me up. Esme fed me and Edward has been my friend. I'm actually moving in with the Cullens for a while."

"What?" Sam whisper-shouted and broke the glass he was polishing.

"Yes. They're not going to hurt me. They looked after me. Edward saved me, and I… I need him." Jasper's statement took me by surprise, but my astonished expression was immediately replaced with a triumphant smile. He needed me. Me. As I needed him.

Sam looked at me with his eyes screwed. "If you ever harm Jasper or hurt him - you're _dead,_ Cullen!"

"You have my blessing to kill me if I ever harm or hurt him, even unintentionally," I replied with a steady voice. I suddenly realized I would rather die than hurt, lose or - God forbid - kill Jasper.

"I've always liked and trusted Carlisle; I hope _you_ won't disappoint me, Edward."

"I won't." My voice was filled with sincerity.

Sam topped up our glasses and poured one for himself. "It's good to have you back Jasper; safe and sound. Cheers!"

"Cheers," we joined in. Undoubtedly, Jasper's enthusiasm more prominent than mine was.

…oOo…

"That went surprisingly well." Jasper relaxed against the leather in the Volvo and buckled his seat belt.

I sighed and started the engine. "You think? I could have sworn they all sent evil curses my way."

Jasper remained quiet for a while as we left Port Angeles.

"They are like family to me, Edward. I know their parents and grandparents. They have always been there for me. I hope this liaison with you and your family won't change that. But if I have to choose between them and you, I will choose you. I know it seems reckless and fast-forward since I've only known you for about a week, but I…. I can't explain it. It's like I've been waiting for you all my life. Like you're my, my soul-"

"Mate!" I interrupted and stopped the car right away. I was too excited to stay focused on the road leading us back home. I turned in my seat and gazed at my startled passenger. "Jasper, for every vampire, there's _one_ mate. Carlisle has Esme, Emmett found his love and Carlisle turned her. Ordinarily, we mate with other vampires, but occasionally a vampire finds his or her life-partner among humans."

"Really? So you only experience this mate connection once in your life?" He sounded astonished, yet composed.

"Yes. I searched among my own kind and human beings but never came close in my pursuit for that special someone. I almost accepted the fate of never finding mine."

We sat in silence for a while. More than anything, I wanted to touch him. His scent was so heady when he was excited; it would be easy to lean forward and kiss him. However, I needed him to understand fully and be absolutely sure before he consented. Because, if and once he'd accepted me as his mate, there was no turning back. My hands remained clenched on the steering wheel, and I pondered if I had said too much or maybe not nearly enough?

"Edward," Jasper spoke after what seemed like hours. "Are you telling me _I_ am your mate?"

"Yes, Jasper. I am sure you're my mate. I'm unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you, and I hope you feel somewhat similar," I declared with a barely audible voice.

Instead of replying, Jasper smiled, unbuckled his seatbelt and turned toward me. "Have you ever heard the story about how the Quileutes find their true love?"

I shook my head. I was afraid my voice would resemble disappointment if I spoke. Why did he have to talk about this tribe now? All I wanted to know and ached to hear was whether he returned my feelings.

"It's actually rather beautiful, but for outsiders it might seem strange. Humans call it 'love, at first sight', but this is so much more. No one says love, at first sight, lasts forever. Imprinting does. When a Quileute imprints on a specific girl or woman, he becomes unconditionally bound to her for the rest of his life. He becomes whatever she needs him to be, whether that's a protector or a lover or a friend. I've seen grown men imprinting on girls. Taking the role as protector and friend until love became the next step in their relationship."

Jasper examined me with a look of expectancy, and I tried to make sense of what he'd said.

I could hear his blood pumping fast. Actually, see the tempting fluttering vein on his strained neck. Suddenly I realized; I didn't know for sure if I'd be able to make him my mate the traditional way, and would we even be capable of performing other mate-like things? Make love, for instance. Less than an hour ago I had promised Sam, I'd never hurt Jasper - and I meant it. But would I be strong enough, physically, to keep that promise?

"Edward what I mean to say," Jasper interrupted my galloping thoughts. "I think I have imprinted on you! This isn't just love at first sight - this is so much more. I'm your mate, and you're my imprintee. I'm in love with you too. Edward, I want us to be together, anyway that we can." Jasper reached for my hand, and once I released my clenching fist from the steering wheel, he laced our fingers. The intensity in the car was so thick one could almost cut it with a knife.

Jasper inched closer, looked deep into my eyes and whispered, "And so the lion fell in love with the vamp."

I breathed a sigh of relief and held his gaze. "What a stupid vampire."

"What a sick, masochistic lion." Jasper cupped my face gently in his hands, leaned forward and sealed my lips with a kiss. It was nothing like an awkward first kiss. This kiss was hungry and reflected pure love and desire. Jasper's tongue slipped effortlessly into my mouth. The feeling of his hot wet muscle lapping around, made me want to explore and devour his warm mouth, and other deep hidden places as well. I took control of the kiss, and he moaned contently. He tasted of whiskey, sunshine, promised sex, and human.

Kissing Jasper was beyond any experienced blood rush. Tasting him heightened all of my senses and for the first time since I was turned, I felt truly alive. His seductive scent and flavor made every fiber in my body tingle and every vein quiver with need. Strangely enough, his pulsating blood wasn't what I craved anymore. His rich saliva was like the sweetest aphrodisiac I'd ever yearned for. I believed I could thrive from it and it alone, eternally.

I buried my fingers in his soft curls and dragged him closer. While our tangled tongues struggled for dominance, neither of us noticed the sudden cone of light illuminating the car. It was soon followed by a soft knock on the front window. Oh no - it was Sheriff Swan and his officious assistant, Jacob Black. I rolled down the window while Jasper rearranged himself and gasped for air. "Evening," I mustered to say with a mature attitude even though I felt slightly dizzy from all the kissing.

"You do know you're parked in the middle of the road, Sir," Jacob Black addressed and pointed a flashlight right in my face. I closed my eyes and lowered my head, but when I heard a tiny gasp escaping Jacob's mouth, I realized he knew what I was. The stench of wet dog gave him away immediately. He pointed the flashlight toward Jasper, and nearly stumbled when he discovered the identity of my passenger.

"Jasper… what the fuck man. We thought you were dead." Jacob almost shouted and looked rather perplexed.

"I'm sorry, Jake. I've just been to Sam's explaining everything. I'm alright. I had a minor accident, but the Cullens looked after me for a couple of days, and I'm returning to their home now."

"Really? The Cullens?" Jacob sent me a scrutinizing look, and I caught fragments of his thoughts. He was a rather simple fellow, and I almost chuckled when I saw him picturing Jasper strained to a table, with me and my family drinking his blood from open wounds.

"Okay, you're free to go. But remember, we'll be _watching_ you, Cullen!" I didn't like the way he threatened me, but I assumed he merely cared for his friend. After all, that was an amiable quality.

I rolled up the window, and Jasper and I continued our way back home to Forks. I hoped he considered my home his home as well. At least for now. Maybe we'd be able to get our own place one day.

We small talked during the ride, and I glanced at our resting hands; his warm-blooded fingers and my cold, marble ones laced together. Fables of old suggested opposites attract, and I figured they were right. Apart from the 'attraction-part'. What I felt toward Jasper was so much more than pure attraction. I craved and yearned for this man - his body and soul.

For a second I almost forgot; up until minutes ago, a part of me had lusted for his blood as well.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

A long talk and their first kiss. Hope you liked it. Next time there'll be another first time for the loverboyz. Until then – take care.

Tink


	16. Chapter 15

**A/N**

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

Here's a long chapter for you. Usually lemonade cools you down, but I bet this lemon filled chapter will make you hot, hot, hot.

The wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli helped me make their first time memorable.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter 15**

Esme and Carlisle were playing chess when we entered the living room. We talked with them for some time while Jasper ate fruit and drank water. Carlisle assured me, the clash with Jacob Black and serious discussion I'd had with Sam, was the pack's way of showing they loved and cared for Jasper. He saw no reason to fear a collision or even worse, a fight with the wolves.

I helped Jasper carry his belongings upstairs to the guest room, but he asked if it was okay to bring his stuff to my room instead _._ I sent him a broad smile and showed him to the bureau for his belongings. I had never shared a room with another person before, and I couldn't wait to share everything with Jasper.

Jasper placed clothes in the drawers I'd emptied in advance, toiletries in the bathroom, and his books and laptop next to mine on the writing desk. When he was done, he took a seat on the bed. Our bed. This was definitely our bed, and I wished, we'd be able to christen it soon, and I didn't mean with us sleeping. Not that I ever visited dreamland, but Jasper apparently did whenever he was exhausted.

I sat next to Jasper and leaned back against the headboard while he rearranged a stack of crisp white pillows and made himself comfortable. An ache blossomed inside me – a yearning for him. It was almost torturous, sitting this close to him and not touching him, not knowing what he was thinking. The kiss in the car had been beyond this world and promised more. I turned toward him, and the brilliant blue of his irises met my hungry stare. He placed his hand on my thigh, and I took it. The heat of his skin burned through my fingertips, and spread up my arm and further still until it reached my groin.

I needed to find something to distract me from my wayward thoughts, at least for now, as I wasn't sure whether I'd be able to control myself if we got started. We were still on the first base of our relationship; maybe we needed to take it easy in the beginning. Therefore, I managed to temper my growing desire by concentrating on conversation.

"Jasper, please tell me more about your situation. How does the shifting affect your rhythm of life? Your need for ordinary food, hunting, and sleep?" I babbled but hoped I sounded genuinely interested, as I truly was, and my voice didn't reveal my nervousness.

Jasper took a deep breath and sighed. I was sure his reaction was caused by the direction my diverting question was taking us; but was he alleviated or frustrated? God, I wished I could read his mind. Nevertheless, he angled his head toward me and replied to my questions.

"Okay. I get all the proteins I need from my kills. That's why I mainly eat fruit and salads in my human form. I can eat prepared food; I just can't be bothered to make any. You already know how day and night control my shifts. Depending on where I live on the planet, my sleeping pattern varies. I try to get all the rest I can when I'm feline, as I prefer to be awake when I'm human. I've never found a mate among my four legged kind, and it gets lonely being on your own for decades. That's why I occasionally hunt and play with the wolf pack. At least when I'm in my human form, I can interact with friends, and strangers, of course."

I sighed. All the information he gave, I stored for later use, but the comment about interactions with strangers, made me nervous.

He smiled, squeezed my hand and added, "Don't get me wrong, I rarely let strangers pick me up. You're an exception, Edward."

I relaxed once again.

"As a man, I've never had a serious or long-term relationship." Jasper lifted my hand to his lips, where he sweetly kissed my knuckles and carried on. "The few times I actually fell for a nice man, it never worked out. How do you explain to your boyfriend, you're only available after sunset and before sunrise?" he chuckled.

For a minute, I was glad he wasn't an ordinary human being, but then I realized _I -_ like the potential boyfriends - would only have him for the same limited time. Nighttime.

My relief was suddenly replaced with frustration. I could feel the venom pool inside my mouth. The thought of other men touching Jasper, angered and upset me. Even if the men in his past had never meant anything to him. Finally, I understood the jealousy and protectiveness I knew Carlisle and Emmett dealt with, every time someone hit on their mates or if their women were in actual danger. I never knew.

"Can I ask you some questions now, Edward?"

Jasper's question snapped my attention back to him. "Sure."

"I guess you're not a virgin, but… Um… have you ever had intercourse with a human. I mean is it possible for you?"

"I can assure you it's possible." I smiled and arched an eyebrow, but became more solemn when I elaborated. "It's not always easy to withhold myself when I'm aroused, though. I am stronger than any man is, and sometimes I forget how fragile humans really are. That's why I've never been with a man I actually cared about. I was always afraid I might end up hurting him."

"Oh," Jasper sighed and lowered his otherwise attentive blue stare.

"Yeah!" I groaned.

"I presume you're a top then?" Jasper asked me. Suddenly, the proverbial light lit in my head. I could be on the receiving end instead of the giving end. Truth been told, I had never submitted before… didn't come naturally to me with my desire to be in control. But, what if that was the only way for Jasper and me to be intimate? Would I be willing to surrender my body and my need to be dominant to Jasper? I'd be less inclined to hurt him if he was the one in charge, so to speak.

"Edward?" Jasper sounded worried; apparently, my silence had alarmed him. He had moved around and was now sitting cross-legged next to me with a serious look on his face.

"Yes. I am a top. I have never given myself to another vampire _or_ man. But I want to make love with you more than anything in the world, and I will submit myself to you, Jasper if that's the only way."

I could hear Jasper's rapid heartbeat. My promised words excited him. The thought of being intimate with Jasper, in ways I'd never been with anyone before, aroused me too.

Jasper looked at me, and I saw love and desire portrayed in his eyes. "I am versatile, Edward. I can't wait for you to make love to me, but tonight I'll make love to you."

Tonight! Oh, Jesus, he wanted us to make love tonight. Upon hearing Jasper take me up on my suggestion, I could have sworn my heart started to pump again. My heart wasn't capable of beating, nor my hands sweating, but I was sure I could feel both. Excitement and fear ruled. Excitement at being one with Jasper and fear of venturing into unknown territory. Nevertheless, Jasper needed to comprehend the consequences of our coupling. Since there'd probably be no ritual blood exchange between us, this would be our mating act - the 'I do'-part.

"Are you absolutely sure about this, Jasper? Once a vampire makes love with his potential mate, there's no turning back. We will be bound to one another for eternity."

"Yes, I am sure, Edward. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you… however long that might be."

An eternity wasn't the same as it would have been, had my future mate been a vampire or an ordinary man - capable of being turned. I still needed to have a conversation with Carlisle regarding Jasper's physical age. I already knew he aged slower than ordinary human beings did, but he still aged! Would it be possible, for Carlisle, to turn Jasper into one of us even though he was a shifter? I believed I would not be able to stop drinking if I ever tasted Jasper's blood. Therefore, Carlisle would have to be the one changing him.

The pull of Jasper was overwhelming. I moved toward him as I spoke, my words becoming softer the closer I got. "I want to be with you forever too, Jasper, but right now I want to make love with you, my beautiful mate," I confided and kissed his warm lips.

Jasper straddled my thighs and leaned forward; the weight of his body pressed me further back against the headboard of the bed. First, he kissed my eyelids, then my nose and cheeks before he moved to a sensitive spot below my left ear.

"Fuck, you smell so good," he moaned and licked the underside of my jaw. Turned out, I was sensitive below the right ear as well. When he reached my mouth, he placed warm feather light kisses on my cold lips. A tingling sensation caused by his heat warmed me. His tongue begged for entrance, and I opened to him. Heaven. His addictive taste was pure nectar. Our tongues danced, slow and playfully at first, but the kissing soon became more fervent. He laced his fingers in my hair, and I wrapped my arms around his back, pulling him closer.

"Please, let me undress you, Edward. I want to see you – all of you." Jasper's seductive words against my ear made my not so well hidden erection strain even more against the buttons of my jeans. I was sure my shaft was about to break through – I was willing it to. The heat from Jasper's crotch circling over mine was surely melting the fabric between us.

"I guess some things are harder to hide," Jasper chuckled and kneaded the growing bulge beneath him. I opened my mouth to reply, but no words emerged. Instead, Jasper took my silent words when his open mouth covered mine, and he ground his groin into me even deeper. His inner panther spurred him on with a growl.

Jasper left my lap and encouraged me to lie down. He opened the top button of my jeans and slowly, he removed the hem of my shirt from the waistband. I was about to turn him over and rip his clothes off, when I recalled, this was Jasper – not some random fuck. I used all my strength, remained calm and let him set the pace.

Button by button, he gained access to my bare chest. I was muscular, but not in an Emmett style obscene way. Jasper regarded his find with lustful admiration. "Beautiful, flawless alabaster," he murmured. If possible, one day, I hoped to show him how it sparkled. It was a part of me that I'd reserved for my mate. One of many firsts and only's that would be his.

Jasper seemed mesmerized with my torso. He made himself familiar with my pecs and chiseled six-pack. With the tips of his fingers, he drew slow, excruciating slow, circles around my pebbled nipples, and I swore, the heat from his touch sent shivers down my spine. I'd never experienced anything close to this. It was as if I was suddenly electrified when he sucked and bit my nipple.

I moaned and lifted my hips. I needed some sort of friction for my still growing, but neglected body part.

He smiled when he noticed my desperation, but didn't pay my bulge the attention it craved. A low, frustrated growl rumbled in my throat. Instead, he moved around and slid his hands between my thighs encouraging them apart. Settled between them, he slowly followed the trail of copper-colored hair from my navel to the waistband of my jeans with his sinful tongue. He popped the remaining buttons of my jeans one at a time, and our eyes stayed locked during the agonizing blissful torture. Jasper smiled a sweet sexy smile the second he realized there was no barrier between his fingers and my most intimate flesh. "Commando," he breathed, as he tantalizingly brushed his fingers against me.

More than anything, I wanted to feel the warmth and firmness of his fist around me. Instead, he moved away from my body and indicated for me to remove my shirt. I lifted my upper body from the bed, and upon discarding the fabric, my erection made itself known in the opening of my jeans. Jasper licked his lips, and I growled when he gently but firmly, pushed me back against the sheets.

Jasper untied my shoes, removed my socks and paid tribute to my naked feet for a while. If he wanted me to lose my self-control, he was already halfway. No one had ever worshiped my body the way he did. This was lovemaking, not casual fucking. I was about to lose it when he finally pulled the jeans off my legs. My erection and I were grateful. "Please, Jasper," I begged as I wrapped my fist around my hardened length.

"You're so beautiful, Edward. I knew you'd be. Seeing you naked, aroused, touching yourself. I have no words." Jasper may not have had words, he showed me instead. He kissed, licked, and caressed every inch of my body as if he was playing a precious instrument. I could easily get used to this.

After he'd spread my thighs wide, he resettled between them. I placed a stack of pillows behind my head in order to watch him and what he was about to do. Before his warm, soft, and wet mouth engulfed my throbbing shaft, he looked up and smiled at me. A beautiful, sexy smile. I almost succumbed to my desire to push back into the tight vacuum of his hot mouth but withheld. Instead, I surrendered to Jasper's mercy and relished the pleasure he brought me. The sight of Jaspers succulent, wet lips gliding up and down my shaft was the stuff dreams were made of.

Need coiled inside me - a growing urge to reciprocate the intimate act he was performing. I wanted to worship him and make his toes curl as well.

Jasper released me with a pop, and I groaned when the temperate air met my throbbing flesh. His warm mouth was an indication of what to expect in the future - a tighter, hotter and more intimate body part where I'd one day bury my manhood.

Without breaking our passionate stare, Jasper rose from the bed and started to undress. Propped up on an elbow, I followed his every move. He shrugged the shirt off his shoulders, discarded the socks and pulled the jeans down over his narrow hips. His boxers followed. His injuries didn't seem to hold him back anymore. The extraordinary combination of Jasper and Jay's cells along with Carlisle's skills had healed him swiftly and made it possible for him to undress without assistance.

I had seen Jasper naked before, but as he stood silhouetted in front of the fireplace, it was like seeing him for the first time. He was aroused and looked magnificent - and he was mine. His approaching movements were almost feline, and I wondered if the way Jasper made love resembled his other form.

One limb at a time, he prowled onto the covers. The hard ridges and planes of his slender body blended perfectly with my harder texture when he climbed me as well. I pulled him closer, and my mouth connected sweetly with his. I eased my tongue between his luscious lips. Tasting, licking and drinking his unique mouth water while I plunged my fingers into his soft curls. He moaned contentedly and ground his erection against mine. The heat and firmness of his size only stimulated my own shaft to swell.

I was ready. I wanted to give myself to Jasper, my lover and mate to be. I reached for the bottle of lube in my nightstand drawer - a bottle I had resorted to several times these last sexless months – and handed it to Jasper. He widened my thighs and spread lube in a place I had never been touched before, other than by my own hand. I had never allowed it. Another gift reserved for my mate. The mixture of cold lube and gentle brushes from his warm, soft fingertip against my entrance felt incredible. He had prepared me well before he added lube to his own straining shaft. He was exquisite, and lust shone from his dark blue eyes.

Mockingly, he stroked himself a few times before I replaced his hands with mine. The generous amount of added lube made my fist slide effortlessly. He was hard, warm, velvety soft, and extremely aroused. We hadn't talked much during the foreplay – our bodies had acted on their own account. Jasper's roused voice broke the silence.

"Are you sure? You still want me to make love to you?"

"Yes, Jasper. I've never been surer of anything in my existence."

"Okay. But promise me you'll tell me if I'm hurting you?"

"I doubt you'll hurt me, but I promise."

"I'll make you feel so good, Edward. I love you."

"I love you too, Jasper."

He kissed me tenderly, and then he turned me onto my right side, where he placed himself behind me; one thigh over my hip, his torso aligned with my back. I could feel the rapid beating of his heart against my shoulder blade and his pulsating erection against my bottom. He teased the crack of my buttocks and my entrance with his eager male perfection for what felt like minutes. He was driving me insane with his deliberate and taunting circles. I begged as we laced our fingers across my non-beating heart. "Please, Jasper. Claim me as no man or vampire ever has. As no man ever will. Only you Jasper, only you, my beloved mate."

"My love, my soulmate," Jasper softly said and pulled me closer to him. There were a few seconds of sharp pain when he actually penetrated me, but it faded the second I embraced his pulsating shaft inside my intimate tunnel. There'd be no formal exchange of wedding vows between us, this was it - the claiming of my mate, even though he actually claimed me. I gasped when the realization hit me. This was it, my mating ritual. I was making love to my mate for the first time, and it already surpassed all my previous experiences by far.

Jasper's erection, hard and hot, warmed me from the inside and out, like fire melting ice. "Goddamn, Edward… you feel so good. Tight, cool, and soft as silk," Jasper whispered with a hoarse voice and kissed that sweet spot below my right ear. The musky scent of his arousal perfumed the room and stimulated my hunger for him.

Slowly he moved his hips. He pulled almost all the way out before he gently pushed back in. Out, and in. In and out. I felt the hair surrounding his shaft stroke my rear as he undulated. He took me places I'd never been before. I doubted it was merely the feeling of being penetrated by a hard and hot body part that made me utter sounds unknown to man. It was my skillful mate and the way he moved his hips that made me cry out in ecstasy. This was better than any hunt, excelling any blood rush, and superior to all dream fantasies.

Neither the bonding nor coupling had made it possible for me to read Jasper's mind, but it didn't matter anymore. Right at that moment I knew exactly what he was thinking, what he was feeling. I thought and sensed it too. Love, possession, devotion, and lust. His body and my body had their own secret language. They communicated and interacted without guidance from our minds.

Our laced fingers moved toward my crotch, and together we found a rhythm mirroring his working hips. His soft lips traveled along my jaw until he nuzzled against my ear, where he murmured soothing and loving words. Jasper's human heart beat vigorously against my back; his accelerated breath caressed my nape. Leisurely he moved his pelvis; withdrew from my tight embrace in slow, torturous glides and then slid back inside while he covered my strained neck with sweet kisses.

I was on the verge of climax. My body shivered, and my coherent thoughts were rapidly slipping. I surrendered to the euphoric state and let my body, Jasper's body, guide me. I could only feel. Feel the love pouring from Jasper into me. From the intimate place, we were connected and from the devoted words, he hoarsely voiced.

A deliberate thrust, hitting a spot deep within, took me over the edge. The orgasm started deep down my core, and promptly fire spread throughout my entire cold body. The rush inside my veins was almost as the day Carlisle changed me, but unlike the transformation, this wasn't painful. It was beautiful and overwhelming. It was mind-blowing and ecstatic. Streams of semen exploded from my exhilarated body, and I was out of breath I supposedly didn't need.

The powerful ejaculation had changed the position of my body. My left knee was bent and closer to my torso. The new angle made Jasper slide further into my hidden depths. I clenched around his throbbing length, and he moaned. Seconds later, he groaned and trembled as he filled me with his liquid heat. Once again, fire overtook my otherwise cold body. His hot essence bathing my insides made me feel alive and almost human again. I never wanted that truly beautiful and pure feeling to disappear.

Jasper held me in a tight embrace while we both gasped from the orgasmic impact. The musky scent of his release invaded my senses, and the heady smell of our passionate lovemaking fragranced my nostrils. I turned my head around, kissed his cheek, and swallowed his shallow breath. I wanted him to remain inside of me for as long as possible, but I also needed to look him in the eyes and tell him I loved him. Reluctantly, I let him withdraw from where we'd been connected and turned around.

"Oh my God. I've never experienced anything as amazing and passionate. Thank you, Edward. For trusting me. For letting me make love to you. For becoming my partner for life. I love you," Jasper cooed and kissed me affectionately with his feverish lips. I had never felt more cherished and loved.

"I love you too, so very much. My precious mate." I wrapped my arms around his sweaty form, and Jasper sighed contentedly. While I indulged myself in his pronounced perfume and nuzzled his damp curls, we exchanged sweet nothings and kisses. Soon Jasper fell asleep against my chest, and I couldn't bring myself to wake him. Carefully, I moved his head to a more comfortable pillow and pulled the blanket over our sated bodies. For an hour, all I did was watching his angelic features. His breathing was steady, and he looked relaxed, contented and peaceful.

I was ecstatic. I had managed to make love with a human without harming him whatsoever, a first for me as a vampire. My body had brought him pleasure. I had bright hopes for our shared future. I believed I'd be able to have a versatile sexual relationship with Jasper after all, and I wished that someday he'd give me a chance to prove my capability of restraint.

For the first time ever, I cuddled with a man. My man and mate. Jasper.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

Well? Hope you liked it. More lemonade to come in future chapters.


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N**

I wasn't able to reply to all of you as you reviewed anonymously. So here it is – THANK YOU for reading and reviewing. I love to hear your thoughts and theories. Please keep them coming.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

The wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli made the story so much better. Thank you.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter 16**

Jasper woke up before sunrise, looking adorable and sexy. He apologized for falling asleep, but I managed to convince him, I didn't mind, even though, our time spent together as men, was precious. We cuddled, and small talked. I reminded Jasper about my lunch meeting with Jenks in Seattle, and once again, I regretted we would have to part already.

"I'll be okay, Edward. It's about time I test my physical feline form. Yesterday, when I talked with Carlisle, he mentioned he'd supervise while I check my mobilization and strength," Jasper assured me.

"Promise me you'll not do anything drastic or dangerous while I'm away."

He laughed at my concerns, and rightly so. Carlisle would not let Jay be reckless, and he was a predator, after all. Albeit, a recently recovered one.

We kissed until the heaven turned red, and then I reluctantly released him from my embrace. I wasn't sure holding him during his shifting was a good idea. I knew Jasper would never harm me, but Jay could do it unintendedly.

…oOo…

I stroked Jay's soft fur before I rose from the bed and headed for the bathroom. I needed to take a shower in order to be presentable in front of Jenks and the people at the restaurant where I was meeting him. I would have loved to carry Jasper's musky scent on my body; but, some might have said I smelled. Not in the normal come-hither-way, but in an I-just-had-mind-blowing-sex-kind-of-way.

Sex-mussed hair and a fading love bite on my neck were reflected in the mirror. I smiled when I thought about the night spent with my mate. In every respect possible, it was the best night I'd ever had. The sex was…wow. But what made it even more special was cuddling Jasper after. In many ways, it was more intimate than our lovemaking.

The water in the shower washed the proof of our coupling away, and I felt sad for a second. If I closed my eyes and concentrated, I could still smell him. His scent clung to my nostrils and was stored in my brain. A more intense and potent note of pure Jasper. I would never forget his fragrance or the way his heated, sweaty skin felt against mine in the afterglow of our lovemaking.

In my closet, I found a charcoal gray wool suit and a crisp white shirt and got dressed. When I bent forward to tie my shoelaces, I noticed a pleasant ache between my legs - an ache I relished. I forwent the tie. The restaurant had an informal touch, and I was a bohemian artist.

I said goodbye, and Jay sent me a sleepy look from the bed before his focus moved to the grooming of his paws.

…oOo…

Upon entering the living room, I received questioning looks from Carlisle and Esme. Despite my bedroom, being soundproof due to my musical passion, their expressions somehow told me otherwise. Had they actually heard Jasper and me during the night or could the cause for their broad smiles be because I hummed and undoubtedly glowed?

"Okay… we made love," I admitted.

"We know," Esme chuckled and Carlisle raised an eyebrow.

Carlisle knew about my random sexual encounters with humans and vampires. He had given me advice more than once regarding my ability to control myself during the actual act. He also knew I'd never referred to the activities as making love. Always having sex. He sent me an understanding smile.

If I could, I would have blushed. Although they weren't my real parents, I sure felt like the average teenager subjected to the mandatory 'sex-talk'.

"Don't be shy or embarrassed, son. We're happy you've finally found true love." Carlisle placed a fatherly arm around my shoulder and Esme kissed my cheek. I withheld the specifics about our mating ritual but revealed enough to let them know the night had been beyond my expectations.

I asked them to check in on Jay while I was out, meeting Jenks. Carlisle told me about some of the exercises he'd have Jay perform, and Esme pointed to the raw leg of lamb on the kitchen counter. I laughed. She actually went to the butcher yesterday and bought meat for my mate.

"You do know he's capable of catching his own food?"

"Of course we do. This is just a snack," Esme smiled. "Maybe we could all go hunting if you're back before sunset," she added.

"Maybe." I returned her smile and headed for the front door.

I felt like taking the fast and presumptuous Aston for a spin, but decided against it, and went for the conservative, safe Volvo. I didn't want to take the chance of being stopped and delayed by car fanatics.

…oOo…

The skyline of Seattle finally appeared ahead of me. I'd spent the drive thinking about the wonderful night shared with Jasper. About how compatible we'd been even though we were different species. However, we were both children of the night. Unlike my four-legged mate, I could move around in a large city unnoticed – even in broad daylight as long as the sky was covered with clouds.

Today, a thick blanket of clouds hung over the downtown area of my destination. I parked the Volvo and decided to take a stroll down by the harbor since I'd arrived ahead of time for my lunch meeting with Jenks. I'd been to the Pacific Ocean located city on multiple occasions. Mainly to meet my agent, but also to attend concerts and find random men for sex whenever I resided in Forks. Sometimes, the encounters had ended with sex and of me drinking their deliciously forbidden blood; but, that was years ago, and I knew I would never cross that path again.

I wanted to say goodbye to Seattle, as I doubted I'd ever return. Jasper and I would find new territories for our future life, in order to stay anonymous. I had already passed the twenty-five years I was purported to be, and Carlisle and Esme's lack of aging would soon be the talk of the town as well. The constant need to move in order to appear human was the only disadvantage of being immortal, besides my physical strength. I hoped I'd be able to control myself and be a considerate lover toward Jasper when the awaited night arrived.

An umbrella sheathed me from the pouring rain, but soon my shoes became soaked. I shortened my contemplated harbor-side-stroll, headed back to the car and drove to the underground parking lot located in the building where my lunch meeting was reserved.

The rooftop restaurant had a stunning panoramic view of Seattle, the Pacific, and the Olympic range. It never ceased to amaze me, how beautiful this part of the US really was. I took it all in while I waited for today's hostess to receive me.

Jenks already sat at our regular table, and I walked toward him with a portfolio in hand. He was close to sixty-five years old and could easily retire. Nevertheless, he thrived by guiding talented youth, as he put it. When the waiter arrived, I ordered sparkling water and a salad to keep Jenks company and for appearance sake. We small talked for a couple of minutes. He gushed about his grandchildren, and I talked about the previous months spent in Europe. We had communicated via email after my return to the West coast; today was our first meeting face to face.

I handed him the portfolio, and he looked surprised when he found sheet upon sheet of newly composed music, besides the promised movie score.

"Edward, this is truly beautiful," he stated as his fingers followed the notes on the sheets. His lips moved accordingly. Unlike many musical agents, Jenks actually had the ability to read and play music himself.

"Thank you. I'm sorry about the delay with the score, but I hope the other compositions make up for my lack of punctuality."

"Sure. I haven't seen you this productive in years. What's gotten into you?" he asked as the waiter arrived with our food.

I smiled at his ambiguous remark. "I have found my muse. My love." I felt proud when I said the words aloud.

"So, I guess I can expect to see more like this in the near future?" Jenks sounded thrilled and pointed to the stack of sheets.

"This is the last music I'll ever release. It's up to you what you do with it. From now on, I only want to play and compose whenever I feel like it."

Jenks looked from me to the sheets. Awe and disappointment were painted on his kind familiar face when he inspected the handwritten notes of my composition. "Edward. Surely, you'll be able to compose even though you have a partner. I've known you for decades; music runs in your veins. You can't help yourself. You have to let it out. Please, share your talent with the rest of us. Real talent is such a rare gift these days."

I knew he referred to all the dubious talent shows on TV and computer-generated hits on the Billboard chart. Still, my mind was made up. "Life with my partner will be complicated. We'll probably have to move around a lot, and I don't want to feel obligated to anyone besides him," I replied with a solemn but resolute voice.

"Okay. I'm happy for you, Edward. True love rarely happens these days. You have to grab it when you find it. It has been a pleasure working with you all these years. I wish you good luck and thank you. I'll make sure these last compositions of yours get the attention they deserve. And should you ever need an agent again, you know where to find me or my nephew; he'll be made partner within a year or two."

I handed Jenks the smaller envelope from inside my jacket. He nearly cried when he read the note and saw the large number of Dollars written on the check. There was nothing else to say, so I left him to his steak and returned to the parking lot.

When I approached the Volvo, a man not unlike my usual type of prey exited a Jaguar parked next to my car. He was tall, handsome, dressed in an impeccable suit and besides his tempting masculine scent, he smelled of money, power and confidence. The man gave me the elevator look, and from his devious smile, I could tell he liked what he saw. Without a doubt, I'd have taken him somewhere for a quick fuck if I had met him mere weeks ago. Instead, I declined his invitation, entered the Volvo and started the engine.

I probably came across deceptive while I turned him down; surely, I'd beamed while I shook my head. There was somewhere else for me to be. Someone precious to spend my time with. Someone to share my life with.

…oOo…

My reputation as a driver was fast, but never reckless. I liked to burn rubber so to speak. On my way back home, I broke all speeding records involving a Volvo. Once again, I regretted not taking the fast Aston. I lifted my feet from the speeder when I passed the Forks sign. This was not the time for me to get a speeding ticket from Jacob Black or anyone else. My only mission was to get home to my mate as quickly as possible.

When I entered the house, silence met me. For a second, I had a bad feeling, but then I saw the top of Esme's hair from the large window in the living room. She and Carlisle were playing with Jay on the lawn behind our house. I smiled at the odd scenario, taking place in front of me. The people I considered my parents were playing catch-the-stick with a giant mountain lion, and I didn't have it in my heart to inform them about Jay not being a dog. My four-legged mate seemed happy in his attempt to entertain Carlisle and Esme. Maybe we did need a full-time pet around the house.

The minute I opened the terrace door and joined my family on the grass, Jay jogged my way. He looked without pain and was no longer restrained by his injuries. He rubbed against my legs, and a deep purring sound came from his half-open jaw. I scratched him between the ears and looked at my watch. If we hurried, we could all go hunting before the sunset.

I hadn't been on a real hunt for days, and neither had my family nor Jay, obviously. I knew Jasper didn't understand my words when he was in his feline form, but I signaled we were going on a hunt. He growled, and I knew he received my message loud and clear. From previous experiences with mountain lions, I was aware how fast, sly and deadly they could be. Undoubtedly, Jay would be able to keep up with our pace. But, would he be able to outrun us too?

Even with a recently injured shoulder, Jay was fast. We ran side by side, followed by Esme and Carlisle. We passed several squirrels, foxes, and hares on our way, but we longed for a larger prey. I had promised Emmett to leave his grizzly alone, but there had to be another challenging animal around. A prey we could hunt, kill and eventually devour.

We noticed the leaf-eating mule deer at the same time. He was majestic and undoubtedly worthy game. Unaware of our presence, we sneaked up on him. I had been in contact with the antlers of an angry buck more than once, so I knew better to approach the animal carefully. Esme, Carlisle, and I surrounded him, and I suddenly realized I had no idea as to Jay's whereabouts. He was next to me mere seconds ago, but he had gone without me noticing. I suspected his instinct got the better of him. He was a hunter, after all. When I was about to jump the deer and bite its throat, I was beaten to it by my own favorite prey.

Jay brought down the buck, and they rolled around the moss-covered ground, fighting for dominance. The deer struggled desperately for its life; long thin legs stuck out everywhere, trying to hit or push its sly attacker away - but all in vain. Jay had held a tight grip on the squirming prey before he dug his sharp teeth into the buck's exposed throat. The kill was swift and demonstrated empirical skills.

"Show off!" I laughed as my mate roared victoriously; exposing his blood covered teeth. Maybe Jay tried to convince us of his ability to support himself, but I needed to explain to him; we were in this together. His hunger was my hunger. If we intended to hunt together in the future, we'd better plan some tactics.

We left Jay with his conquest and found smaller animals nearby to suffice our blood thirst. Proud of my mate's achievement, I was almost inclined to return home with the antlers. Satisfied, we ran back to our house in time for the sunset and Jasper's appearance.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

I have another E&J recommendation for you – The Sound of Silence. It's a very sweet story by NenyaBlackWood. You'll find it in my favorites.

Take care.  
Tink


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N**

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

Maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli made me a better writer. I'm forever grateful, sweetie.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter 17**

Before sunset, we all entered the house from our successful hunt. Jay shifted, and Jasper changed into the jeans and t-shirt I'd placed in the adjoining room before we went out. The atmosphere in the living room was elevated. The fresh blood in our veins had several effects. Our hunger was sated, and the chase always left us exhilarated. Another effect, dare I say, was arousal. Carlisle and Esme quickly excused themselves and went to their private quarters.

Excited like two kids on a trip to Disneyland, Jasper and I ran toward the staircase leading to our room. Playfully, we stumbled upon discarded shoes in the hallway and tackled each other on the first flights of stairs. I held on to Jasper's jeans-clad thigh for a second, but let him escape - purposely. Staying behind him, gave me a perfect view of his delectable ass.

Jasper reached our room, beating me by an arm's length. I shut the door behind me and caught him. His breathing was uneven, and his cheeks flushed as I had him pinned against the wall. I yanked the neckline of his t-shirt aside, buried my head where the nape met his shoulder and breathed him in. His fragrance still inundated all of my senses. After our little hunt in the forest, it was topped with notes of pine, deer, and damp earth.

When I met Jasper's stare, the heat in his eyes was unmistakable. Teasingly, I licked across his racing pulse instead of kissing him. Frustrated, yet delighted he moaned. He buried his hands in my hair and angled my head before he took my mouth with need. Tentatively, his tongue brushed over mine. The rising desire caused his mouth to water and the pungent saliva, blended with tangy flavors of buck, made my thirst for him unquenchable.

"Come, let's shower," Jasper encouraged when we ended the kiss. Truthfully, we were dirty from the hunt and feast. Trails of clothes were left everywhere in our eagerness to get naked. I couldn't help but glance his way - admire the revealed stunning physique standing right in front of me. From the way, his body responded to my gaze, I could tell he liked what he saw as well.

I closed the frosted stalls behind us and started the water in the luxurious walk in shower. It had a built-in bench and showerheads angled in every imaginable direction. Droplets immediately beat down on our backs, and the rivulets circled our torsos, caressing our roused body parts on the way down the drain. Jasper reached for a bar of soap and rubbed his hands until a thick lather of creamy white appeared. With warm wet hands, he covered my torso in sandalwood scented foam and tended affectionately to every part of my body - some parts a touch more affectionately than others.

I took my time returning the gesture. I could feel the heavy heat from his groin whenever my hand brushed his erection; the cascading droplets could no longer drown the contented moans escaping his slightly parted lips. He grabbed hold of my wet hair, pulled my head into another hot and wanton kiss. Our identical heights made us a perfect fit. Before he released my slightly swollen upper lip, he teasingly bit it.

"You really shouldn't have done that," I growled and grabbed his firm buttocks with my large hands; pulling him closer to where I so desperately needed him to soothe the growing ache. I pinned him against the wet tiles and let the spray massage my lower back. It spurred me on, and I ground my crotch against his slick muscular form. We moved our swelling lengths effortlessly thanks to the running water and soap. Jasper licked droplets from my neck and shoulder, and I contemplated whether we should christen the bench next to us. I had looked baffled at Esme when she'd tried to convince me I would thank her for the bench and the sunken bathtub, overlooking the forest, someday.

"Ed….ward, pleaaaasee…" Even though the bathroom was steamed up from the hot sprinkle, I noticed the heat between us had caused the color of Jasper's eyes to change from piercing blue to a darker shade. His cheeks looked flushed as he begged; for what I wasn't sure exactly. But I made it my mission to find out and comply with his every need.

"Jasper, tell me. Tell me what you want, love." My hand was fisted around our joined erections, making slow, efficient strokes. Did he want me to make him come or stop? Luckily, Jasper spoke, but I wasn't prepared for his request.

"Take me to bed, Edward. Make love to me." Jasper moved his hand to where I was working us closer and closer to a release and stopped me. He laced our fingers, and with the other hand, he shut the water off. His suggestion startled me.

"Jasper… I…" I wasn't sure I'd be able to restrain myself. In a week or two perhaps - but already?

"I trust you, Edward. I know you won't hurt me. I want this. I want to feel you inside my body. I want to unite with you this way. Please. Please, make love to me, now." He looked sincere when he moved strands of wet hair from my forehead. The proposal and his hungry stare were too intense, and I dropped my head to his shoulder, feeling excited, perplexed, worried and scared all at once.

With my head still rested against his neck, I mumbled, "Believe me I want to. More than anything, but-"

"No but's. I know you can do it. Please, love." His voice was deep and hoarse with need.

I lifted my head and gave in. "Okay. I'll try, but if I withdraw from you during the act it's not because I'm not enjoying myself. Likely the opposite. But it's for your own good, your safety. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I harmed you in any way."

Jasper reached for some towels, and we dried the remaining droplets from our clean bodies. He took my hand and led me toward the bed. In anticipation, his semi-erection bounced, and I felt the corresponding pull inside me too. At least, I'd try. Foreplay I could handle, the actual coupling, I'd have to see. We removed the bedspread, and he climbed the bed.

Sprawled naked, Jasper looked exquisite. His curls were damp and darker from the shower - about the same shade as the trimmed curls nestling his manhood. His face gleamed with lust, and I could no longer watch him without touching him, smelling him, tasting him. I craved him like an addictive drug, like the richest blood, and _if_ I could restrain myself, I was going to claim him as my true mate.

Gently, I caressed his soft skin with the tips of my fingers. Everywhere I touched left a reaction in its wake – his skin goosed, his nipples pebbled and his shaft stirred. The coolness of my breath soothed him, made him shiver and plead. I had aroused him so fully, that beads of semen appeared and ran down his straining body part. I followed the glistening trail with my tongue, soaking my taste buds in his delicious flavor. He gasped and swelled further in response.

His erection begged for attention, but instead, I focused on the scars on his left hip. They were the constant proof and reminder of his destiny. And possible the circumstance that made him more appealing than any man or a genuine feline I'd ever met.

I kissed and worshiped every part of his perfect body, and he purred in response when I prepared him for my entrance. Upon hearing plastic been torn apart, Jasper lifted his head from the pillow and looked at me. I had left my seat between his thighs, to get the lube and a condom in my nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed covering my straining length with latex.

"Why are you putting on a condom? Is your semen poisonous?"

I smiled. Unlike my venom, the semen was completely harmless and sterile. "No. It's to protect you from the coldness. Like the rest of my body and fluids, my seed is cold. I've shocked more than one man with my icy essence."

"I don't want you to wear one, Edward. Not with me. I want to be able to feel you. All of you, even the cooler sides of you. Maybe you'll be able to soothe the burning fire I feel inside," he said with a daring smile and hooded eyes.

It had been decades since I last had unprotected sex with a human. Not that I ever had to worry about catching any diseases or poison anyone. I had merely worn it out of consideration for the men I was fucking – the ones I hadn't disliked or planned to kill. Jasper's request had me worried. The latex would protect Jasper once I ejaculated; furthermore, it would shield me. I believed the feeling of bare skin to bare skin would be more intense than I could presently handle - let alone, _his_ bare skin.

Jasper crawled toward me; his eyes focused on my sheathed erection. He removed the condom with his soft lips and threw it away, finishing his action with a kiss on my aroused head. His pleading eyes and words persuaded me to forgo the barrier. However, in order for me to police my actions I needed certain things from him. "I want to be able to see you, your eyes while I make love to you. I need to make sure I'm not hurting you. A sideway-position is out of the question, and I doubt you'd go unharmed if I lie on top of you. I suggest you're on top of me. That way you're in charge, and I'll be able to see your beautiful face when you come."

Triumphantly, he handed me the bottle of lube with a smile. My slick index finger prepped him, and a generous amount of lubricant soon glistened on my bouncing shaft. Jasper straddled me and placed himself right above my skyward pointing erection. The heat and the musky scent from his groin embraced me, kindled me.

Jasper leaned forward, kissed me, and then he slowly impaled himself. His palms resting against my abdominals supported him. Mesmerized, I watched as he inched more and more of my flesh inside his body. He took a deep breath as to steady himself when my cold shaft penetrated his hot silk.

When all of Jasper's velvety softness closed tightly around my erection, I was simultaneously doomed and blessed. It was the most divine torture, feeling his bare walls against my naked flesh, but the intimacy of our union amazed me more. I was making love to my mate. I had to fist the sheets as the sensation sent shivers down my spine and ignited my body with primal desire.

I couldn't believe how perfectly I fitted him - how easily he accommodated me. We were the ideal match. He was so beautiful riding me with his back arched and head thrown back. Greedy, he took what he wanted from me, and I was more than willing to give him whatever he needed. I guided his hips now and then, but mainly I let him set the pace. His breathing became uneven, and I could tell he was close.

I sat up underneath him and wrapped his legs around my back. The new position made me go deeper as I pulled him closer to me. Tightly wedged between our joined abdominals his shaft throbbed, desperate to release. "Edward … oh, God I'm so close," he panted and clung to my broad shoulders. I lifted his face, angled his gasping mouth closer to mine; swallowing his erratic breaths and uttered gasps.

His gaze became hooded and unfocused when he approached climax. "I love you, Jasper, so fucking much." My words and a slightly different angle made his thighs shudder and face contort in a pleasurable pain as he loudly came. He scratched my back while warm semen sprayed against our sandwiched bodies. My mate had marked my marbled skin: lines on my back and streams on my chest.

I held him close while his forceful orgasm shook his body. He'd almost taken me with him when I felt his muscles repeatedly clench around me, but I stayed still and managed to hold back. I wasn't ready for our coupling to end yet.

Jasper had covered my face and neck with soft kisses before he released his legs from behind me. Remaining in my lap, he pushed me back against the sheets. Languidly, he circled his hips and relished in his afterglow; he looked sated and fucking sexy. I pulled him to me, stroking his sweat covered spine and the curve of his ass. His beating heart above my chest raced against my throbbing member. I was quickly losing it. All of it. My wits, my steady slow thrusts, but most importantly my restraint. A sudden flare of possessiveness rushed through my veins; the urge to claim him, mark him as mine - in the old-fashioned way. Abruptly, I removed my kneading fingers from his buttocks, reached behind me until my restless hands found and grabbed onto the headboard of the bed.

Jasper looked bewildered for a second, but the contorted look in my eyes told him not to question my actions and to keep the steady pace he was setting. "I'm all yours; you are my all… my precious mate." My words were stifled, yet Jasper smiled and clenched one more time around me. The orgasm sent electric jolts all through my body, and the sturdy wooden bedframe gave in, the second I filled Jasper with the cold creamy wash of my ejaculate. Sounds of splintered wood blended with my primal roar and his startled gasp. The contrast of his warmth and my cold essence, undoubtedly took him by surprise.

I kept my hands fisted around a piece of wood throughout the climax, as I didn't trust my restraint. Every nerve in my body contracted, every muscle convulsed. My frame writhed, my hips jerked when streams of semen spurted perpetually from my engulfed length. I saw fireworks and heard the angels sing - all the clichés were true.

When the euphoria had worn off, I defied my fear and released my firm grip. Broken wood had fallen from my white-knuckled fists before I pulled Jasper closer. I stroked his back and buried my hands in his soft damp locks. The contact soothed my burning palms, and I sighed contently. Jasper panted softly against my neck. Evidence of his second release heated and glued our aligned chests.

"Do I still need to call the fire brigade," I seductively whispered and he chuckled before he kissed me. The movements of his shaking body brought life back to my otherwise satisfied semi-erection. Reluctantly I rolled us sideways and withdrew from his warm, tight grasp.

I was thrilled. I had made love to my mate without hurting him. I saw no bruises or marks on his heated skin, only a slight blush and a sheen of sweat. Although, I doubted Esme would be pleased when she inspected the broken headboard. At that moment, I couldn't care less. Jasper brought me so much pleasure, and I seemed to bring him extensive satisfaction too.

…oOo…

We stayed in bed for an hour, cuddling, thriving in our bliss before we joined Esme in the living room. I withheld the information regarding the splintered wood covering the floor and mattress in my room. Instead, the three of us played Scrabble as Carlisle worked a night shift at the hospital. Later, when I played the downstairs piano, Esme and Jasper talked about his writing and books; turned out she had read a couple of his novels. They didn't know I secretly listened to their conversation. I couldn't help myself. The way Jasper interacted with my family, pleased me immensely. I only hoped Emmett would accept my chosen mate as well. I'd know for certain tomorrow evening after he and Rose arrived.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

Next time Emmett and Rose will emerge – are you excited?


	19. Chapter 18

**A/N**

Thank you for the reviews.

Here's a long chapter for you all.

 **WARNING!** In this chapter, we get to hear Rose's story. It's harsh and might upset a few readers. Bear in mind this is only fiction and she's found happiness with Emmett.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related.

I send my love and thanks to maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli – my beta and mentor.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter 18**

I was sitting in my room, replying to an email from Jenks regarding my contract, when the door to my bedroom slammed open; nearly releasing itself from its hinges. It could only mean one thing - Emmett was here and earlier than anticipated. The sun hadn't set yet, and Jasper hadn't emerged. Instead, Jay lifted an alarmed head from his quilt next to the fireplace and growled at the brick of a man entering my room.

"Eddieeeee." Emmett approached me and gave me one of his famous bear hugs. I welcomed him back. We hadn't seen one another in months.

I had warned Jasper about my blood brother's behavior. But, despite my assurances, Jasper's growls and body language suggested he still considered him a threat to his imprintee. Therefore, before their first-time introduction got out of hand and ended in a bloodbath, I released myself from Emmett's embrace and urged Jay to calm down.

"So, where's the lover boy?" Emmet balled one fist into the other in a challenging manner. The broken headboard of my bed didn't escape his notice when he searched the room for my newfound mate. I was sure Esme and Carlisle had mentioned Jasper the minute he and Rose had arrived.

Jay felt protective of me and hadn't taken his screwed eyes off, Emmett. His fur bristled, and his ears stood erect. A deep hiss escaped his jaws the second their eyes met and Emmett gasped. "What the fuck, Ed! I didn't know you kept your next meal at hand. Very convenient, I must say," he laughed nervously but immediately stopped, as Jay growled loudly at him.

"He's not my next meal, Emmett. I know it's hard to believe. He's actually my mate." I stroked Jay's golden fur with the palm of my hand, calming him.

"Are you nuts? I get you're lonely and seek the company in a pet, but being intimate with an animal? There're laws against that kind of thing, bro'."

"I'd hoped you'd arrive later, Em. Then you'd have met him in his other form." I checked my watch to see how close we were to sunset. Ten minutes give or take, I concluded.

Emmett looked from me to Jay a couple of times, and then without taking his eyes from Jay, he shouted for Esme to come and join us. Esme, Carlisle and Rose all entered my room, looking bewildered. I gave Rose a big welcoming hug, and when I looked at her, really looked, recognition stroked me. I no longer doubted her relationship to Jasper. Her feminine features and caramel colored eyes naturally differed from her twin's muscular body, and sapphire shaded depths, but the golden curls and angelic beauty stood mirrored right in front of me.

"What's the commotion all about?" Rose asked her astonished looking husband.

"Esme told me Eddie finally found his mate, and when I confronted him…" Emmett pointed toward Jay and made a puzzled grimace, "- he said this _pet_ is his mate." The way he pronounced 'mate', almost made him sound Australian. Apparently, living down under for months could have that effect on your accent.

Rose turned her head and looked at Jay. The instant their eyes met, Jay's growl changed to a low purr. "How sweet," she laughed. "I think he likes me." Rose moved forward, kneeled and stroked Jay's fur - as if he _was_ the pet, Emmett mistook him for being.

"Emmett," Esme said with a solemn motherly voice. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to tell you everything before you eagerly stormed upstairs. This is indeed Edward's mate. He's a shifter, and in a few minutes you'll be able to meet his human form."

Emmett and Rose looked from Jay to Esme, to me, and then to Carlisle, hoping he would contradict the nonsense; assuring them, Esme and I were joking.

"It's true," Carlisle confirmed. "I know it seems unlikely, but Edward actually found his mate among a species, stranger than our own."

"It's time." I pointed to my watch and sent Esme a thankful nod, when she led Emmett, Rose and Carlisle out of my room. Emmett's thoughts were loud and clear, there was no way he was ready to witness Jasper shift, and I sure as hell knew, he wasn't ready to see my mate naked.

I watched Jay shift and realized I'd probably never grow tired of witnessing his transformation. First, because it was a beautiful and outstanding scene to watch, second and currently because I couldn't wait to have my real mate next to me - to introduce him to the rest of my family.

"I'm so sorry you had to witness this small family quarrel, Jasper. I didn't expect my brother and his wife so soon. I'd planned to introduce you tonight in the living room. Not like this." Apparently, my explanation was unnecessary as Jasper quietly dressed himself. There went the opportunity of a fooling-around-session before we made the formal presentation downstairs.

"It's okay, Edward. I don't blame your brother. Of course, he must find this liaison strange. However, tell me more about the woman." Jasper sounded eager and went to check his reflection in the mirror.

He looked fine with his five-o-clock shadow and tousled hair. Good enough to eat.

"She's Emmett's mate. They met ages ago and have been together ever since. It's a long story. I'll tell you all about it later." I still hadn't found the best way to drop the bomb but figured he had to know the truth - eventually.

"When you say ages ago, what year are you referring to?" Jasper asked with a quiet voice and stopped lacing his shoes.

"Oh let's see… 1968. Why?" Was it possible that Jasper had seen the resemblance too? Did he recognize Rose?

Jasper gripped the edge of the bed and took several deep breaths before he focused back on his shoes. "I think that woman… Um vampire is my twin sister." I studied Jasper closely and noticed the way he fumbled with the lace on the second shoe, due to shaky hands. Finally, he dropped it to the floor and took a seat on the bed; looking slightly shocked when the realization hit him. He sat speechless, and I was beating about the bush. I knew he had waited a lifetime to find his lost sister and I could easily put him out of his misery by telling him my theories; still I didn't. Probably because I wasn't ready to share Jasper with his only blood-related kind - Rose. I reacted stupid and childish. Finally having a mate made me act possessive and selfish.

When Rose first became a member of our coven, she had talked endlessly about her lost brother. Carlisle and I had often tried to establish whether her brother, had drowned or survived the fatal accident, but never found proof on either. That was until my most recent research. Combining their stories completed the puzzle.

"You're sure?" I finally persuaded myself to say.

"I never knew what happened to her. Somehow, I always hoped she'd survived the drowning accident back in 1954 and lived a good life, parallel to my own. Well apart from the shifting. Um… I guess, you could say, she shifted too." He smiled, but I could tell he was affected - after all, who wouldn't be. Given his upbringing, and despite me being his mate, I wouldn't be surprised if there was concern in there too at Rose's vampire status.

"You could say that," I sighed. "Look, I know this must be really strange. Realizing you might have found your sister after so many years. Realizing she's a vampire."

"Yes. I still can't believe it. She looks exactly like I assumed she would if I'd met her 45 years ago. She smells like my sister. She even sounds like my sister; and yet everything about her is so very different. Her appearance. Her cold hands. I know my senses as feline differ from my human perception, but I'm almost sure. _Your_ sister in law is _my_ sister."

I wrapped my arms around Jasper and held on tight while the man I loved trembled at the prospect of what might be. After a few minutes, I kissed Jasper on the temple. "Are you ready to meet the rest of my family… properly this time?" I asked him and reached for his warm hand.

"Yes… and I'm ready to meet a long-lost member of my own family," he squeezed my hand back. His breathing was unsteady, and I sensed his trembling from where we were connected.

"Are you nervous?"

"A bit." He leaned forward and kissed me. His stubble tickled my jaw and the perfume from our lovemaking the previous night still lingered to his nape when I hugged him tightly. Jesus… I wanted him badly.

…oOo…

Loud voices came from the living room, where all my family members debated. I'd got hold of bits and pieces of their conversation before we ventured down the stairs.

"… how's that even possible? I mean mountain lions are his favorite prey and-"

"Edward has found his mate. I guess love conquered his thirst for the feline's blood." Esme tried to explain to a baffled Emmett.

"How are they going to live? How are they going to go unnoticed? Their relationship could be dangerous for all of us." Rose sounded concerned and even though I knew she could be right, I loathed her for a split second. What would happen when she realized my mate was her beloved brother? Would she try to intervene?

"Stop it, Rosalie. Jasper is part of this family now. He's Edward's mate. And we protect our mates, should it ever come to that," Carlisle stated.

"Here comes the _human_ … or whatever," Emmett joked as Jasper and I paused in the doorway. I wasn't sure how much of their arguing my mate had heard; undoubtedly Emmett's comment. Jasper looked nervous, although determined to progress.

"Here we go." He took a deep breath and grabbed my hand. Encouraging, I squeezed his slightly damp palm and kissed his cheek.

My family stopped arguing when we appeared; still it was like entering the lion's den. Even Carlisle seemed agitated for once. "Everyone," I said with a loud, steady voice. "I'd like you all to meet my mate, Jasper." Everyone turned our way. Emmett looked gobsmacked, and Rose appeared shocked as she eyed Jasper in minute detail.

Jasper and Rose continued to stare at one another from across the room. If I didn't know better, I'd swear they were attracted to each other. Emmett sensed the awkwardness and pulled Rose closer as if he was protecting his mate from another man's allure. From the way their nostrils flared, I realized Rose and Emmett were aware of Jasper not being a vampire. I also noticed some sort of recognition in Rose's eyes.

"J.J.?" Rose freed herself from Emmett's protective grasp and moved slowly toward us.

"Rosie?" Jasper inhaled sharply. "Rosie… I never thought I'd see you again. At least not looking so young and beautiful. You look exactly like mom, only paler," Jasper smiled.

For the first time ever, I saw blood tears in Rose's eyes. Two streams of red ran down her otherwise pale and flawless cheeks. As vampires, we were incapable of crying. Only once during our eternal existence would tears emerge. Emmett had cried the day he found Rose on the verge of death. I had never witnessed Carlisle or Esme cry, and I hadn't cried myself either. Somehow facing her long-lost twin brother, made the perfect and reserved Rose emotional.

I let go of Jasper's hand and gave him a reassuring nod before he moved toward her. I sent Carlisle a confirming stare, making sure he'd be able to intervene, should Rose suddenly lose her willpower and attack Jasper, when she smelled the rush of human blood flowing beneath his skin.

Her nostrils did flare when they were only two feet apart, yet somehow I no longer feared for my mate's safety. Their eyes stayed locked until Jasper wrapped her voluptuous form in a tight embrace. The others were all on high alert when Rose turned her head and buried her nose in Jasper's neck. She inhaled his scent for what seemed like an age. Reluctantly, I prepared myself to protect my mate.

Rose finally removed her head from his neck and shoulder, and I relaxed. "You do smell deliciously human, but there's something else as well. You smell familiar, like home. Rest assured Edward, I'd never harm your mate or my brother. Neither will Emmett. Welcome to the family, twin of mine!"

Exhilarated Rose introduced Jasper to an unconvinced Emmett. "I don't get it… you're what – sixty-five years old?"

"Actually, I'm sixty-seven," Jasper corrected. Emmett had never been a math genius.

"You're not a vampire, that's for sure," Emmett inhaled his human scent and carried on. "What's your secret? How do you stay young?"

"I have a hidden portrait in the attic."

I chuckled at my mate's remark. Emmett looked confused. I doubted he had ever heard of Dorian Gray and his fading portrait.

"It's the ability to shift that keeps me young," Jasper added.

"Aha!" Emmett still wasn't convinced. Rose and Carlisle explained the essentials, and once Carlisle added the fact of high age among the Quileute members to the conversation, Emmett seemed to accept the unlikely coincidence - or destiny more likely. After another scrutinizing look, Emmett could no longer deny the obvious resemblance between his wife and my mate. He gave Jasper one of his famous bear hugs, and I feared for Jasper's fragility. I knew Emmett would never harm him intentionally; still my brother was strong as an ox and Jasper only human.

"So… Jasper, I expect to get some insider tips regarding catching felines from now on," Emmett proclaimed as we all started to unwind since the formal introduction was accomplished.

…oOo…

Rose and Jasper sat on the couch and talked while Emmett told me what he and his wife had been up to since I saw them last. I liked having the house filled with the people I loved the most, and saddened when I thought about the separation we'd be facing, once Jasper and I moved further north in order for him to stay longer in his human form. Esme sensed my sadness and followed me to the kitchen where I began preparing a salad for Jasper.

"Edward dear. No matter where you are, you'll always have this family. Nevertheless, it's time for you to start your own intimate family. Jasper is your mate now, and once you start living together; you'll perhaps appreciate the freedom a separation gives you." She smiled, and I got glimpses of the annoying first years of Emmett and Rose's mating. I didn't mean to read Esme's mind, but letting my guards down to Carlisle the other day, had opened the gates.

Realizing the difficulties for Esme in those early years and the often embarrassing antics of Emmett and Rose brought a smile to my face. "Hopefully, they'll behave themselves tonight," I chuckled and gave her a hug before I returned to the living room where Carlisle had joined Jasper and Rose.

"Edward told me you became Emmett's mate, a vampire, in 1968. What happened, Rosie? How did the two of you meet?" Jasper looked mesmerized at his stunningly beautiful twin, and I pondered if he contemplated whether he'd eventually share the same fate.

"Emmett saved my life. Later he became my life." Rose looked at Emmett across the room and smiled. Emmett sent her a goofy grin back. Then she paused for a while. "Sorry, J.J. It still pains me to think about that horrible day. Then again, I wouldn't have met Emmett if it weren't for the car accident."

Jasper moved closer, and Rose rested her head against his shoulder. With their golden curls intertwined, they resembled one of Raphael's angelic paintings.

"I was twenty-one and a passenger in my fiancé's Volkswagen campervan when my life changed," Rose continued. "We'd attended a music festival even though I was seven months pregnant and hardly able to stand on my feet, let alone keep my balance in a crowd of drugged teenagers. Royce, my fiancé, had forced me to join him for the three-day event. I really had no choice since he'd lent our flat to a couple of his dubious friends while we were away. We slept in the back of the van, but on the third day, I wasn't feeling well. Royce was furious. The Doors was the main act that same evening, still I had to get back, had to see a doctor. Something was amiss with the baby. Before Royce reluctantly agreed to drive me to a hospital nearby, he ate some magic mushrooms. Needless to say, he was incapable of driving. However, the cramps I had was getting worse. Royce was euphoric and let go of the steering wheel singing, "look Ro… no hands - no fuckin' hands" while he drove. He was also wearing shades and too late, I discovered he had closed his eyes as well. I tried to straighten the van when I noticed we were driving in the wrong lane. I was too late. Seconds after a truck hit us… almost full front."

Jasper reached for her hand and stroked it while he whispered soothing words in her ear. I figured he had calmed her that way whenever she had a nightmare or was otherwise scared or sad as a child.

"What happened next was a blur… it still is. I have no recollection of the days past the accident."

I took a seat across from them and continued from where Rose had left off. "Fortunately Emmett and I had attended the same festival that night. We overheard their conversation in the parking lot and Emmett persuaded me to follow their van. He wanted to make sure her fiancé got her to a hospital as the mushrooms we'd seen him consume, heavily influenced him. We followed the van at a safe distance and soon noticed the unsteady driving in front of us.

Headlights from a truck coming toward the swaying van made Emmett jump out of our car and in between the crashing vehicles. The impact was massive, yet he managed to pull the Volkswagen sideways. Royce and the truck driver were killed instantly. Rose was unconscious but still breathing when we managed to drag her loose from the smashed car with our bare hands. The sight that met us was unbearable. A piece of metal had penetrated her… swollen belly and her legs looked crushed. Gently we placed Rose on the rear seat of our car, wrapped her damaged form in a blanket. I had never seen Emmett that serious nor miserable and wondered if he was about to let the blood thirst overpower him.

Emmett and I debated. I wanted us to take her to the nearest hospital, but Emmett said no and persuaded me to call Carlisle. We lived close by, and he figured if anyone could save her that would be our blood father. On our way back home, we passed a gas station where I made a phone call. At first, Carlisle sounded reluctant, although he accepted my request. What persuaded him was my description of Emmett's state. I guess Carlisle by instinct knew Emmett had found his mate.

Carlisle had everything prepared when we arrived half an hour after the accident. From the amount of blood on the back seat of our car, I highly doubted he'd be able to fix her.

Carlisle told Emmett and me to leave the temporary operating table he'd laid out in our kitchen. Esme assisted him, and I was somehow relieved. The exposure to so much blood weighed heavily on our control. An hour had passed before Carlisle emerged - gloved hands and scrubs covered in blood. "She's stable but very weak," he assured us. Emmett almost pushed Carlisle aside on his way to our patient. I followed him, and the sight that met me was gruesome.

Lying on our kitchen table was the woman we'd saved from the wrecked car. Deep cuts from splintered glass covered her face and neck, and her golden curls were smeared with blood. She was still unconscious and looked slightly different from when we brought her in. Then it stroked me. The bulb on her belly was gone. Carlisle looked devastated when he told us; he had removed the dead child from her womb. The sharp piece of metal from the smashed car had punctured her uterus and gone straight through the heart of the child. Causing instant death."

I paused when I recalled the dreaded day. Emmett had cried one time, and that was the day. That exact moment. I had asked Carlisle if vampires could go into shock since Emmett sat emotionless by her bed for days.

"Jesus," Jasper sighed.

"Carlisle and Esme cleaned her up. The stitched cuts and bruises slowly faded while Emmet consistently sat by her side. When she finally awoke from her coma, he was enthralled and anxious. He had undoubtedly found his mate; although he didn't know whether Rose would consider becoming his mate too – his wife and eventually a vampire."

"But I did. And I chose wisely even though I hardly believed the presented option and had my doubts at the time," Rose intervened. "Still, I had nothing to lose. I was paralyzed from the waist down, and scars covered my face. I had just lost my baby and would never mother another child, and my fiancé had passed. The Cullens seemed like a nice family even though they weren't exactly an ordinary one. And then there was Emmett. Sweet Emmett. I never doubted his devotion or love during my recovery, though I always wondered why he wanted me, a disfigured woman."

"You were the one for me. You are the only one for me. My beautiful woman," Emmett boomed from across the room where he played darts.

"Why did you stay with Royce if he wasn't good for you?" Jasper inquired and drank the smoothie Esme had brought him.

"I had to get away from my foster parents. They weren't exactly bad people, just narrow-minded and I felt like they choked me with all their simplicity. One day Royce came to our tiny town. He swept my feet away with his grandiose actions and charm, so I eloped with him. Little did I know of his drug addiction and his wild temper. I had no money, no family or friends to turn to. No other option really. I don't mourn his death. Not one single day.

There're only two things I regret in my life. One is not becoming a mother. The second is not looking for you all those years, J.J. My foster parents told me over and over you had drowned along with mom and dad that dreadful day we went canoeing, and even though I felt and hoped you were still alive - since your body was never found in the river - I finally believed them. If only I had-"

"You're not to blame Rosie. I looked for you too but came to accept you probably were dead, even though I still felt the connection we had as twins. I'm sorry to hear you're unable to mother a child. Have you ever thought about adoption?" Jasper asked, forgetting we probably weren't what would be considered 'a loving and caring family', among adoption agencies. I never doubted Rose would be a devoted mother; still there was always the risk of one of us losing our control, even for a split second.

Carlisle sighed and elaborated. "The fluttering rate of an innocent child's heart is highly appealing to us, and even though we'd love the child more than our own existence, it would be excruciating not to give in to the desire of tasting the purest human blood once again. That's the reason why Rose and Emmett can't fulfill their family dream."

"Well… can't you turn one? I mean save a dying child from mortality." Jasper questioned us all.

"There are rules for turning children into our kind before they've reached the age of eighteen. A person has to be fully developed since we don't mature after the change. Besides, we cannot take the risk with misbehaving immortal children. They could accidentally reveal our existence to the human world," Carlisle stated. Over the last centuries, he had seen more than one coven ruined by the supernatural behavior of an immortal child.

"Oh… I'm so sorry, Rosie," Jasper said with a solemn voice.

"Me too," Rose replied.

"Let's play charades," Esme meddled. The conversation had become moody, and we all joined in with sighs of relief.

It was getting late, end even though I was happy to see Jasper united with his sister and interacting with my family, I wanted to have some intimate time with him before the sun rose. In my room, we undressed, and Jasper went to the bathroom to do his nightly routine. He returned naked and aroused. The smell of his bare skin and lust spurred me on, and we took advantage of the hours we had before daylight.

…oOo…

The following morning, Emmett sent me a mischievous smile when I entered the kitchen with Jay at my heels.

"What?" I sneered.

"Sexy beast," Emmett teased.

"Shut it. You have no idea what I've had to endure over the years… listening to you and _your_ mate," I carried on as Emmett made all kinds of sexual gestures with his large hands in front of me. Jay padded past him, sending him an odd look.

"Um… can he hear what we're saying," Emmett asked with surprise and a small amount of fear in his voice.

"Of course he can hear us. He doesn't understand our conversation. However, he does understand body language and tone of voices. I'd be careful if I were you," I teased with an arched eyebrow, as Jay purred and marked Emmett's leg with his scent. "He could be flattered by all your previous hand signs and courting you," I smiled.

"Fuck no," Emmett gasped and looked scared. "Rosealieeeeee," he cried and ran from the kitchen.

I laughed and stroked Jay's warm thick fur before I presented him with a leg of lamb.

…oOo…

Carlisle had a shift at the hospital, and the rest of us stayed indoors. It was pouring, and neither of us felt inclined to venture outside when we could stay inside. Jay spent most of his day, dozing at Rose's feet. The bond between them was getting stronger. Had Rose not been his long-lost twin, I would have been jealous of all the attention he bestowed her. Deep down, I was jealous. At least I wasn't the only envious person in the room. Emmett kept staring at the two of them more than once as well.

"Jesus… does he have to flag his junk!" Emmett grumbled and turned his head away when Rose scratched Jay's exposed belly. I laughed, but I also took a quick look at what was upsetting Emmett. Surprisingly, I hardly saw anything that could have embarrassed him. There were no free hanging genitals at Jay's scrotum, only a black spot of hair next to the anus. Somehow, I felt relieved. I didn't like the thought of anyone apart from myself examining his privates. I also felt slightly curious and decided to make some research regarding the anatomy of large cats sometime soon. However, at that moment, I only wanted to pay tribute to my man's well-endowed feature.

Right before sunset, I excused myself and headed for our bedroom with Jay prowling behind me. The minute Jasper emerged; he tackled me to our bed with hunger. Seconds later, our clothes lay discarded all over the floor.

When I followed the trail of golden hair down south to his prominent erection, his concentrated musky scent attacked my senses. Soon he moaned and uttered words I couldn't distinguish. Yet I was sure my performance was to his satisfaction, as he rewarded me with his juicy release. The taste of him was beyond enticing, and I savored his hot essence on my tongue before I swallowed.

It was almost as good as I imagined his blood would taste.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

More facts about the vampire's way of life and the laws they have to obey.

I know most of you already guessed Emmett's mate/wife and Jasper's lost twin was the one and only Rose, Rosie, Rosalie.

Leave the Cullens some love - they need it after this.

See you on Friday. Chapter 19 is my favorite chapter. It wasn't part of the original plan, but then I saw Breaking Dawn part 1 (again) and came up with ideas for the theme. That will keep you thinking…

Tink


	20. Chapter 19

**A/N**

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight-related. I borrowed a few ideas and quotes from Twilight and Breaking Dawn – part 1 for this chapter.

My thanks go to the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli. My pre-reader, beta, but more importantly mentor.

Here's an exotic chapter for you. Enjoy!

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter 19**

Rose and Emmett went hunting with Jay while I had a serious talk with Carlisle. I dreaded it was only a matter of time before Jasper would inquire after facts about Rose's actual transformation and whether he'd be able to go through the same change. Of course, I wanted nothing more. Having him as my true mate would fulfill my deepest wish. However, Carlisle and I hadn't found any written evidence confirming the possibility of such a change. Carlisle told me he would need blood samples from Jasper and Jay in order for him to continue his lab research. Until Jasper popped the question, I wouldn't press him.

"By the way… I have something for you and Jasper." Carlisle handed me an envelope. I opened the neatly folded piece of paper and smiled when I read the contents. "I thought you could use some intimate time. Since Emmett brought the plane back, you'll be able to use it. If you depart around midnight, you'll arrive in Rio after sunset given the time difference. Jay can stay in the private bedroom, and none of the staff will know you have a four-legged passenger on board. He does have a passport right?"

"Yes. Thanks, Carlisle. This is perfect." I hugged him and already felt elated. Six nights with the love of my life on an exotic island, all by ourselves. No one to disturb us, no reason to wear clothes… albeit. A loud banging on our front door unpleasantly interrupted my filthy thoughts. Carlisle looked alerted. Naturally, we hardly received visitors. Emmett and Rose had a key, and we'd have heard Chief Swans police car advancing. Therefore, the visitor could only be one of three: a lost hiker, a nomad vampire or a member of the wolf pack.

When we approached the front door the indisputable stench of wet dog, met our nostrils. Carlisle took a deep, unnecessary breath. Of the three choices, a Quileute was the preferred option.

"Hello, Sam." Carlisle greeted the fierce looking bartender and pack leader in front of us. At least he had the decency to wear clothes after his shift; I thought when I sized him up.

"Who's Blondie and the Hulk?" Sam barked and made his way through the door, into our hallway. Puzzled, he looked around.

"What did you expect? Coffins, dungeons, and moats?" I hissed.

"I… never mind. Who's the couple I saw hunting with Jasper?"

"Oh, that would be Rose and Emmett, my family," Carlisle, calmly replied. "I can't wait 'till they hear what you called them." He smiled. I already knew what Rose would think. It wasn't pretty.

"Do they know you and I have a truce?"

"Of course they do. They have been away for a while, but they've hunted in the forest multiple times, without breaking the truce. Not once."

"Can you inform Jasper that I'd like to see him tonight?" Sam confronted me.

"Well, that might be a problem. We're going away for a while. Tonight. Can I give him a message?"

Sam gave me an assessing look. "Jesus! You're not… you're not turning him into one of you, are you?"

"No. We're not sure such a transformation is even possible. Nevertheless, it would be Jasper's choice – not yours," I snarled. I could feel the venom pool inside my mouth. He'd better leave before I lost control.

"Don't forget – we'll be watching you. All of you. Tell Jasper I came by." Sam slammed the door on his way out.

"I must say he's courageous. Coming here all by himself."

"Stubborn and stupid, more likely," I contradicted.

"Edward, Sam is Jasper's friend. The two of you have to get along on some level. Jasper needs to have his old family as well as his new one. Whether you like it or not, he is four-legged half the time."

"I know," I sighed. Carlisle was right.

…oOo…

"It's a gift from Carlisle and Esme," I said when I told Jasper about the generous offer that same evening.

Jasper smiled and chewed the inside of his cheek in excitement and curiosity. "How do we handle the logistics? I mean it is a fourteen-hour flight, am I right?"

"We're taking the private jet. If we leave around midnight, you'll board and embark the plane on two legs. There's a private bedroom at the rear end of the plane. I'll inform the staff you´re sleeping during the flight. I've already packed the necessaries. You just need to gather your personal belongings."

"Midnight you say?" A wicked smile lightened his beautiful face. "That gives us enough time to…"

"No, not really. We're flying ahead of time. However, it'll give us four extra hours on the way back. Plenty of time to join the Mile High Club then," I smiled.

…oOo…

Before we left for the airport, Jasper called Sam. Reassuring him, we were only going on vacation. "Edward, I need to spend some time with my old friends when we return," Jasper stated after the call and I nodded acceptingly.

Rose reluctantly released her newfound brother, and they all wished us a happy vacation when they saw us off.

On the way to Port Angeles, where the plane awaited us, Jasper stayed quite most of the time.

"Are you having cold feet?" I asked, hoping he wasn't regretting our impulsive trip.

"No mine are toasty warm." He leaned sideways and kissed my check. "I'm excited, that's all."

Still, I pondered if Sam had made him question the unexpected turn his life was taking him.

…oOo…

Jasper looked animated when we drove through the narrow streets of Rio in the rented car. Colorful buildings, exotic fragrances, foreign language and rhythms bombarded our senses.

"Remember I told you I'd take you on a proper date once I got better? Well how about here, how about right now?" Jasper sent me a lopsided smile and even though I was eager to make love to him on the soft sand of Isle Esme's shores, he easily persuaded me to make a stop. The boat that would take us to the island was private, so we weren't on a schedule, and we had almost eleven hours until sunrise.

I found an alley and parked the car. The warm, humid night breeze gently caressed my skin the second I exited the air-conditioned BMW. Jasper seemed to welcome the heated air as well. He discarded the jacket that had kept him warm in the cooler car, and the snug V-neck t-shirt and faded jeans made him look sexy.

I hadn't been to Rio since the nineties, and the city had obviously changed. "There used to be a gay-friendly bar not far from here. Let's see if it's still there," I encouraged the all-consuming Jasper. His cheeks looked flushed, his eyes sparkled and he had a mischievous smile on his luscious pink lips.

"Sure," he replied as he took my hand. It was the first time we were out together as a couple. The first time I was out with a partner – my mate; it made me deliriously happy.

We found 'Juan's' where I remembered. The hand painted wooden sign above the door was replaced with a blinking neon one and the slow Bossa Nova rhythms with pulsing samba beats. The music from the bar was loud enough for people to dance in the little square across the narrow street. A couple was about to leave, and Jasper shanghaied their table while I went to the crowded bar for drinks.

Upon my return, I remarked, "I assure you, it _is_ plain whiskey." The two umbrella-decorated glasses made Jasper laugh and question my sanity. We savored the golden liquor and some minutes later, a waiter arrived with a tropical fruit salad for Jasper. Desserts weren't really on their menu, but I compelled the bartender to use some fruits intended for daiquiris to prepare his evening meal. Jasper ate the salad and praised the delicious flavored fruit.

I watched him while he made an impact on the sun-ripened portion. He frequently pushed a large strawberry aside. Frustrated, I wondered if he was allergic to the delicately looking berry. I needed to make a list of his likes and dislikes and question him about allergies and intolerances as soon as possible. I had lost my train of thought for a second while picturing all the horrendous dangers in Jasper's everyday life - when he suddenly placed his warm hand over mine.

"Sorry," I smiled and noticed he had finished the salad - save the strawberry. I also observed the pulsing samba beat was replaced by the erotic rhythms of Bossa nova. Before I managed to ask him about his possible allergy to the no-longer-appealing-looking berry in his bowl, he beat me to it.

"I just want to try one thing." Jasper moved closer and took the single strawberry from where it rested. "Stay very still… Don't move," he continued and placed the ripe berry between his lips. All my alarms were immediately activated. However, Jasper seemed relaxed, kindled even, as he rested his palms on my thighs and slowly approached me. When his intentions dawned on me, I angled my head and widened my lips to encompass the offered fruit. The sweet juice moistened our joined lips. The strawberry wasn't dangerous, but delicious. Together we squeezed the soft tissue and the rich berry only added to his addictive flavor, as I knew it did with Champagne. Jasper delved his tongue into my mouth to retrieve the crushed fruit before I could swallow. I moaned at the loss… I had just had my first strawberry flavored kiss. One in many, I decided.

"I wasn't completely honest before," Jasper sulked when we parted. A lovely shade of crimson tinted his moist lips.

"What?" I nearly jumped my seat.

"There _is_ one more thing I'd like to try. Dance with me."

I loved music. Music was my life and only joy until I found Jasper. Still… dancing? Even though my walk was described as gracious, I had two left feet when rhythm was involved. Jasper, already standing, tempted me with his swaying hips. Jesus! I rose from my comfortable, safe chair, placed my hands on said hips and followed him to the provisional dance floor. He turned me around, pressed his warm body against me. Guiding me. I could feel his rapid heartbeat against my shoulder blades and his hot breath on my collar. I surrendered to the music and rested my head on his shoulder while he snaked an arm around my torso. His warm fingers traced a sliver of bare skin underneath my snug t-shirt while he pressed me closer to his chest. Alienated, we swayed to the exotic rhythms for a song or two. The sudden yearning to see him, to kiss him, induced me to turn around.

Jasper smiled, and his hooded eyes closed the instant I smashed my lips to his. His arms wrapped around me, pulled me closer while he played with the hair at my nape. My hands rested in the waistband of his low-slung jeans. I could feel the swelling of his groin through the denim as I plunged my tongue into his warm mouth. The close intimacy and erotic movements spurred me on; I strained my pants and the desire to have him tortured me. "I have a terrible desire to undress you. To lick you. Tease you. To hear you moan my name when I make sweet, slow love to you… over and over."

"Let's go. Right now," he panted against my neck and took a deep breath as to steady himself. Hand in hand, we left 'Juan's' to the sound of whistling and cheering from an entertained audience.

…oOo…

It was close to midnight when we parked the car next to the pier. The drive had been challenging as Jasper continuously distracted me with kisses, caresses and promises of what to come. The boat attendant wasn't too keen when he saw his midnight customers arrive hand in hand. Nevertheless, the boat was pre-paid and rented for a week. With loath and discriminating thoughts, he entrusted me the keys. Back in the old days, he would have ended as fishing bait.

Jasper boarded the boat, and I handed him our duffel bags. We were traveling light and only brought the essentials: trunks, jeans, t-shirts, boxers, toiletries, and lube. Jasper brought a book and his laptop as well. I planned to bring those two items back - unused.

I started the boat, and soon we'd left the pulsating and illuminated Rio behind us. The fresh salty sea air was welcoming after the incident with the homophobic boat attendant, and when I felt Jasper's arms wrapped around me, I relaxed. The breeze played with his soft curls, and they tickled my cheek.

As we approached the coastline of Isle Esme, I laughed. A road of torches sparkled along the beach and the house was already lit. Undoubtedly, Esme had announced our late arrival to the supervisor.

"Welcome to Isle Esme." I turned the engine off and let the boat glide toward the private pier.

"This isn't real," Jasper chuckled as he watched the scenery in front of him. "This kind of stuff doesn't exist."

"It does in my world!" I chortled.

Jasper sighed and disembarked while I handed him our luggage.

The island was a present from Carlisle to Esme in 1949 - on their fiftieth-anniversary day. Over the years, he'd been offered astronomical amounts of Dollars and Real from the Brazilian government, private billionaires and hotel chains. Fortunately, we never lacked finance and always turned every offer down. I had only visited the Island in the company of my family, and this was the first time I brought someone. A special someone. Now we had the island all to ourselves. Six nights in paradise.

…oOo…

We toured the house, and I had to admit, Esme had outdone herself when she recently redecorated the entire place. Polished dark wooden floor, creamy colored couches, and vibrant colors here and there in the shape of pillows, paintings, vases, and rugs. Exotic plants grew in huge pots and some of the larger ones in the actual ground and throughout the roof. The panoramic terrace overlooked the ocean, and the open doors made the curtains flap in the soft breeze.

Jasper nodded approvingly when he saw the sturdy four-poster bed in the bedroom further down the hall. The adjacent bathroom was to his satisfaction as well. The sunken marble tub looked big enough for the two of us. I didn't let him in on my observation. Not yet.

"I'm gonna need a few human minutes. Then I'll meet you in the sitting room," Jasper smiled and reached for his duffel bag.

"Okay." While he refreshed himself, I checked the content of the refrigerator. I found plenty of fresh vegetables and fruit inside. The proteins we'd have to hunt ourselves. There was a fireplace in the middle of the sitting room, and I lit a fire for the sake of pleasantness. We really didn't need the heat.

When Jasper returned he was still dressed, but he was clean-shaven and had brushed his teeth. I could smell the fresh mint on his breath. Standing next to the flickering flames, I watched him stroll toward me… barefooted. He had the sexiest feet I'd ever seen.

"Hi," he smiled when he stood right in front of me.

"Hi," I hoarsely replied. I was bereft with need. I had wanted him since we danced in Rio - since we boarded the plane for crying out loud!

Jasper's blue eyes had darkened before he leaned forward. His tongue slid along the seam of my lips, then teased them apart. The strong minty taste of his warm mouth was a new experience. I preferred him au natural or strawberry flavored. We kissed and touched for minutes, yet I wanted more.

"I do remember how to undress myself," Jasper whispered as I removed his t-shirt and next focused on the fly of his jeans.

"Yeah, I just do it so much better," I hummed and pulled his pants down over his narrow hips. His jutting arousal greeted me and a feral cry escaped my lips. Jasper eagerly undressed me and naked we placed pillows and a fur throw in front of the fireplace. The second we were vertical, we explored every inch of skin we could reach with our tongues and fingers.

"You seem tight; let me make you feel good. Roll over," Jasper encouraged when I was about to rise and get the lube for the next step in our house-warming-scheme.

"Really?" I questioned him and pointed to our straining body parts. He nodded. "Okay." I turned over and found a bearable position for my throbbing and somewhat frustrated member. Jasper skillfully worked his warm hands up and down my backside. I moaned contently and circled my hips in order to get some friction for my neglected erection. Jasper told me to lie still and replaced his fingertips with his soft lips. Gentle kisses rained down my spine and further down until he… Oh, sweet Jesus!

His warm, wet tongue explored unknown territories, and I was immediately losing it. I stifled my orgasmic cry by biting a pillow. I wasn't sure why I did that. There were no one around to take notice of our lovemaking, we could scream and moan as loudly as we wanted without harassing neighbors or family members. I hoped the pillow I had destroyed and the one I had marked with my release weren't some of the vintage ones Esme collected from around the world. Upon our leave, they'd have to go along with the fur throw.

Panting, I turned around and faced a smug looking Jasper. Within minutes, I had replaced the smug smile on his face with one of contorted pleasure. As my curved fingers found his pleasure spot deep within, he rewarded me with a loud moan and spurts of his creamy release - a delicacy I indulged. Besides Jasper's heavy breathing, only the wood in the fireplace cracked and filled the otherwise silent room.

His skin, misted with perspiration, gleamed beautifully in the fading light from the fire, as we lay naked for some time, dwelling in the afterglow. With legs entwined, and sated erections cupped in the hands of our reciprocal lover, we whispered adoring words until I heard his breathing slow into a steady sleeping rhythm. The traveling, the time difference, the dancing and the lovemaking had made my mate tired.

"Sorry," Jasper yawned when he awoke an hour later. "Guess you wore me out."

"Don't worry. I like watching you sleep. It's kind of fascinating to me."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You talk in your sleep, you drool, and you cling to me. What's not to like?" I chuckled. "No. Seriously, I wish I could sleep and dream. I guess it's the human thing I miss the most."

"I'll let you rest some more while I inspect the surroundings. You can join me at noon if you're up for it. You'll be in for a treat. Looks like it's going to be a sunny day today. You'll be witnessing my sparkling skin," I said when I noticed the orange colored sky outside the panoramic windows.

"Sounds nice. I only hope Jay will be able to appreciate it. I love you, Edward."

"I love you too, Jasper."

…oOo…

While Jay rested in the shadow of palm trees next to the terrace, I explored the neighboring terrain. Hummingbirds and butterflies added vibrant colors to the greenery. Snorting deer and rustling leaves assured me suitable prey was around. I longed for the diversion in prey and hoped Jay would as well.

…oOo…

For dinner, Jasper settled with the juices my body had to offer, and for dessert, we prepared a fruit salad. I was enthralled when I established the stocked fridge contained strawberries. Jasper convinced me; other fruits had their own appeal and decided to show me their qualities. One thing led to another, and more fruit ended outside than inside, the intended bowl.

"You shouldn't have done that!" Grinning, I arched an eyebrow and pointed to the raspberry smudge on my favorite t-shirt. Jasper chuckled, and I chased him around the kitchen. Chunks of peeled and unpeeled fruit flew across the room. Alternately, we had to duck to avoid flying pieces of melon and stainable berries. The scene resembled the annual snowball fights I had with Emmett and Carlisle. Only this was more fun and messy – and leading to something besides a dry set of clothes, I hoped. On my way to the chopping board, for a fresh supply of moist artillery, I slipped in some mashed pineapple. Trying to gain my balance, Jasper tackled me to the ground, and we ended up in heaps of laughter and smeary fruit. Tender, loving kisses rained on my face and neck, and I damned my cell phone when it started ringing.

"I better get this," I halted and pointed to the annoying device in the living room.

Jasper began cleaning the kitchen while I answered the phone. It was Carlisle. He wanted to make sure we still planned to return to Port Angeles on Sunday, as he and Esme would use the plane in the meantime. They wanted to fly to New York and stay for a couple of nights. There were some operas Esme wanted to hear. I assumed it was merely an excuse, as they couldn't stand listening to the nightly activities in their foster children's bedroom. Carlisle made use of the call and inquired as to our well-being. Spending several nights alone on a remote island with my human mate had him slightly worried. Although, he didn't mention his concern, I figured that much when I initiated how well everything developed between us and heard his responding sigh.

During my talk with Carlisle, Jasper had signaled he was going to the terrace. When I ventured outside, I couldn't find him. Panic briefly struck me. Where was he? I ran to the beach and found his discarded clothes and shoes by the shore. In the moonlight, mirrored on the dark surface of the water, I saw him. The moonbeams made the droplets sparkle on his wet skin. He looked ethereal. Impatiently, I ripped my clothes off and strode toward him.

His moist skin tasted of salt, and the weightlessness made our bodies interact differently. Skinny-dipping was definitely my kind of thing.

My wish came true when we made love in the waterline that night. Under the moonlight, on the soft wet sand. Even the lapping of the waves failed to cool the heat between us.

…oOo…

Hastily, days and nights went by. On the third day, my mate longed for something besides fruit and vegetables. I welcomed the prospect of fresh blood, as the pace in the bedroom, and every other vertical or horizontal surface of the house and its surroundings, consumed me. "Let's see who can catch the bigger deer?" Jasper had teased me when we planned the hunt.

A rustling noise to the left put Jay on alert, and I examined the trampled foliage before us. Behind some bushes, a lone male tapir was enjoying a feast of fresh buds. The beast was sturdy built - at least 500 lbs., but with a maximum speed of 30mph. Should it start running, we'd easily be able to take it down.

The sounds of the chase excited me. The fast beat of the distressed tapir's heart. Jay's breath sawing in and out between his bared teeth. We surrounded our prey and sauntered forward. Jay held his strong front legs around the thick neck of the defeated animal, and I realized he offered me the honor of the actual kill. The warm blood was delicious and welcoming. I sufficed my thirst and heard the tapir's heartbeat give in. My hungry mate voraciously took my place when I withdrew my crimson stained teeth from our prey.

Sated, we strolled back to the house.

The fresh blood flowing in my veins and the proteins in Jasper's system had left us exhilarated and aroused. The nourishment made that night's lovemaking feral and intense.

…oOo…

Early in the evenings, we'd played several games of chess – always with the same bet. Many years of restless nights had made me an excellent player, and Jasper still hadn't won. Stubbornly, he refused to give in and on our last night on the island he triumphantly said, "Be prepared to suffer defeat!" followed by the fatal words: "Checkmate!"

Fuck. He won. I was in two minds whether or not to give him what he so passionately desired. I hadn't believed he'd actually win. Maybe I was losing my skill. Nevertheless, I had to reward him. Furthermore, I couldn't resist him.

Jasper's gaze was challenging, and his pink tongue teasingly darted out and wet his lips while he guided me toward the bedroom. Seductively, he undressed himself, and I mirrored his actions. He had scooted back on the white sheet before he laid down, resting his head on a stack of pillows. "I want you. So much," he whispered, and I saw the need in his eyes as well.

"Promise me you'll tell me if I'm hurting you. If I crush you. If I … if I lose control."

Jasper smiled and nodded. "I promise. I trust you. I love you. Please."

My mind told me it was insane to give in, but my straining body part had other ideas.

I made sure he was well prepared before I loomed over him and poked his welcoming entrance with the head of my erection. Briefly, I lingered. Prompting cons and pros of topping my lover. However, Jasper's encouraging words enticed me, and in one swift move, I buried myself in his velvety heat. Instantly, he locked his legs around me, pulling me closer. I absorbed the feeling of having his slender muscles below me and tried to hold the weight of my body away from his torso. Jasper gripped my biceps and arched upward. The action made me slide impossibly deeper.

I kept bucking and circling my hips, continued to explore his depths, taking him further and further to the brink of climax. He bathed my face and neck in the humid warmth of his exhales as he panted and begged me for more, "Harder…. Oh fuck… let it go, love…. Fuck me." A deep feral growl had escaped my mouth before I surrendered. Beneath my pounding hips, I felt the flexing muscles of his lower abdominals as he approached his orgasm. He writhed in mindless pleasure, moaned and cursed underneath my weight and motions, and I was no longer capable of holding back.

Beneath me, I watched my beautiful and ecstatic mate. Damp curls stuck to his sweaty forehead, and his eyes were closed. The tempting pulse, fluttering on his strained neck, was a reminder of my overwhelming desire for blood when close to climaxing. I buried my nose in his nape, inhaled his exquisite scent before I gently kissed the enticing, vital spot.

I could feel the jolts of his body beneath me. Heard him beg for more - that final thrust. I needed to look into the windows to his soul; reassuring, I wasn't harming him. "Look at me," I panted as his inner muscles erratically contracted around me, making my balls tighten, and the coil in my stomach wind up further. He conceded, and his deep blue eyes never left mine during our extensive mutual release and feral cries.

"You really were holding back before," Jasper chuckled when he finally caught his breath. Feathers from a ripped pillow stuck to his glistening body, and the canopy above our heads had given in. Alarmingly, I examined his body, but hardly found bruises or other signs of our passionate lovemaking.

"Thank you." His voice was sincere, but filled with love and affection.

"The pleasure was all mine," I smiled. Slowly, I realized the love and trust Jasper gave me, made me capable of handling obstacles I'd previously avoided. His love gave me strength, the strength to be what my mate needed. I kissed him fiercely and prepared myself for a second round.

…oOo…

On our flight back to Port Angeles, we took advantage of the time difference and joined The Mile High Club.

...oOo...

* * *

 **A/N**

Two more chapters and the Epilogue.

Take care  
Tink


	21. Chapter 20

**A/N**

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli rocks my world.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter 20**

The following morning, we arrived home in time for Jasper's transformation. After a couple of days of 'gathering our strength' and hunting, Jasper and I drove to Sam's bar.

I kept a distance to enable him to interact freely with his friends. I was trying to mind my own business when Emily came to the remote table I was occupying and took a seat. When she placed a glass of my favorite whiskey on the table for me - to say the least, I was surprised.

"The last time we met, I know we didn't part on the best of terms. So, I'd like for us to start over. Jasper's friends are our friends. Don't mind Sam, it's just his protective side coming out. Jasper has changed since he met you… for the better, I might add."

It seemed the night wasn't going to be restricted to the surprising peace offering of whiskey. It looked like conversation was on the cards, too. With the many different ways Jasper's reunion could have gone I was grateful for Emily's efforts.

"Thank you. It's nice to meet you properly, Emily. I'm Edward Cullen." I held out my hand and without hesitation, she took it. She jumped slightly when my cold palm touched her warmer one, and we both chuckled. "I wish I could compliment you as a cook. Jasper speaks highly of your cuisine skills." I smiled.

"Ha! Yeah, I could always make blood sausages for your lot," she giggled.

"Nah, we prefer to drink our nutrition," I teased. As we laughed aloud, Jasper and Sam turned their heads in our direction. Sam looked slightly confused, but Jasper smiled widely. Yes, I could be charming and friendly when I wanted to. I liked Emily - she had spunk. I wondered whether Jasper would like my vampire friends. Not that we ever interacted much. There were Peter and Charlotte down south, and Garrett and the Denali's up North. A possibility was to take Jasper on an introduction tour before we settled somewhere.

We all talked for a while longer. Then, when Jasper and Sam considered themselves caught up on events and gossip, they agreed to meet on a more regular basis. Soon after we said our goodnight's and left.

…oOo…

Driving back home, we passed the road leading to Jasper's cabin. Our journey had been sedate, then, he voiced a thought that in all likelihood had been running around in his head for a while. "Maybe I should terminate the tenancy."

For a few seconds, I was flummoxed at the reasoning for his statement. So, I hedged my bets. "You don't have to worry about the money," I replied, even though I hoped financials weren't the cause for his proposal.

"It's not about the money. My place is next to you, Edward. I want to be with you every day and every night. I'll never move back to the cabin; that's my past. You are my future." He allowed the words to sink in before adding, "Let's collect the rest of my personal belongings tomorrow."

The feeling of warmth that spread through my body was indescribable. I was humbled by his vehemence. The possibility of me living with him didn't even seem to cross his mind. My Jasper, my dear love, was willing to give up his home for me. A lump formed in my throat and for a few minutes, I found it difficult to form words.

Eventually, I coughed and found my voice. "Okay. I want you by my side as well, Jasper. Every hour of the day." I held out my hand, and we laced our fingers, sporting smiles for the short distance left.

When we entered the house, I was still in dreamland over Jasper's decision, and it was my precious mate who broke the news to my family – no our family. Everyone congratulated us. When we left the living room, no one was in doubt of what would befall, once we reached our bedroom. I worshiped Jasper like a precious homecoming present. Not one inch of his body was left un-kissed, and I ensured my tongue caressed more than his tonsils. The gauge as to my effectiveness was through Jasper's moans and his fingers upon my skin. The way he grasped my hair, my back, my arms and my ass, spurred me on. And, oh, when he arched his back into me followed by his groin, it was pure sin.

Jasper's safety, his pleasure, and my control were of paramount importance. Despite straining my pelvis to reach as far inside Jasper as I could; I only ripped the sheets during my heated climax. I was advancing. No broken headboard or feather factories this time.

I stroked his damp skin and dwelled in his heightened perfume. I recalled how Jasper's scent appealed to me on the first night I saw him. How I wished, I could bottle it, bathe in it, and lay between sheets infused with it. Those dreams had come true for as long as life allowed.

I was broken from my reverie by a question I was both elated and fearful to hear.

"Edward, I've been thinking, a lot lately." Jasper broke the silence but paused before he continued, "Is it… Um… is it possible for you to change me, to turn me into a… a vampire?" The flutter of his neck pulse drummed frantically against my chest where he rested his head. I didn't know how to reply, and the silence made him lift his head. His expressive eyes searched mine, and I smiled.

"You'd do that for me, for us? You'd be willing to give up everything - end your human life to become like me?"

"Yes. Like you and your family. Like Rose. It wouldn't be the end, Edward. It would be a new beginning for us. Each day, I'm getting older while you remain immortal. Becoming a vampire would be the possibility of eternal youth for me as well."

My chest tightened in awe of the man in my arms, "Jasper, I will stay with you. Forever and ever."

"Even as my body progresses in years?" He smiled, but I detected disbelief in his deep blue eyes.

"Believe me, even then. However, I doubt you'd succumb to old age. Look at you; you're sixty-seven and fucking hot." I tried to lighten the mood. Still, he was right. Eventually, he'd grow older, and I would forever be arrested in my youth.

"Carlisle and I have done some research regarding the ability for you to become one of us. Yes, the idea has pondered my mind as well," I added when I noticed his surprised expression. "We've read ancient manuscripts, searched the internet, and called friends around the world. No one has ever heard of the possibility for a shifter to become a vampire. Though, you aren't the ordinary shifter, so if you really mean it, Carlisle could do some lab research. He'd need samples of blood from you and Jay. But, you must prepare yourself for a negative result. When Carlisle analyzed your stained bandages, he noticed your blood cells alter from ordinary human beings'."

"Oh," Jasper sighed. "I hope Carlisle will be able to find a solution, Edward. My only desire is becoming your true mate."

"Mine too," I whispered before I angled his head and luscious lips toward my own.

…oOo…

Fortunately, due to the season, the days were getting shorter, and Jasper stayed longer than Jay. I had another vital talk with Carlisle regarding Jasper's condition and his wish to become a full member of our family. Jasper had willingly given Carlisle vials of his blood as human and feline. I hoped Carlisle could establish whether Jasper would be able to become my companion for eternity – a vampire. But the odds seemed to be against us. Whenever Carlisle added drops of my blood and venom or his own to the samples supplied by Jasper, it split into two fluids - like oil and water. It never melted together as it was supposed to do.

Carlisle tested Rose in order to see if the twins still shared blood cells. Some of her blood mixed well with Jasper's and my hope stayed alive, but only for a couple of hours. His blood rejected her vampire cells as well. I had to honor Carlisle for his will to experiment. Every day, when he wasn't at the hospital, he persisted with research in his office or down in the basement lab.

As the days went by, and the research unsuccessfully continued, Jasper prepared himself for the inevitable. We'd probably never have an eternity; only decades to share our love. I, on the other hand, wasn't prepared to give in. Medical miracles happened every day and progress continuously surpassed previous knowledge and limitations. Deep down, I still hoped Carlisle would be able to immortalize my mate.

On Christmas Eve, as we lay on our bed, Jasper cupped my face and dragged his thumbs along the sides of my cheeks. "Edward, no measure of time with you will be long enough, but I'll take whatever time we're bestowed."

I could feel my throat constricting, but I wouldn't give up hope. "Let's see. Nothing's final. We'll continue to experiment and gather information from our vampire friends around the world. But let's make the most of the time we _do_ have," I whispered and wrapped my lips around his; absorbing his addictive bouquet.

From that moment on, we made a pact to live the life we were blessed with to the full, and cherish every moment. We'd already been doing that, but suddenly every moment seemed all the more important.

…oOo…

When spring arrived, Jasper and I decided it was time to move away from Forks, my family, and the increasing daylight. We moved to the south island of New Zealand where autumn roared.

We stayed for many years. Eventually, Carlisle and Esme, too, had to move away from Forks - before people noticed their lack of aging. They relocated to the northern part of Sweden where Jasper and I joined them for part of the year. We bought another house close by and spent our winters nearer to the northern hemisphere and polar nights.

Jasper kept writing stories. Some were published, and others he read aloud to me in the evenings. They were all wonderful, particularly one about a gay vampire and his werewolf companion. I still composed music, but I never recorded or released any new material. As promised when I resigned my contract, I played for family and friends only. Money was never an issue for my family or me; we had more capital than we could ever spend, thanks to Carlisle's shrewd investments in land and stocks. We still received royalties from my music and Jasper's books. He got a huge bonus when a large TV company decided to adapt his latest novels into a series.

…oOo…

Decades after our departure, we all returned to The States and Forks. The Cullen family still owned the forest where we'd lived so many years ago. It felt good to be back at the place where I met my one true love.

We had the old house torn down, and a new one built. It was large enough for all of us to have the privacy we craved. For the majority of the time, Rose and Emmett stayed with us. Over the years, the world had become a strange place. Everything was technology-driven, and it was difficult for our kind to go around unnoticed when iris scanners controlled access to buildings etcetera.

Forks, being small and remotely situated, somehow managed to stay old fashioned. It also had something to do with the Quileutes still residing in the area. Like us, they had to stay away from all the new technology in order to hide their real identities. Over the years, we'd kept in touch with Sam and Emily, and paid a brief visit to Forks when they died of old age. Seth and Leah, Sam and Emily's children, took their parents places as some of our dearest friends when we returned to Forks.

In many respects, time had been kind. We all still had each other, and despite the odd run in with other more traditional vampires, we remained unscathed. Sadly, though, many of the mortals we knew were dead and buried. It was a somber fact of life for the eternally blessed – and we mourned their passing.

Both Jasper and I felt Forks was our real home. We'd traveled the world, but our hearts lay where we first met. In this timeless, history bound, Northern part of the USA was where we were at peace.

It was as if we'd come full circle.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

Your comments and reviews are my personal brand of heroin.

Tink


	22. Chapter 21

**A/N**

Thank you for reading and reviewing.

My thanks go to the wonderful and talented maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli. My pre-reader, beta, but more importantly mentor.

Essential for this final chapter: a box of Kleenex, but more important - faith! Remember there's an epilogue as well.

…oOo…

* * *

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Chapter 21**

The Quileutes, our vampire friends from north and south, along with additional friends, had attended the celebration of Jasper's and my fiftieth-anniversary. Our bond as mates was as kindled as the day we'd declared our love five decades earlier. Yes, we had had out spats, our ups and downs, like any healthy relationship, but we'd always welcomed the darkness with a kiss and greeted the daylight with an 'I love you'. We'd embraced every night, cherished every hour spent together. No significant threats or dangers had disturbed our relationship as lovers and friends. Only one parameter seemed to hinder our everlasting happiness.

Time. Time and the lack of it.

…oOo…

 **Autumn 2064**

"Jeez it's cold in here," Jasper said and trembled when we went upstairs to our large bedroom fourteen days and three hours after our anniversary.

"I'll light a fire for you, baby," I voiced as I closed the door behind me. It was in the middle of November, and it had rained nonstop for weeks. Given the season, it wasn't cold outside as it could have been, but the damp air had gotten to my mate.

"I think I'll take a hot bath. I can't seem to get the heat back into my bones. Will you join me?" Jasper asked as he entered the en-suite bathroom. One wall of the giant room was a window overlooking the trees of the forest. It was pitch-dark outside, but if we turned the lights off and lit a few candles behind us, we'd be able to see the stars while we soaked in the oval floor-sunk tub. There was heating in the marble floor - a finesse even I appreciated as I walked barefoot behind my husband.

Jasper started to remove his shoes and socks, but I requested him to stop. "Allow me, Jaz," I whispered, calling him the nickname I had grown accustomed using sometime over the years.

Gently, I removed his sweater and unbuttoned his shirt. Even though he had passed his 117th birthday, to me, he still looked as handsome as the day I met him. He had gained weight and lost some muscle mass, but his body was still slender. Gray hairs nestled at his temples, smiling wrinkles surrounded his eyes, and he wasn't as agile as he used to be. However, his piercing blue stare had never faded, neither had his lust for me.

Standing completely naked in front of me, I gazed at him from top to toe. He was beautiful, and I wouldn't keep him waiting, so I undressed in a hurry. The water in the bathtub was rising, and Jasper added some of our favorite scented oil. I noticed him shake a bit as he entered, but merely thought it was fatigue or the feeling of the hot water meeting him.

Once seated in the tub, I wrapped my arms around his torso and ran the soapy sponge over his chest, arms and his palms. He moaned contently and started to relax in my arms.

"This is nice. I'm beginning to feel the heat," he sighed.

"Good."

I moved my hands to his silvering curls, and as my fingers swiped his forehead, I was alarmed. He was burning hot. Way hotter than usual. I didn't want to scare him with my discovery, so I remained calm, and we enjoyed our hot bath. One thing led to another, and even though I could feel he was exhausted and feverish, he begged me to make love to him.

I couldn't refuse.

Inside him, where my cold erection gently moved – his familiar hot body was scorching. The difference in our temperatures was akin to ice cubes and fire. He trembled when he came on the tangled sheets, and I followed mere seconds later. I went to the bathroom for a damp cloth to clean him up, and when I returned, only the lump in my throat stopped me from screaming.

Jasper was shaking, and he had a thin film of sweat on his forehead. Not the kind provoked from passionate lovemaking – no, the kind caused by a high fever. Instead of cleaning his scrotum with the damp cloth, I pressed it against his feverish forehead while I checked his pulse. It was too fast, even for a shifter like him.

"Baby. You're burning up. I'm gonna get Carlisle. He has some medicaments to kill the fever," I said feeling more anxious than I had my entire existence. Of course, Jasper had been ill during out time together, but he had never before looked that weak or pained.

"Don't go, please," he muttered before he started coughing badly.

"Carlisle!" I shouted with all I had.

Within a few seconds, Carlisle was in our room. Soon after, he had established Jasper had a severe case of pneumonia and given him a shot of penicillin. While Carlisle tended to Jasper, I got dressed in time for Esme to arrive with hot tea for my mate. None of us had any idea how his illness attacked so quickly. Earlier in the evening when Jay had changed back to Jasper he'd been fine, and he'd said nothing about feeling bad until we ventured upstairs.

The next couple of hours were critical. Jasper drifted between being conscious and unconscious. Between coughs, his breathing was shallow, and I feared for his life. Most of all, I dreaded the unavoidable shifting in a few hours. I stroked his burning forehead with the back of my hand, trying to cool him down. Even though the situation was serious, I couldn't help but smile when I recalled the similar situation taking place decades ago. The night I found him in our guest room. The night I cooled his feverish body with my own. However, this was different. Jasper was older, weaker, and the circumstances more serious. It wasn't a broken shoulder, but an internal infection that tormented him.

When the first beams of sunlight entered our room, I held him in a tight embrace. I didn't want to release him in case he wouldn't be able to make it through the transformation.

"You've got to let him go, son," Carlisle urged. "He's strong, Edward. He loves you. He'll not give in. But you need to give him space in order to shift."

Reluctantly, I complied.

Jasper transformed. It was fast as always, but not without an excruciating amount of pain, which had become the norm in recent years.

The day seemed to drag on endlessly. Jay stayed on our bed, and I didn't leave his side. I made sure he drank plenty of water, and I cooled his hot nose and pads with my thumbs. When the darkness and Jasper returned, we revived our routines. Carlisle gave him another shot of penicillin; Esme brought tea and broth, and I held him tight, trying to cool him down. Days and nights went into a blur, and I dreaded losing my mate. More than anything, I feared life without him in it. By my side.

On the fifth day, the fever broke, and besides the coughing, Jasper started to feel better. He had lost some pounds and Esme prepared food in order for him to gain his weight back and get well. We began with fluids, and when he actually ate a spinach pie, I felt better. When Jay ate a giant piece of prime beef, I was relaxed. It had taken weeks before he was capable of hunting, and I noticed I could outrun him for the first time ever.

…oOo…

The winter was exceptionally wet and cold, and Jay often settled for bought meat rather than killing his own. He was ailing and preferred to nest on a blanket in front of the fire, listening to me playing the piano or Rose telling stories from their blessed childhood. Jasper was getting weaker too, and Carlisle continuously experimented with blood vials and injections, hoping to find a way for us to turn, and save my mate. He also injected some new miraculous synthetic blood into Jasper's weak body, but that didn't work either. Once, with my mate's content, I even bit him several strategic places, hoping the direct transferal of my venom into his system would turn him. But quite violently, his body rejected it. The aftermath was something similar to food poisoning.

Lastly, we all accepted there was no way we could prevent my mate from aging and ultimately die.

I cursed the situation and the mountain lion that bit young Jasper more than a century ago. If only I had been the one to bite him. Mark him and claim him, instead of that damned beast. Jasper and I often talked about his unique situation and, even though, many years had passed since we met, we never came across another case like his.

"Maybe we shouldn't curse the beast. Who's to say we would have met if it weren't for my odd situation? Had I been an ordinary man, you'd probably not have noticed me. My scent would not have been appealing to you and… " Jasper laughed, "I'd have been an old man if you had found me in Sam's bar that night. Sixty-seven years old to be exact."

Of course, he had actually been sixty-seven years old that night so many years ago, but he hadn't looked a day over thirty. The mixture of his own and the lion's blood was what kept him young and alive - much longer than humanly possible. In a way, we had to give thanks to the beast that bit him.

…oOo…

I cursed when spring arrived. It took too much of my precious time with human Jasper. However, he was getting too weak to travel anywhere where winter and darkness ravaged. Jasper had survived winter, but he was fading. Age and everything that went with increased years had finally caught up with my mate.

Carlisle turned our bedroom into an advanced medical room with monitors and tubes, but one night Jasper told him to get rid of all the useless equipment. Nothing could save him, and he wanted to spend his last days in our mutual bed, close to me.

I cooled him down when he was burning hot; I wrapped him in blankets when he was freezing. He had stopped eating but managed to drink water and some broth. He slept for hours and hours, and when he was awake, he was weak. I knew it was only a matter of days before I would lose him.

Our friends came to say goodbye to Jasper. Rose, devastated, of course, hardly left her brother's side. I had to persuade Emmett to drag her away in order for me to have the privacy I craved. The last hours with my mate.

I lay down on the bed beside him; threading my arms around his fragile frame. While I could, I let my body absorb the weakened rise and fall of his chest. Every time I breathed, I dwelled in his warm, sweet fragrance.

"Edward, love, I think it's time. Before I leave, I want you to do one last thing for me." His voice was hardly audible, and he looked weak, almost transparent.

"Anything, love," I replied with a hoarse voice; fearing this was the last evening of his existence.

"I feel like my soul is floating away from my body. Do you think you could try to read my mind one more time? I'm too weak to talk, but perhaps I can show you," he whispered and placed my hand on his weakened heart.

I had tried to read his mind over the years but never succeeded. I was willing to try one more time for Jasper's sake. For my sake. No matter how many times he had told me he loved me, I was still curious about what he ever saw in me. I concentrated, and nearly jumped from the bed when I caught some blurred visions. I sharpened my focus and kept searching.

Some of his memories were not clear – dim human memories from his childhood and years as a young adult. Then I caught glimpses of the first time he'd laid eyes on me in the forest and later in Sam's bar. The way he'd felt when I saved him from his entrapment, the way the sound of my voice and my scent had appealed to him, the day we'd made love for the first time and all the other wonderful times, our anniversaries and laughs.

His lips, suddenly warm against mine, broke the stream of memories. Eagerly I responded to his kiss, trying to force life back into him. Absorbing his familiar aroma, imprinting his addictive bouquet.

"Now you know. No one's ever loved anyone as much as I love you."

"You're almost right," I whispered back, as my eyes were blinded by tears. I cursed them for robbing me of my final views of my Jasper. So, I blinked them away as much as I could. "I can think of only one exception. I love you so, so much, my dearest friend, my love, my mate."

He smiled and closed his eyes. I could feel his heart giving in, and I placed my lips on him, one last time - swallowing his final breath as I covered his warm cheeks with streams of red.

I was dimly aware of soft and solemn conversation around me. Sobs from Rose announced the return of my family. Carlisle's fatherly arm rested comfortingly on my shaking shoulder, but when Esme wrapped her arms around me, my composure went. Shudders of my sobbing torso transported to her tiny frame as I tightly held on to her, buried my face in her neck, and gave in. Grief, sorrow, and emptiness washed over me. Ache tore my body and soul apart. Together, agony burned and chilled my veins, bones, and limbs. I hadn't felt a pain more excruciating since my transformation.

…oOo…

That same afternoon, my family and I laid Jasper to rest in our favorite meadow, close to our home. Our friends from the Quileute tribe attended his burial. Everyone spoke highly of my mate, and I tried to remain composed, even though I was devastated and numb. I never knew it could feel like this, having a nonexistent heart ripped out. Being deprived one's true love - my true love, my Jasper, my mate was purified torture.

Moments prior Jasper's last breath; I'd decided to follow him. I hadn't told my family about my plan. When I bid them goodbye after the funeral, they all thought I was going somewhere remote to work out my grief. I was lucky and blessed, having shared the greatest part of my immortal life with Jasper. I only wished we could have lived together forever. That I could have saved him. Turned him. I knew I would not be able to live another day without him.

I'd already written and strategically placed long farewell letters for Carlisle and Esme, and one for Emmett and Rose as well. I knew Carlisle would find the letters someday soon, and I hoped they would all be able to forgive me for the thing I was about to do. With the love Carlisle had for Esme, I knew _he_ wouldn't think less of me - his first immortal creation - for ending my life. After all, for me, a life without Jasper in it would be akin to Carlisle being without Esme – totally unimaginable. Nevertheless, I figured Emmett would be pissed for a while, losing his blood brother and hunting pal.

…oOo…

I went to the place in the forest, where I had often spotted and teased a lone female cougar. More than once, I had devoured the feline's sought prey right in front of it. I could never read its mind, but every feeling that I picked up on suggested, the animal shared nothing but grudge against me. Giving myself over to _that_ hunter was my only aim – a mission that would not end in my favor.

I found a good spot and waited patiently for my destiny. After twenty minutes, I heard the breathing of the animal and smelled her delicious musky scent as she prowled in my direction. I made sure she knew prey was around by ruffling leafs and twisting branches. Within a few minutes, she was visible and slowly approaching me.

This was my killer. This feline was definitely worthy, I thought while her familiar muscular form moved closer still. The pumping beat of the animal's heart got louder as it crept up on me, and the swoosh of blood coursing through its veins, called to me, as it always had. I could hear the ruffle of its thick fur as its pads softly advanced. The cougar glanced at me as if she knew something was up. Why would a deadly predator as myself, look like I was waiting to be attacked? I stared right back at her, into her screwed yellow eyes, and she took my boldness as an invite to pounce.

I easily moved out of her way. When she realized I'd moved in time to avoid her deadly assault, she bared her sharp teeth and roared at me. Then she snarled before she attacked once more. This time she managed to knock me down, but I punched her in the jaw and raised myself from the ground. Even though my solemn purpose was to surrender, I wouldn't do it without a last fight.

For outsiders, this must have looked like something from another world, and in a way, it was. My world had always been different, even amongst my own kind.

The feline licked its wound before it attacked one more time, and this time I didn't fight back. Her big paws pinned me to the ground as she leaned closer to inhale my scent. A look of bliss crossed her features. Maybe I was her favorite brand of heroin too.

The cougar roared victoriously toward the sky before I sensed the pain of ripping teeth at my throat. A blurred image of a devastated Carlisle entered my vision. I knew nothing would ever take away the pain he would feel about having his first 'blood-child' ending his own life, but I hoped he would be able to forgive me.

When I felt the impact of the killer's vigorous paw across my face, I whispered "Sorry Carlisle," and sighed, as images of my long happy life with Jasper passed by.

Then everything turned black.

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

The story has come full circle, but fear not dear readers. As the title suggests – Death is not the end. I'm all for happy endings.

Tink


	23. Epilogue

…oOo…

 **...oOo... Death is not the end ...oOo...**

 **Epilogue**

EPOV

I could smell the trees above me, and feel the soft breeze on my skin. _Oh, God. No. Please, I couldn't have been saved. No, no, no, no!_ I'd taken action in order for my life to end, as I couldn't live without Jasper. I didn't want to be left here without my beloved mate. If there was a god, I willed him to let my life fade. Urged him. But, it didn't happen.

For what seemed like an age - I lay motionless. Still hoping life would leave me. Alas, it was not to be.

Ever so slowly, the dark void I was in, turned brighter. I felt different. Lighter. I opened my eyes and noticed everything looked blurred. My other senses were unfocused as well. What was wrong with me? I could smell damp earth and pines. I could hear birdsong through the breeze, and I could see trees slowly swaying. But, my senses were not what they used to be. Had surviving my suicide affected my vampire senses?

Then I noticed it.

My heart, it beat.

I placed my hands on my chest; besides the beating, I felt warmth. I moved my hands to the bareness of my arms and gasped when I touched heated skin. As I stood from the ground where I lay, the t-shirt and jeans I wore meeting my destiny, hung loosely around my boyish form, and my shoes were six sizes too big. As if of their own accord, my hands wandered to my face and found softness instead of sharp angles. More importantly, no sign of injuries from the deathly confrontation with my killer.

What had happened to me and where was I? Surely, this wasn't heaven or hell.

I concentrated but heard no low growls or other noises from a lurking cougar. I tilted my head and made sure the feline wasn't hiding in the scrub behind me. It seemed as if she had vaporized and left me unharmed.

Confused, yet curious, I took a good look at my surroundings. Though they appeared familiar, there were divergences as well. Some of my favorite trees looked smaller than I'd recalled, and I found it odd since I had gotten shorter. Water gurgled in what used to be a dried out stream, and the overgrown place for hikers to seek shelter, looked brand new.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, I was not dead. Second, I was no longer a vampire.  
Third, I was no longer an adult. Finally, something I wasn't positive about, yet it was important; I doubted I was in the 21st century.

I found a piece of torn rope on the ground and wrapped it around my waist in order to keep my jeans from sliding down my hips. I nearly stumbled when I walked in my shoes although I had tied the laces around my ankles, hoping they'd also prevent the superfluous amount of denim from making me fall. I was curious as to take in my surroundings, yet a craving for something vital made me linger - I was thirsty.

I hadn't had the urge to drink water in decades, but I felt like I couldn't walk another mile if I didn't quench my thirst. I drank from the cold stream for minutes, soothing my sore throat. The taste of the fresh transparent liquid was even better than I'd recalled. It was nothing like the blood I had grown accustomed and addicted to. Water was the only fluid my mind and body craved.

Once hydrated, I decided to follow the stream. It had to lead somewhere. Toward my home, hopefully.

Home.

Did I still have a home? I had no idea what year I was in and was in the dark whether Carlisle and Esme would even live here in Forks. I was no longer a vampire. My mind and soul were no longer in the body of an adult. It seemed that I was a boy - eight years old, give or take. Forbidden fruit for vampires. Yet, I doubted the Cullens would harm me in any way if ever I found them again. My loving parents. My family. Jasper.

Oh, god. I collapsed on the ground, crying my heart out upon realizing my eternal loss. Time passed before I rose from the damp ground and wiped away the remaining tears from my wet, hot cheeks. Behind some trees, I finally saw a sight I knew – the river. Immediately, I tracked its course to the waterfall, deciding to stay a while before following the stream back home.

Over the years, I had been here on numerous occasions with Jasper. It was still breathtaking to witness the powerful element, even though I could no longer distinguish tiny droplets of water. I placed myself near the bank of the river and dwelled in the pure beauty of the cascading water, thinking of Jasper. This was where it all began. This was where it could end as well. Being human had its advantages; it was an easy life to end.

I imagined that horrific day back in 1954 when Jasper and his family went sailing on the river, oblivious to the danger ahead of them. It was as if I was back there. I was sure my imagination was playing tricks on me when I got a glimpse of something red at the top of the waterfall. It looked genuinely authentic - like the canoe, Jasper had described.

Within seconds, the red became clearer – it _was_ a canoe, turned upside down. Seconds later another canoe slid over the edge, and I caught a glimpse of a woman and a boy before it capsized. A boy with an alarming expression on his face, but most importantly, a mop of golden curls on his head.

Jasper!

I no longer doubted my mind. The vision was real.

Before I could even think, I dived into the cold, powerful river. Losing Jasper again would be unbearable. I focused on the top of his head, but the river swept him downstream, taking me along with him. When I caught up with him, I signaled for him to reach out for overhanging branches and floating stems, but the rush of the river was too strong for boys like us. It only carried us further and further away from the starting point. The canoes and his family were nowhere in sight.

The whirling river was merciless, never giving us a moment of rest to catch our breaths or reach out for supposedly rescuing objects. Instead, we drifted with the strong pull of the current. For the first time in a century, I was feeling cold and vulnerable. I was terrified.

My body, weakened from struggling and the waterlogged adult clothing, made it hard to keep my head above the water. I could tell Jasper's body was giving in as well. We started sinking. Below the surface of the unruly torrent, Jasper and I stared at one another. He reached for my hand, and I grabbed his. I couldn't be sure, but it looked as if he was trying to voice something.

Like shiny pearls, bubbles drifted from his moving lips toward me. If the situation wasn't so critical, the scene would have been genuinely beautiful. _At least we would drown and die together this time_ , I thought. In my eternal submission, I relaxed my limbs and fell back into the depths.

Bonk! Suddenly, a sharp pain at the back of my head made me unintentionally release Jasper's hand. Slowly, he drifted away until a whirlpool of muddy water blurred his frame completely.

Despite my attempts to keep Jasper in focus, my eyelids grew heavy, and my mind became cloudy. Soon, all I was aware of was the roaring water above. Eventually, the thunder of the current was replaced by serene, clear beautiful bell-like voices. Could they be mermaids? Why not? If shapeshifters and vampires walked the earth; there was no reason why mythological creatures couldn't rule the depths.

As if pushing apart solid gates to an ancient temple, I forced my eyes open. I was determined to face the source of the voices. I'd entered clearer calmer water and could just make out someone grasping hold of Jasper. Someone was dragging him upward and out of the river. Someone was rescuing him.

I breathed a sigh of relief. Surely, it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. My precious mate, my Jasper.

Then, nothing!

…oOo… …oOo… …oOo…

CPOV

"I've got you, son, let it all out." Jasper turns over and coughs as remnants of water from the river spew from his mouth. Now, that he is conscious he takes deep gulps, dragging the fresh air into his craving lungs. Exhausted, Jasper slumps back into my arms and slowly opens his eyes. He looks bewildered when he focuses on the source of the voice – me.

Jasper's skin is wet and below regular human temperature from time spent in the water, so I wrap my jacket around his fragile form and work his hands and feet, trying to get them warm. He startles when he feels my cold palms against his slightly warmer flesh. I chuckle. Of course, the boyish version of Jasper has no recollection of Edward's cool touch; a quality he knew, craved, and cherished in his prior life.

"Where… what happened?" he croaks. With my help, Jasper manages to sit upright. Even at this young age, his blue eyes have the intensity about them that Edward often spoke of. And right now Jasper is using them to search mine for answers. He swallows a few times before he tries to ask more questions but his throat, assumingly sore from the drowning incident, makes it impossible for him to voice them.

"You've been in an accident and if it weren't for Edward, you'd probably have drowned." I look at my unconscious boy, resting in the arms of Esme. I had already established that Edward had a pulse, and that he was breathing before I turned my focus back to Jasper. However, my precious son is lying motionless, with the gates to his eyes closed.

Jasper turns his head in the direction of the people dearest to me, and for the first time sees Edward and my darling wife. He is obviously stunned at the view as he gasps and jerks in my arms. Then, he regards them for a while seemingly lost in thought. "Is the boy called Edward? I don't think I know him." Jasper sounds genuinely sincere and confused. He probably wonders why another boy would risk his own life in order to save a stranger.

Oh, if only Jasper knew.

I ponder how Edward will react once he wakes and realizes he has managed to save Jasper with our help. How he will behave when he grasps he is no longer an adult, no longer a vampire.

Changing Edward's physique was never part of my original plan.

Jasper shifts out of my arms to see my boy properly, and I can't help thinking about the events that led to our current situation. Events, which from my point of view, were in the not so distant past. However, despite my vampire abilities, the gravity of it all left my memories in somewhat of a jumble.

…oOo…

 _Witnessing Edward's dismay, when Jasper had gotten ill last winter, made me expand my research. More than once, during my inquiry into ways to help Edward immortalize Jasper, I'd made contact with, Vladimir, an old acquaintance of mine. The week before the last, when Jasper's condition worsened, I'd requested the Romanian's help. He had entrusted me with an ancient spell - a spell secret to all men, and most vampires. A time-travel spell I was advised only to use in the event of there being no other options._

 _There had been no other option once I'd realized Edward took the path that he did._

 _I'd found the farewell letter Edward had written and hid mere minutes after he'd left our mutual home. There had been no outward signs that he was suicidal when he said goodbye, and I'd believed he'd gone to seek solitude for his grief. But it didn't take a genius to figure out his intentions once I found the neatly folded paper – it was there before me in black and white. Oh God, losing Jasper was heartbreaking, but losing Edward too…was not an option. Urgently, I shouted for my family as I collected the items I'd need in order to perform the spell. They had each found their letters and after a brief discussion, we ran from the house in the hope that we'd find Edward before it was too late._

 _I attempted to follow his scent through the trees, but the forest was our playground, too, and his aroma was everywhere. As I ran, I tried to understand Edward's state of mind._

 _My family had been blessed in many ways. Eventually, we'd all found our intended mates. For two centuries, I'd lived in solitude or among other vampire covens before I finally found and turned Esme. We had shared more than 150 precious years and witnessed our sons finding their loved ones. Almost instantly, Emmett found Rose, opposed to Edward, who'd spent decades searching the continents for his mate, only to find Jasper in the neighborhood. For vampires, finding one's mate was essential - losing one's intended was excruciating. I could only imagine the agony Edward was going through. Imagine how empty and pointless he found his future existence. Imagine, but not truly understand._

 _Over the years, I'd witnessed more than one attempted suicide among the remaining part of a longtime matenhood. Even met and treated some of the misfortunate souls. When I'd listened to their testimonies, they'd told me, "Losing a mate's like being left shallow and hollow. As every sense is dulled, and each day a constant blur of pointlessness." I had sometimes wondered what a life without my Esme in it would be like. The thought, let alone, the associated imagery had been too mortifying, and I'd stopped. We'd never encountered real danger, and the idea was, therefore, hypothetical._

 _As fate would have it, I was faced with reality. My son, Edward, was determined to end his life, a life he feared pointless without Jasper by his side. However, I had to let Edward know there was another option. A desperate option he didn't know about, but one worth trying before suicide._

 _I forced myself to run faster._

 _The formula, invented by Vladimir's ancestors, was to take us all back to the fatal day in 1954 so Edward could prevent the beast from cursing Jasper. Vlad himself had assured me Esme, Edward, and I would transport back in time along with the rest of our family members. Although, the spell would not make us human like the others, as we had already been turned prior to the destined date. Rose and Emmett would end up being seven and fourteen years old all over again. Jasper, seven like his twin._

 _Once I became aware of Edward's desperate intentions, I'd sought Esme, Emmett, and Rose's approval before using the formula. I knew tampering with time was a significant risk. I also knew_ if _I succeeded, I'd be able to prevent all bad things from happening to my blood children. I'd be able to offer them the opportunity to live the lives they willingly chose; whether that be as immortal vampires or mortal humans._

 _Rose, with the prospect of parenting children with Emmett, had given her immediate consent and accepted to live a human life similar to the one she'd already lived until her seventeenth year. There'd be no horrendous boyfriend the second time around, only the promise of meeting Emmett. He had given his blessing once I'd guaranteed to save him before he stumbled upon the fatal grizzly bear._

 _Deep within my core, I knew I already had Esme's acceptance; Edward was her son too. And if the spell worked - a son we hoped to grant the wish of eternal life to, with his mate, Jasper. Should Jasper choose immortal life once he became aware of our real identities and gained the appropriate age, Edward would have the option of turning Jasper himself._

 _I don't know if it was instinct of a father and maker that led me to my son, but the solid blood bond between Edward and me became definite when further ahead I saw the_ _cougar's forceful paw stroking his face. The devastating sight of my defeated son_ _brought me to my knees_.

 _I had been too late._

 _In her anguish, I heard Esme scream and soon after the beast was miles away._

 _Instantly, Esme was at my side. I remember her shaking hand as she gave me the written, but already memorized, spell - the magical formula that was meant to make_ _everything all right. Supposedly, Edward's time-travel mission was to fend off Jasper's attacker: the virulent mountain lion. Instead, he had been slayed by a fellow feline._

 _With Edward already slain, I'd feared that the outcome of my desire and good intentions had been futile. Yet, I'd had to try. I closed the distance between us._

 _Time was essential. We couldn't linger. Couldn't mourn the loss of our precious son and brother. Holding Edward's limp body, and with my family members linked to us, I recited the ancient words as I shattered a vial of Jasper's blood in my fist._

 _Immediately, visions of past decades shimmered behind my eyelids. I forced them closed, as prescribed by Vladimir, even though I felt Rose, then Emmet slip away as we headed back in time. I screamed when Edward's body unexpectedly vaporized from my tight grasp, and only Esme's warm hand held a tight grip on my shoulder. I opened my eyes; willed the time-travel to stop._

 _Where was Edward? He wasn't supposed to vanish. Evidently, the fact that he was already dead had altered the spell._

 _Esme and I got on our feet and searched the area. Our son was nowhere in sight and neither were the rest of our beloved children._

" _The river," Esme burst and in a flash, we were at the bank of the roaring creek where we hoped to find Jasper and maybe even Edward. However, they were nowhere in sight. All we noticed were the already crushed canoes. I saw my fear mirrored in my wife's face as we stumbled upon the bodies of Mr. and Mrs. Hale. Further down the river, members of the Quileute tribe were rescuing Rose as predicted, but where was Jasper. We had to focus our attention on saving him. Edward would have wanted us to._

 _The instant we saw tiny bubbles circling the surface of the water, we dived in._

 _The whirling water made the rescue difficult. Even with the two of us searching, it took longer than expected to locate Jasper. As we swam toward the bank with his tiny limp body between us, I noticed another set of fading bubbles further up the river. Without hesitation, I left Jasper on the bank with Esme and returned to the water. I searched for what seemed like an eternity before I detected another boy that I was sure was Edward, lifeless, on the muddy bed of the river. The clothing was the same as those I last saw him in. I couldn't help thinking -_ no, no, no, please don't let me be too late again _. If my heart had a beat, it would have skipped several when I comprehended my possible loss. My son looked almost peaceful. His eyes were closed, his hair moved gracefully with the flow of the water, and it was only his oversized attire, snagged on a rock that kept his fragile body from drifting away._

 _I felt as though someone was hammering at my chest with a chisel. I had to save my Edward._

 _A few hard strokes and my son was in my arms. I secured my feet on the rocky river bed and pushed off. In less than a couple of seconds, I landed on the bank._

 _Undoubtedly, the boy was Edward; I recognized the odd bronze color of his hair and his beautiful features, but something had definitely gone wrong with the time-travel spell._

…oOo…

It was obvious the spell had worked in some form. I had managed to take us all back in time. Jasper was alive. Rose, by now, was saved by the Quileutes and Emmett would be living – or was it re-living, a typical American teenage life in Portland. However, in front of me lay a soaked and unconscious human boy - not the body of the twenty-five-year-old vampire I had transported back in time. No, a young and fragile Edward, incapable of performing such a risky task as fighting a feline. A task, I knew he could easily have accomplished as a vampire. Still, he had tried to save Jasper from drowning in his new, feeble form _._

With my eyes fixed on Edward and my thoughts elsewhere, I'm unaware of my surroundings _._

"Carlisle, Jasper is running away," Esme calls.

Suddenly, it seems as every memory; every cause for Jasper's unlikely whereabouts comes to him: the family vacation, the canoes, parents, and a twin. He stumbles toward the bank of the river, determined to save his parents and beloved sister.

"Watch Edward. I'll go after Jasper." Jasper will not be able to go far; he is exhausted and hindered by the weight of wet clothes. Nevertheless, he has a head start.

I find him behind some bushes, paralyzed. The largest mountain lion I have ever come across, prowls in front of him. I approach in stealth mode while the feline's attention is on the small boy.

The beast moves in on Jasper and the impact from its impressive roar, makes him fall to the ground. Jasper is in shock and doesn't move as the mountain lion inches closer. The animal is no ordinary killer. Besides the odd size, its smell differs from its species, and it has hypnotic, green eyes - opposed to yellow. Surely, this is Jasper's destined attacker; possible another part time shifter trapped in a feline form during the daytime. I ponder whether; another gentle human soul discards fur, paws, and sharp teeth every night, for the sake of being with his loved ones.

I have always been accused of being cordial and sympathetic; that is what drove me in the direction of medicine in the first place – the need to help people. Yet, the deathly beast lurking in front of Jasper seems to lack anything that would connect him with humanity. I have witnessed Jasper in his feline form on several mutual hunts and never noticed the absence of empathy before a kill. Jay has never laid his eyes on or attacked another human being. The particular specimen in front of us is obviously sick and determined to strike unless I intervene.

What happens next, Jasper hardly notices. It happens all too fast for human sight. In mere microseconds, next to him lies the beaten animal with its mouth slack and neck broken. Astonished, Jasper turns his head toward me. Again, Jasper's intense gaze settles upon me. I can't make out whether I've scared him, whether he's thankful, in shock or if he now considers me the dangerous one?

With the obstacle to Jasper's search mission gone, he rises from the ground and runs again. He stops at the riverbank and looks around, calling out for members of his family. They are nowhere in sight, nor are the rented canoes.

"I'm sorry son, but there's no sign of your parents or your sister. People residing the area are aware of the incident and are sending rescue teams, but it's getting dark, and though they'll do all they can to find your family, you must prepare yourself for the worse."

I withhold the information I already have regarding his dead parents. Esme and I found the splintered canoes and their crushed bodies further down the river before we located and rescued Jasper. Although it pains me to leave Jasper clueless about his sister, I can't divulge what I know about future events, especially how the Quileutes have already saved Rose.

I know we will all have to let circumstance take its toll from here on. At least until other destined dates arrive. Dates of importance to my other family members: Emmett and Rose.

…oOo…

Soft sobs beside me make me realize I have plenty of worries and present duties to handle. I squat in front of Jasper, dry his eyes with a soggy handkerchief from my pocket, and tell him I'll take care of him until we hear news regarding his family. Jasper seems to accept my deceitful explanation and grabs my outstretched, cold hand. Together, we walk back to the clearing where Esme and Edward are waiting.

Upon seeing me, Esme discretely signals, that evidence from the recent kill lingers on my chin. I wipe my face with the sleeve of my shirt _. Jesus, in the future, I need to be more careful regarding my diet, vampire abilities, and strength,_ I contemplate as I focus on Edward, who's no longer unconscious. Large, emerald green eyes stare right back at me. Green – yes, of course. Edward's eyes had been green before I turned him. "Edward," I smile at my living son, hoping he will reciprocate. However, he remains perplexed.

Softly, Edward repeats the name I have bestowed him. It doesn't seem to ring any bells. Behind him, Esme whispers, "Amnesia?" There were no visible injuries on Edward's body when I examined him after the rescue mission, only the bump at the back of his head. During my years as a doctor, I have come across several cases of retrograde and anterograde amnesia. If any, Edward suffers from the first. Sometimes, the patients regain their memory, other times they don't. I know there are medical procedures to treat and cure memory loss, but I'm not a fan. As we are in the year 1954, electroconvulsive therapy is considered the answer to most brain related issues.

I will not submit Edward to anything like that. His amnesia could be temporary. Moreover, if it is permanent, who's to say it isn't for the best. A clean slate. The opportunity to start all over again as an innocent boy. Whether Edward remembers his life pre-vampirism and still possess the ability to read, the minds of other people remains to be seen.

Jasper, still holding my hand, looks at Edward, the boy who has rescued him. I like the weight of Jasper's tiny warm palm in my hand. I have no experience with children besides the patients I treat at the hospital. Apparently, Rose and Emmett will not be the only couple parenting children. With Jasper's mother and father gone we will adopt him.

Having children under our roof will be rewarding, but challenging as well. _Where there's a will, there's a way._ Of course, we'll have to seek the approval from the Volturi, as fostering minor human children is forbidden fruit. However, once the elders realize Edward and Jasper assumingly are our future blood-children, I fear no quarrel from Aro's coven or guard.

"Okay, let's get the boys back to our place and give them something hot to drink and blankets to keep them warm," Esme announces as she rises from the ground, helping Edward onto his feet as well. Motherhood has always suited my esteemed mate.

"I think a formal introduction is in order before we start our journey back. I'll begin. I'm Carlisle Cullen, and this lovely lady, is my wife, Esme."

"Hell..lo," Edward stammers and gives me his tiny hand for a proper shake before he repeats the action with Esme. His manners haven't vanished; he is the polite and well-behaved boy he was brought up to be at the beginning of the nineteenth century.

"Edward, I'd like you to meet Jasper, the boy you so bravely saved from drowning. Jasper, this is Edward."

Jasper and Edward look at each other and say hello. They seem shy upon facing one another, but I rejoice when pools of emerald green meet sapphire blue and broad smiles appear on their boyish faces.

Edward and Jasper are oblivious of their associated future. However, my wife and I know the boys share so much more than a random drowning incident. A little tampering with time and nature has bestowed on them a second chance.

Jasper still has his hand in mine, and Edward's is in Esme's. As we turn to walk away, Edward holds out his hand to Jasper, who takes it, and we leave together as a family.

…oOo…

Neither death, form nor chronology will keep Edward and Jasper apart this time around - they are and will always be, true soulmates.

… **oOo… The End …oOo…**

…oOo…

* * *

 **A/N**

Inspiration for this story came from watching a feature about mountain lions. I always found felines more appealing than canines. They are more gracious and I bet they even smell better.

I hope you all enjoyed the way I twisted the usual vampire/shifter story. I sure enjoyed writing it and reading all your wonderful reviews and comments. **Thank you.**

As always, my thanks go to the skilled and patient maryhell AKA Taylin Clavelli. My pre-reader, beta, but more importantly mentor. Sweetie, I couldn't have done this without you. I'm forever grateful - I know the readers are too.

I hope you'll all have a great summer. My vacation starts today. I'm going abroad without my laptop, but I might get some ideas for a future take for The Scrapbook Memories.

Some of you requested a JPOV chapter for this story. Is there any particular episode you'd like to read about? Haven't decided if I'll write another chapter yet. I have some other stories to finish this summer and fall.

Feels weird to hit the complete button. Hope you'll hit the review button and leave the boys some love.

Take care  
Tink


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